Ha-gee-may-mahsh-day

Guess where I’m going??

I’M GOING TO…..

before I say where, I have to show you the after!
I’m dark! With a slight {accidental} ombre think going with my ends. And lest you think I’m really that white (though, I am really that white). I moved a little to the right and look at that! a little more color in the skin. Not so ghostly.

Before and after side by side since I was told its subtle.

I’m really loving the dark. It has a lot of dimension to it and even my old color comes through a bit and offers a little highlight here and there. Only a few people actually noticed at work so it made me think even more that it wasn’t as noticeable but every time I’d walk in the restroom I’d see myself in the mirror and think how obvious it was.

Speaking of work, today is my last day and I couldn’t be more relieved. If there ever was a long week in my life, it was this week. It drug on. It didn’t help that I thought it was Friday on Wednesday AND Thursday. Talk about a moral killer. Another killer is them believing things will fall apart once I leave so they’re piling on the work so I can get it all done before I go. Only thing is, its work that isn’t due for another 2 weeks that they think I should do.

Needless to say, I’ve been busy and pretty upset (since Tuesday) where I almost walked out without returning. I only stayed because I like the people in my office and I didn’t want to leave them in a lurch, but if I were in the main office, I would have walked out without looking back. I’m doing everything in my power to be kind and do as much work as my office is asking me to do, but its proving more and more difficult as I ruminate on Tuesday’s events.

I’m so thankful its over after today. That’s all I’ll say on the matter before letting it rest.

…back to where I’m going.

JAPAN!!!

I leave tomorrow!! I can’t even tell you how excited I am. It’s my first time there and I’ve been attempting to learn anything with the language and it’s proving harder than I thought. Ha-gee-may-mahsh-day, Emily des… is Nice to meet you, I’m Emily. …and well, that’s about as far as I’ve learned.

I cannot wait to see as much as I can about this culture. Just listening to the podcasts and videos to help learn has me so intrigued. I should be blogging while I’m there and I’m so eager to share the trip with you.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Did you think it was Hawaii?

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The weight has lifted

I felt stuck for awhile. I got into a position that I felt pigeon holed in and didn't think I could get out of and it was making me miserable more and more each day. and if I'm honest, a bit resentful.

It struck me while on the plane about to fly back home from my Uncle's funeral just how unhappy I was and wanted a change. In fact I wanted to do something downright rash. My brain was going a mile a minute as I concocted idea after idea but forced myself to sit on it and pray. Keep it from others because I felt they would think me irrational.

I patiently impatiently waited and prayed and as my little mental time frame neared with each day passing, I got more and more confident in my decision. Even if at that moment, I didn't have a backup plan. So on May 31st, I met with my 2 supervisors and discussed my position. I sat in the conference room, my body tense, my face blank as we talked about the raise I wanted. That they were unwilling to give.

And that they ultimately rejected.

I calmly informed them if they didn't meet the amount I wanted, to consider that very moment my 2 week notice and they were quite taken aback. One even turned to the other asking to step out so they could discuss it, but the other refused and condescendingly repeated what I said so he could be clear with what I was threatening.

I confirmed it, not budging under his belittling tone and he asked if I'd wait until the following Monday to see if they'd meet my demand, and I agreed but not before reiterating that if they didn't agree, my 2 weeks began Friday.

The meeting ended and I returned to my desk as if nothing happened but with my mind in a whirl over everything that was said. Growing slowly angry as I thought over what he said and how he said it. It felt good knowing I had my 2 weeks looming overhead, even if it wasn't official yet.

I opened my email and there all by itself sat an email for a position I applied for over a month ago, just waiting for me to open, inviting me to start their testing process. A position that I've prayed for the moment I saw it, that I had countless others pray for for me and I knew in that moment God was taking care of things.

I called my supervisor back down to my desk and told him not to bother until Monday, that I was done and officially quit. He was surprised by what he saw was an out of the blue action, but knowing it was official, I couldn't hide my relief.

My last day is on the 14th, and even though I might not get the other job, I know I'll be alright. It dawned on me that I don't need to stay in a job that under-appreciates me and who thinks I should be grateful for the incredibly low wage they were paying with being told "a lot of people out there don't get paid what they feel they should".

There's better out there. It could be the job I'm testing for that pays 2 1/2 times more or another that pays a little less. Regardless, I know that I don't have to settle and feel stuck anymore, and that is the most freeing thing ever.

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..and its only Thursday

This week my friends, has been quite the week. I thought I left the life of crazies and drama and criminals when I left the department of corrections, but apparently it has a way of following me.

Each day has offered a new and more “exciting” show for me to watch. After being in this position for a year, I’ve finally realized its all one big entertaining show that I should enjoy, rather than get bothered and annoyed by. Ever since then, I’ve sat back with my imaginary popcorn and watched in fascination as it all unfolds in front of me.

Last week, my co worker (who owns her own business w/in our company) offered me a job. It would have been one where I kept my current job but did hers as well. It could have easily doubled my pay. But even though I’ve turned down her position 4 times in the past year, she asked me to seriously consider it over the weekend {again} and give her an answer Monday.

My answer: No

I did consider it, weighed the pros and cons but ultimately regardless of how much more money I would have made, I would have been miserable and told her so. I was miserable while working for corrections making astronomical amounts of money, and even though a pay increase would be nice, I’ve come to learn money truly doesn’t buy happiness. Having turned down her position, she is forced to keep the person she currently has and that is where the drama has occurred.

My brain hurts from all the drama that’s gone on this week. From ex-cops, to district attorneys, to detectives, to gang bangers and convicted criminals, its been tough to keep track of what’s going on when. Its only solidified my resounding no to take over that position.

And its only Thursday.

Yesterday, for G-man’s birthday, I decided to get a little clever. I was able to get the people in his condo building to help me put notes handwritten by me on his truck window (for when he walked out to go to work) and for his front door (for when he came home that night). I wanted to carry out the idea further and get a hold of his co worker to leave a note on his keyboard for when he arrived. Only problem was, I didn’t have his co workers number and the only way I could locate him was if I had his last night.. which I did not. So the work note idea was quickly losing momentum as the day worn on.

The truck window note worked perfect. They put it out there and he was really surprised. But the front door note… well, that didn’t work out quite as planned. Originally, I was told it could be taped to his door, but when I called back to confirm it was done, she told me they weren’t allowed to tape anything, so they put a ‘parcel pick up’ tag on his door (uuhhh, isn’t that taping something to his door??) so he could pick the note up at the front desk.

It was a lot of fun to coordinate, even though it hadn’t worked out like I was hoping it would, but that’s what happens when you’re 3,500 miles away from each other. Things tend to have hitches.

Random cherry blossom picture for your viewing pleasure.

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I wish you sick

All last week I had to work and if anyone knows, working while you have a visitor..a visitor you haven’t seen in 5 months isn’t all that fun. I made sure to keep work out of the know with G-man being in town, even though I got asked daily where my car was, I was able to skirt the question each and every time, citing my generosity to others who were in need of it. you didn’t know I was so humble, did you?

So as the days went on I sort of kind of schemed a bit. …just a little bit.

By Wednesday, I had this crazy secret idea to maybe call into work Thursday to spend an entire day with him. This was going to prove a bit difficult since I’m the only one that does my job and they always comment on how hard it would be for them if I wasn’t there. We had gone out to eat with friends and their 1 1/2 year old (who was sick) and as we were walking out to our cars, she called out, ‘this sounds mean, but I hope you get sick!’ My first thought was, that that wasn’t very nice of her to say, but then the mice started running and I figured out what she meant…and laughed back.

But as the night progressed I was starting to have second thoughts and feel guilty about it all. especially when another girl had just been fired days before for always calling in… It’s one thing to call into prison whenever I wanted. I had 100+ co workers to fill in for me, but here there’s no one!

I was still on the fence about it all when I went to sleep but then 3am hit. I was rudely awoken to being sick. Honest to goodness sick. Went to bed feeling great, woke up barely able to breathe! - Let’s pause and thank God for that one! - You can bet I picked up that phone at 7am to call my boss saying I wasn’t coming in. It got worse throughout the day but we still went out shopping…even though I wanted to lay on the floor at Best Buy, I was so weary.

All throughout the day I couldn’t believe I actually got sick but knew no matter what I had to go into work the next day. How bad would that be calling in 2 days in a row!? As my co workers began arriving they were stressing to me to go home. (its always good when they see that I was telling the truth, you know?) Finally the boss showed up and (though reluctant) let me go “home” at 1.

Only, I didn’t go home. >>evil laugh<< I drove to San Francisco to meet up with my love who was already there to enjoy our last weekend together, and if you follow me on IG, you’d know I showed the first ‘face’ picture of him. Cause I’m generous like that.

crossing over the bay bridge


It may be odd, but I’m thankful God gave me sickness to spend a few extra hours with G-man. It was needed and appreciated. Pin It Now!

Bring you up to “speed”

I can’t say what it is, but something about eluding a cop makes me all sorts of happy.

On my way to work the other day, I went to pass a car on a back road 2 lane highway, and as I’m gunning it, getting right along side her, I see faaaaaar off on the horizon a black car with a white top coming toward us.

It can only mean 1 thing: CHP. I slam on my brakes, get back behind her and go the slow slow speed, waiting for him to drive past.via lolsotrue

As he does, I have this huge smile on my face as he stares me down. I started to laugh right then. He can’t get me, I’m going the speed limit… I was doing the whole, ‘he ain’t got nothin’ on me!’ thing, when he flips a U behind me. At this point I’m talking to myself. ‘I don’t know what he’s doing…he can’t pull me over…I did nothing wrong…let’s see him try…’ and after 2 minutes of this, he turns down a road. But the whole rest of the way, I was convinced! he was tracking me.

Which he wasn’t…

I love eluding cops! Its such a victorious feeling.

Moving on – over a week ago, a co worker of mine, who’s in no way a friend, acquaintance or will ever be for that matter; called me “Em”. I did a double take when she said this, thinking who does she think she is calling me a nickname?? It was odd and in truth, made me a little uncomfortable. I barely have my friends call me Em, let alone a virtual stranger who didn’t seek my permission.

If you ever get an email from me, you’ll see I sign it “Em” but that’s only because I’m too lazy to type the full Emily over and over again…

Any way, fast forward to last Thursday, walking through the office, another co worker calls me Em. I stopped and asked her why she was calling me that and she said a co worker who has authority in the office, told EVERYONE in their sales meeting that I want to be called Em…or “M” as they’re saying.

I never said this!! Now everyone is calling me Em and I can’t even tell you how annoying it is. Its so bizarre!

In other news – My wonderful mom brought to my attention, after my forgetful post, that I was in a head on collision. Head vs windshield and the windshield won, which could very well explain why I can’t remember my childhood, not to mention my 19-20 year since it happened when I was 18.

But after she pointed that out, I remembered all my head injuries I’ve had. I’ve had 2 medically confirmed concussions, but I’ve probably had a total of 3..maybe 4. This makes complete sense why a lot of my memory has faded. My head is all screwed up!

Is it weird I’m a little relieved we figured it out?

Thus concludes a random post by yours truly.

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Chaos and madness

No one believed it would go smoothly and they were right.

As you remember Friday I talked about the fact the woman was getting fired and we were all nervous how it would go down. Well, it didn’t go well. Not well at all.

Word on the streets is she flipped out. Like really flipped out. The manager still shudders every time she tells me how horrible it went, always shaking her head sadly saying, ‘oh it was bad. really really bad.’

I am so thankful I didn’t work in the new office the first 2 days this week, because there were a few people who were very upset over it. To the point of quitting they were so upset by it. But they were talked down from the ledge and are staying..for now.

Can you imagine me walking in Monday morning all perky, bright eyed and bushy tailed saying good morning to everyone?! I would have been hated instantly since all they would have seen was me taking over this girl’s job and it being my fault for it.

So the uppity ups said a little something to help me with that.

They are saying (as I am too…lest I want to be left out to dry) that I’m not “taking over her position” but rather “helping out by temporarily covering until things get sorted out”.

Meaning: make it look {in everyone’s eyes} like I’m only swooping in to save the firing day by covering the position while things calm down…since I was working in the other office, of course.

Its kinda genius if you think about it. They’re making my transition into this new office 1000 times easier by doing this because if that office knew I was originally hired 2 months ago to do just this {take over her position} I would be hated!

Over time, after things calm down they’ll let everyone know that I’m working out smashingly {because really…I’m smashing at my job} and be asked to stay full time permanently. To which I’ll reply, ‘sure, now give me a $5 raise, thank you.’

-kidding..maybe

With all that said, Wednesday was my first day there and let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. At. all.

We discovered this woman was doing some shady things with the business. Big time shady, to the point of thousands of dollars worth of fines had anyone legal found out. And we (me included) had to sort it out, putting out potential fires all day long.

I don’t look forward to the days ahead of discovery. This doesn’t bode well at all and as if it was an omen, on my way to work yesterday, she drove past me. Really, what are the odds of us being at the same intersection at that exact time of day?

Slim, people..slim!

Did I also mention she came in Monday unannounced to get on the computer when no one was there but the receptionist? Yeeeah, no one knows what she did on there…

Here’s to an adventure!
                                                                                   safety helmet – check!

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It happens today…

I’ve been getting trained by the person who’s job I’m taking over.

In other words. She’s unknowingly been training me to take her job.

After a few weeks of working, I realized something. The company didn’t create a position for me like they said they did….but instead, they finally found a person to replace the woman who they’ve wanted to fire for months now. And that person is me.

Maybe in some way they did create it. Hard to say, but it was obvious to me after having a ‘top secret’ meeting with the higher ups that they were eager to fire this woman and have me take over as Office Manager. Only catch is, they were confident she wouldn’t go down without a fight and the best way for me to learn all that position holds is to have her train me without knowing.

And that’s just what she’s been doing…training me to take over. Sadly, I believe when they tell her, it won’t go over well. And sadly, I believe this is the only way to have me learn because I know she won’t help in any way the moment she finds out. I actually believe she might do things…sabotage-ee things once it happens, but I’m just going to wait and see if that’s true.

I sure hope it isn’t, but even her boss told me to come in and copy all her files while she’s at lunch, in case she deletes them all. So I did…and felt a little like a spy while doing it.
I named it the ‘ninja folder’

I understand why they need to fire her. I’m getting trained by her after all, and I have eyes…and ears. Its obvious, but I do feel bad. Its rather devious and she really has no clue at all. Like, at all!

For all she knows, I’m learning solely to help on days she’s out sick. But it happens today and thankfully I’ll be in the other office and won’t witness the spectacle.

All I know is I have to play coy. I can never ever in my time with this company, let on I knew anything about this. So as far as you and I know, I was minding my own business in the other office when they offered me the position at this office after the fact…more pay..more responsibility...more opportunity for growth… how could a girl turn something like that down!?

Its only business.

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You have two faces

I’m seeing a lot of these around me lately. More than I thought. Everyone looks really nice, acts really nice but I’m finding out that’s not the case.
via

Its always a given there will be a few who put up a front to get you to let your guard down, but it seems {right now} that everyone I’m around has a front up. And let me say, my guard is up with a shield and a chain link fence surrounding me, because I don’t trust one single person I’m working with.

At times, I forget and start opening up but quickly remember and close back up. One time I did, I blame Pinterest for being so awesome because I started talking about it to a co worker who hasn’t joined and I told her I’d invite her…well, my blog is linked to my pinterest account and next thing I knew, I emailed her the invite, realized, and had to take my blog address off my pinterest account.

In no way can I have her (especially) or any of my co workers know I have a blog. Talk about needing that separation but its moments like that that I realize I need to very careful with what I say.

There have been other situations where I know almost an entire office of staff do not like this one particular co worker of theirs, but you wouldn’t have the first clue watching them interact with her. Even worse, she’s told me how they praise her and her work weekly. Yet, I know the truth. And I think, if they can be so convincing with her, how much better can they be with me??

Even I start to believe they like her with how they talk to her. Even when she’s not there… {let’s be honest, a lot of women are a bit catty} I was waiting for them to talk about her and they didn’t once…yet again, I know they don’t like her at all.

Talk about confusing!

It makes me tired having to watch what I say. I’ve deflected many personal questions but I know they’ll keep coming and there’ll be moments I won’t be able to deflect.

So, I ask you..how do you keep from answering questions about your personal life at work?

How do you get your co workers to stop asking you personal questions?

I’ve thought about saying, “I’d prefer not to talk about my personal life.” but talk about them instantly hating me after that.

Any ideas, tips or advice would be superb!!

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All in one day

Whoa guys!! I can’t believe your amazing responses to my new design. Thank you a thousand times over for being so sweet!! I know its not at a web designer level, but I’m really thrilled to have done it myself and can’t thank you guys enough for being so kind!

~~~~

I have to say, there’s nothing better than a productive day. I didn’t have to work yesterday, so I made sure to schedule a haircut first thing in the morning so I could actually be productive, rather than sit on that spot that’s starting to sag a little more each day on my couch.

{{you know that spot}}

Off I went to see a new stylist. I don’t like finding new stylists. It always makes me so nervous….aaaaand, even though she’s super nice and sweet and seems like a great all around person, I’m not completely digging my hair.

If you see it, you wouldn’t think anything of it, but I guess I’m comparing it to my hair stylist in HI who does a phenomenal job, and well…they cut differently. But THANKFULLY my hair is once again healthy. It cried tears of joy with each fried/dead/split end getting chopped chopped chopped off. I can’t even tell you how much lighter it feels…or shorter…

In the middle of this haircut, I get a call from a lead manager from work (in regards to that top secret thing I’ve been mentioning) and its in the works FAR sooner than she thought it would be. She’s getting a wee bit of pressure from above, so I might be starting my new position very very soon.

{nervous fingers crossed}

In other news of the day, the ever so smart and clever Lindsay at Delighted Momma, made this FANTASTIC tutorial for making your own nail polish. Since I A. don’t have clear polish and B. don’t have funky shadows, I had to hit up the beloved Target to score me some cheapies. Once I got home, I did everything (made quite the mess) and bam! I have my very own turquoise nail polish. Something I’ve been wanting for a long time.

{{I kinda felt like I was preparing cocaine…in case you wanted to know}}
                        
There’s some sediment in it (cause I didn’t stir/shake enough), and I bought really cheap polish, so I’m ‘paying’ for that, but otherwise, I love this!! And I think my nails turned out great!! I can’t wait to do more colors.

All in all, I saved about $3 vs. buying an actual polish. I’m sure if I hit a cheaper store next time, I’ll save even more!

So, what should the name be? I’ll leave it up to you to decide!

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You don’t look like an idiot

Says the woman I’ve known for a total of 4 days.

I choked on my water when she said this. –Gee thanks… I guess that’s a compliment??

She goes on to say, when she heard they were conducting interviews for a position, she hoped they wouldn’t hire an idiot…and then I walked in {apparently} and her first thought was, ‘oh, this girl doesn’t look like an idiot.’

Boy, am I SO glad I don’t look like an idiot!! After getting hired, 4 days of work later she tells me this fact, again stating, I don’t look like an idiot and don’t appear to be one, since getting to know me.

-again, thank you…??

I’m not sure why people feel its okay to be so bold like this. I guess, since it’s a positive (to them) they feel it should be shared. I don’t know. But share she did. I guess I’m relieved, as maybe others would if they were told they didn’t look like an idiot….

So YES!! I have a job! Its been over a month now and I’m still catching on. I’ll be catching on for a very long time..which I’ll go into in due time, as to why. Lotsa little top secret things going on that I’d rather wait until after its happened to blab.

This is the main reason I’ve had zero time to blog, zero time to return emails quickly, zero time to blog hop and return the blog love and zero time to be lazy. Weird, they won’t let me be lazy there…might have to talk to the CEO about that one.

Here’s a few other comments I’ve received from my new co-workers…

~I knew you’d know what you were doing the moment I saw you **sidenote: I’ve never worked in this field before, I know nothing**
~You’re very professional looking.
~You act very professional. **apparently others do not**
~I knew you were smart when I first met you.
~We’ve already told the CEO we think you’re great and we like you a lot {after meeting them once}
~I haven’t seen the CEO yet this week, but when I do, I’m going to tell him nothing but great things about you.

There’s 2 offices that I’m going back and forth from right now and after working the 2nd office for the first time, I received 2 text messages. 1 from the Lead Manager of that office and 1 from the CEO.

you bet I saved them

I couldn’t believe they texted me. I’m not accustomed to getting texts of praise from management, for one. And two, that day was one of the easiest days I had that week. So I had a moment of guilt since I barely did anything that day.

But hey, they like me!! And hopefully that lasts, cause they have big plans for me, as they’ve mentioned several times. (that’s the little top secret stuff I mentioned)

I spent month after nerve wracking month applying for jobs and not getting hardly any responses. I was getting so down over it all and thankful I had so many praying for me. It was very difficult not knowing what I wanted to do. Since working Corrections the past 7 years and off work for the past 2 since retiring, I was applying for virtually everything under the sun. I was confident no one would give me a chance because my resume showed Dept. of Corrections, and anyone who thinks of that job has a certain stereotype associated with it.

I can’t fault them, shoot, I stereotype them! I was just praying for someone to give me a chance and talk to me. Thankfully this company did!..and they’re giving me more than just a chance, which I am blessed beyond belief over. Though they certainly had me nervous when in the interview they agreed I was “overqualified” for the position they were hiring for and they’d feel “guilty for hiring me for such a ‘lowly’ position”.

Not something a person desperately seeking employment wants to hear.

So what did they do??? Create a position just so they could hire me, where they felt it more suited my management experience.

Well, color me happy!

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