Fresh Prince style..

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down, and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there I’ll tell you how I got stuck in a town called….

San Luis Obispo.

It died at the end, didn’t it? Friends, Friday.. my life got a little flipped upside down. After having a great time the night before (recap later), and spending the entire day with my Uncle and later with some sweet friends, I made my way from Morro Bay to San Luis Obispo when all of a sudden my car felt like it was dying.

I was low on gas, but I’ve had this car for 5 years, I know how long I can drive on E, and I had a long way to go. Naturally, I was in the fast lane, so I quickly got over, prepared to get on the shoulder, when it lurched and started accelerating again. Now I was confused.

This is a fantastic car. A Toyota Highlander. A car that has zero problems EVER.

I’ve owned my far share of lemons in my day.
- 74 Chevy Malibu where I had to carry around a jug of water because the radiator would leak, and would have to fill it almost daily.
- 86 Ford Mustang that had the clutch drop out at a stop light, and the exhaust pipe fall out of the muffler where I could hear it dragging and would have to pull over and slip it back in constantly.
- 98 Grand Cherokee Laredo that on the 91st day of owning it, I discovered the A/C in fact did not work like the dealer claimed. 91st, only because it was the day after the warranty expired. Owning that jeep for 10 years was the worst 10 years ever. Nothing but the worst problems with that car and I will ward off ANYONE who ever says they want to buy a Grand Cherokee. Worst. make. ever.

But my highlander.. G-man bought it for himself 5 years ago. I loved it so much, that I sold my brand new car that I hadn’t even had for 9 months, just so I could buy it from him. I’ve loved it ever since. It’s a custom interior for people who backed out of the deal after it was made. Fully loaded but with cloth seats…almost unheard of. Lexus built, Tundra engine…people, this car is the best! Anyone who’s in it agrees.

So when Friday occurred, it made no sense to me. I made it into the dealership in town, only to be turned away because they were too busy. And this is where I will tell you that persistence pays off. I was told to come back Monday, even though he knew I lived 2 hours away. After I asked what I was supposed to do for the entire weekend, he said “drive it” with no sympathy toward knowing that it most likely would completely die on me when I did.

I got angry.

I got in my car to think about what I should do and I knew it was all under warranty and started wondering if they covered a rental car. I marched back in and asked the same guy about a rental car. He scoffed saying Toyota wouldn’t pay for it without having the car looked at it and that wouldn’t happen until Monday. So I called the warranty company who said to tell him to give me a rental and told me the exact words to use on the guy.

Once I went in for the third time, with my heels dug in, he got the manager and we worked out the rental car so I could drive home while my car stayed there for the weekend. I was informed by the rental company that I was in a “warranty battle” w/the rental and I told him that I had no doubt I would win and Toyota would pay for it. He laughed, but I was dead serious.

Saturday, they called to say they test drove it and had no problems with it. Not the news you want to hear. They called again to say they filed a claim with headquarters due to the rare problem it was having and I had to wait until Monday to hear again.

Finally Monday afternoon, the same guy called to say they’re completely baffled at what’s wrong. After all their testing, they found not one thing visibly wrong with the car. No lights, no warnings, nothing loose and no leaks. AND they said that headquarters stated that this generation Highlander has zero reports of ANYTHING wrong with the transmission. So throughout the entire country, I am the very first person to EVER have a problem with their Highlander’s transmission.

I feel like I should sit on that…. and also receive some sort of medal. I mean really!

So, after driving it more, the mechanics had the same problem I had, and headquarters ordered them to replace the entire transmission, fully covered under warranty.

Praise God! and thank you G-man for buying the extended warranty all those years ago…

I’m highly suspicious of this though. Hanford Toyota (and I will call them out) messed with my transmission in May and I fully believe that they are responsible for this. That this was not a Toyota issue, but a Hanford dealership issue, and I think they absolutely are to blame.

But I digress..

I won the warranty battle with the rental. They’ll pay for the 5 days I’ve had it and if it wasn’t for the persistence I gave, I’d hate to think how much money I would be out of right now. My PSA for today is fight! When you know you need help and have the right to something, don’t let them bully you away just because “they can”. Stand your ground.

remember when it got the flat tire in the ghetto? good memories… I can’t wait to have my car back!

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In all my years of wisdom

You know those people who are filled with wisdom and the moment they open their mouths, you sit back because you know its going to be worth your while?

I’ve never been one of those people.

I’m the one that hears a beautiful quote, a deep meaningful nugget of advice, a life changing piece of wisdom, and forgets it 30 minutes later. There’s only one piece of advice, a quote really that I read a month ago, that I’ve remembered and actually used on someone recently and that was: It’s not that you need more time, its that you need to make a decision.

Amen and amen.

Maybe I should have used that on day 4 of Jenni’s challenge… but when it comes to advice, I actually have a lot of it. You just have to give me a good 3 days past when it’s actually due for me to come up with it. I’m a thinker after the fact. The best kind, if you ask me. Where in the moment, I’m just ok, but let me think on it 1, 2, 48 hours later and I’ll have the smartest, most well thought out piece of advice for you that will literally blow your mind.

Rarely does anyone want to hear it that much after the moment, but darn if I don’t give it any way, albeit to deaf ears. But if there’s one thing I’m big on, one thing that I’ve learned a lot about through major trial and error, is communication in a relationship.

I’m no expert, but gosh, I’m darn near close to it with what I’ve endured in my relationship. In the 5 1/2 years we’ve been together, we’ve gone from zero communication with fights and frustration and hours upon hours, days upon days of being closed off in between, to having an issue and resolving it within minutes. Feeling one did something wrong and addressing it at that very moment. No stewing. No brewing. No fuss. No muss.

Its taken care of and we move on.

Its an amazing thing. Now I’ll tell you, I still get the sweaty palms heart racing moments when I have to address something with him. I’m not sure that will ever go away, but I gird my loins (yes, yes I do..) and I stutter my way through what I want to say because even though I don’t like confrontation {not one bit}, I don’t like having the internal stress of the imaginary scenarios and the built up frustrations even more. There have been times where I wanted to regress into my non confrontational self and hold things in, but the moment I did for even a few hours longer than necessary, would have me broken. There was nothing I could do but address it. I became this broken sad mess until the moment I began talking about it, and that 1000lb weight I had on my heart, would be lifted.

This hasn’t been the first time I’ve talked about communicating. I blogged about my musing on it almost 2 years ago. And another time almost 1 year ago. I’m really that passionate about it and find it important enough that its becoming an annual topic. So its only fitting it’s my piece of advice to you if you are struggling with communicating now. Take baby steps, write an email or a letter. Take that 3 hours to form your words on paper so they can know just what’s been bothering you and ask them for patience, because you both need a lot of patience to get through this.

-How easy is it for you to communicate?

-Have you fought through it? Or still working on getting better at it?

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Changing the direction

No, I’m not changing the direction of my blog. Like it ever had a direction to begin with.  I’m talking about changing up your direction to and from work. Or to and from home.

Yes, this will be a paranoid post by yours truly.

Remember, I’m an expert in these things… Almost from the beginning I was told it was important to never establish a routine in prison. Never walk the tier in the same direction twice, never leave the office at the same time, never go the bathroom, make a phone call, open a cell door, eat your lunch, pop inmates out at the same time every day… doing things like “clock work” was or could very well be your death sentence (or someone else’s)

Same can be applied to your day to day life.

I have to drive through the ghetto in order to get to work. You can change the name to lessen the blow; ‘less than desirable part of town’ but either way, it’s a druggie filled area that I get to work in… I get to watch the same druggies walk by the office and in so doing see whether they’re drug free (at that moment in time) or doped up as they walk by. Not to mention the gang members, homeless, scam artists and families who love them, smoking in their baby’s face while they walk by my lovely floor to ceiling window.

I started to develop the same route to and from work. Driving the same road where they’d all be hanging out at the liquor store and in their front yards watching cars go by. Where the girl would be spraying her husband’s face with the water hose while he had to do pushups in their front walk way and him not being able to breathe…you know, the normal things couples do for all to witness.

It wasn’t until one Friday morning, I was driving down the road and there were cars and people everywhere, lined up over a block long at the Salvation Army, that this one beat up mini van was going under 5mph for reasons I do not know. I couldn’t take it any longer and blared my horn nice and long and when I finally had that inch I needed, sped past him. It wasn’t until that moment I realized I may have rocked the boat on my route a bit.

There were a lot of people out that morning who heard the horn, saw the car and no doubt, saw me. I’m sure they’re used to noise and drama but I would prefer to stay out of it, so I realized it was time I took a break from that route. For the next 3 weeks, I went a different direction to and from work. Alternating between 2 routes. It was longer and more painful since there was more traffic, but I wanted to break the routine I had created.

Now I change it up between 4 different routes. Never taking the same street twice in one day. You can call me paranoid, obsessive, crazy or whatever else you want to think of, but there’s one thing I will always be. And that’s cautious.
via
They watch you. They see the direction you drive and they see the time you drive it. They know when you get home, when you arrive at work and the minute you pass by their place.

My advice to you is: Change it up. Find a different route to work, to home, to school. Make if more difficult for those who are looking to track your schedule. Oh, and of course…take those stupid decal stickers off…cause you know, that’s an obvious bullseye.

Do you take the same route every day or do you make the effort to change it up?

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30 in 30 part deux and a half

Time has definitely ran out for my life’s 30 pieces of wisdom. If by some strange occurrence you missed the others, catch up with part 1 and part 2 as we wait.

I’ve always been in awe of those who can spout off a quote or a nugget of wisdom that was passed down to them. Those ones where you sit after hearing it and say, I’m going to remember that. But then walk out the door and never think of it again.

That’s always been me.

I hear them, sometimes I apply them, but I never have them at the ready to share with others. It can take weeks, if not a couple months for something wise to come to me, and often times, the moment has passed and its forgotten again because it isn't needed at that moment. Of course I have all the important ones ingrained…

..don’t eat yellow snow
..look left, right then left again before crossing
..don't judge others
..be quick to apologize

Throughout my life I've learned quite a few valuable lessons. Some actually made sense for me, others were merely words being spoken but I know I've come a long way in my 30 years of life. I've grown up in a way I never thought I would. Seeing things, experiencing things, learning things that have molded and shaped me into who I am today. A person I've come to quite like.

So, if I was only allowed to give one piece of wisdom over all other pieces of wisdom, it would be to talk. Communicate. Understand nothing will ever be resolved or accomplished or laid to rest if you don't communicate. Its scary and nerve wracking and it even might make you break out into a sweat at the mere thought of being honest with the one you love but its essential to ever truly be happy and free from the constant barrage of thoughts, doubts and inner anxiety that will go on inside you.

Because it will go on inside you. So just embrace it my friends, you'll feel better for it.

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Your decal families

This is a PSA of sorts.

An old co worker of mine talked about it on his wife’s blog over a year ago and I remember nodding my head the whole time in agreement with everything he said.
Now a days, you can’t drive down the road, park at a store or go to a school without seeing those family decal stickers on the back window of a car.

via technabob

When you see them, what’s your first thought? Is it, ‘oh, look they have the cutest little stickers for their 2, 3, 4 kids??’ Or do you think about the dangers that come with having the amount and general age of their kids on their car, for all to see?

The vast majority of you know I used to work in prisons. In that time I had a rather close encounter…too close of encounters with hundreds and hundreds of child molesters. I read their files, I knew what they did, I knew how and what they did to those kids and the ways the kids were lured in.

Its sick.

To this day, among all my prison paperwork, I have tucked away an ongoing note that spanned over a couple days between 2 child molesters that I happened to confiscate when I saw one attempt to pass it to the other. I didn’t know what it was at first when I asked him to hand it over, but I took it, told him to go away, and began reading it. I was shocked. Not to mention disgusted.

It was a conversation about little boys in a magazine they were looking through…and their age preference of them… and then how one, who was coming up on parole, planned to elude the cops, change his name, move out of the state and find himself another little boy..or two or three.

Are you uncomfortable yet??

Now, look again at those decals. Notice the ones that go so far as to give each and every name of their family down to their baby. How much easier do you need to make it for that child molester to come for your kid?

What do all parents say to their kids? Don’t talk to strangers!! But what happens when that stranger comes up to your kid and says, ‘Hey Tommy, your mommy Cheryl told me to come pick you and Jenna up because she had to take your little sister Heather to the doctor.’

And how does he know where you live? Easy! He followed you home, thanks to your decals being so easy to spot. They are elaborate thinkers! They will do anything to get your kids. I can’t stress that enough!!

Stop making it so easy for them by putting your family on your car!! and please for the love of God
DON’T SHARE YOUR NAMES!!
If you have a friend or family member who has these, please tell them the dangers of this. If you have them, please understand the danger this presents for you and your family. We don’t need to live in a state of fear, and I’m by no means wanting to make you be in one, but I want you to be aware. Aware of what’s around you. Not to be naïve to the fact nothing could ever happen. And not to be so forthcoming with your personal information for all to see.

Its called “personal” for a reason.

this concludes my public service announcement

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30 in 30 part deux

Remember the ridiculous wisdom I bestowed upon you last week? Things that I have no doubt you never knew or imagined and were eternally grateful to me for telling you??
same picture..going for a theme here…

I have more!

Technically I have every intention of spouting off 30 bits of wisdom {collectively} that I myself have gathered over the years, but I literally have stopped just shy of 30… read: 16

If you have any wisdom that you’d like to share, feel free to share in the comments and I’d be more than happy to take it and declare it as my own.

Alrighty then, to continue

~ no matter what your most embarrassing moment in life is, you will always have another that will surpass it’s embarrassment level.

~ you should always sign up for your favorite store’s emails so they can send you free stuff on your birthday

~ as the years go by, your body will slowly begin to reject your favorite foods leaving you wondering if your world is coming to an end. You will put your favorite food in your mouth and the saliva alone will make your stomach rumble in unhappiness.

~ once your body revolts, you’ll be forced to find all new and healthy things to eat and realize you’re much happier when you do.

~ when you find delicious recipes, its imperative you share it with the world.
Grilled Lemon Rosemary Chicken by Jamie Dean. Its an absolute keeper in my book. I served it over rice and of course, my broccoli. Oh and its incredibly easy!
 
~ working out will become essential to maintain your weight and with each year, you’ll need to workout more and more because what you used to do won’t be enough to maintain as it did before.

~ its been proven by me, in the state of California, the highway patrol have a 15 miles over “rule”. If you keep your speed right under 15 miles over the speed limit, you will not get pulled over. Example: 55mph. Keep it at 69. 65mph. Keep it at 79… simple, right? The moment you go over. You will be pulled over. I got pulled over for going 81 in a 65.
(he even showed me the radar gun in his car) and he even told me over 80, he gets.

I’ve encountered many a wife of a cop who have disputed my 15 miles over rule because.. “their husbands don’t do that.” And I heartily disagree because they don’t see when their husbands are passing me as I’m going 68 in a 55 flashing their hands in the “five” “five” motion (telling me its 55), and they don’t see them flash their lights at me as they go by as a warning…and on the 1 rare occasion I did get pulled over for going 70 in a 55, the cop and I struck up a conversation only to have him end with, ‘I’m not going to give you a ticket. You were only going 70.’

So the theory has been proven time and time again. Most recently yesterday on my way to work, as I was flashed the “five” “five” hand sign as he passed me going 68.

As most may know, I do have plenty of ‘research’ in this matter of getting pulled over as I have had around….10 speeding tickets and maybe 18 pull overs but since implementing this method, I haven’t been pulled over in over 3 years. That’s a big deal.

Who can top my amount of pull overs? Surely one of you has a higher number…surely.

Oh and don’t forget, your wisdom will become my wisdom, so share the love. :)

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30 in 30

We’re getting closer, my friends.

In my wise old age, I feel it’s my duty to bestow some things..if not wisdom upon you, the readers of this blog. This wisdom does not come lightly and shouldn’t be taken as such but rather to be pondered over, reflected upon and implemented into your own lives as I have every confidence, it will enrich them fully.

When I thought of doing this at the beginning of the month, I didn’t realize how hard it would be to think of 30 pieces of wisdom. Guess I’m not as wise as I figured myself to be, so we’ll start small. Sound good?

~ I heard it in my teens and in my 20’s and the whole time I thought, ‘I’ll have plenty of time.’ Moisturize the neck! Don’t skip this vital step in your beauty regimen! I did my face day and night but always thought I didn’t need to focus on the neck and ladies, let me tell you, I’m noticing those neck lines coming through. And while you’re at it, move on down to the décolletage, because that shouldn’t be skipped either.

~ There is a chance when your career ends unexpectedly before you’re 30, there may be a very good possibility you won’t know what you want to be. And as hard as it is to believe, its ok. Keep trusting God.

~ It is more than okay to NOT believe a Doctor when he tells you something’s wrong. You have cavities?? Don’t believe him, go to another dentist and get checked out without saying a word and see if HE finds cavities. We already know about my surgery issues from the ‘bad dr’…get a 2nd opinion and a 3rd!

~ When alone eating dinner, its ok to use your accent pillow as a table when eating on the couch.

~ No matter how sharp you think your brain is, write everything down! If its not written down, it will never happen! I live for notes, lists, calendar reminders, anything that will get me to remember that I was supposed to do something these days!

~ Money will never buy happiness. I was miserable when I was making loads of money. Now making barely a fraction of it, I haven’t been happier. Do what you love and what you want. Don’t let money or the idea of the perfect job (in everyone’s eyes) stand in the way of yours and your family’s happiness.

~ As the years go by, you will find yourself having more and more mannerisms like your mom and when you do them, you’ll stop surprised but see that it’s ok because you love your mom and honored you do things like her.

~ Allergies for foods will all of sudden surface where they didn’t before. Avocados, spinach and melons will give you reactions without warning.

~ Its actually considered cool (and safe) to look over your shoulder before getting in the other lane. You know, the look all the way over your shoulder thing? As opposed to just darting your eyes to the left… believe it or not you won’t look lame doing it.

~ Stop crossing your legs! Crossing your legs will give you varicose veins! It cuts the circulation off and that’s the last thing we ladies want are those deep blue bulging lines! I learned this in my early 20’s and haven’t crossed them since. Hard habit to break but absolutely worth it.

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Its only a number

In many ways, I act my 30 years. I’m mature (most of the time), I now hold a secure job, (for any newcomers, I’m not a dead beat. this is what I used to do) and I don’t party, get wasted or go clubbing.

Yet, in so many ways I feel so so very young.

I didn’t realize years ago, that at 30, I’d still feel like a baby. I thought 30 was old. It was the age a person was in their ‘prime’. When I hear someone say they’re 35, I think they’re so much older than me because I feel as if I have a long way to go.

I’m getting wrinkles, no doubt about that. And definitely more gray hair, but when I look in the mirror, I still see this young girl that looks all sorts of gawky. Every hair washing night, I put my hair in braided pigtails and stare at myself marveling over how I’m supposed to be ‘old’.

I’m 30 but I still sport the ‘tails’ during the day….
I’m 30 and I still get called a dork. And still get asked if I’m in college.

A blogger said, she read an early 20’s blogger say she believed 30 was middle aged. Now that’s plain immature. I don’t know if she was joking when she said it or completely serious but it got me thinking that its really only a number and as corny as it sounds, you’re as young {or old} as you let yourself feel.

I don’t know what point I’ll start to really feel my age. I hope no time soon, but at some point, I know it’ll creep up on me.

For now, I’m enjoying being 30 and knowing its an incredibly young age. That what I thought 30 would be when I was younger is even better than what I could have imagined. Its not a doomsday number. Its not depressing or life ending. To me, I see it as a time for maturity.

I had a great run at my 20’s, accomplished a lot even, but 30’s is something entirely different to me. I’m still figuring it out but I look forward to what’s to come. I know I’ll still be gawky and most of the time awkward but it’ll be fun none the less to see what they’ll bring.

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All you marrieds, listen up!

And non…as I fall in that category and didn’t quite have a choice on hearing this.

I didn’t ask to know this. I didn’t inquire to hear and be told. It was without being fully prepared, dropped on me like a bucket of ice water.

A certain 78 year old woman, who will remain nameless, just so happened to inform me of a little nugget of information that I will probably never forget. As it is seared into my brain.

You may have always wondered…as I admit I have; and never felt it was appropriate to ask. One of those things that you always felt you should keep to yourself and thought you’d just figure out when the time came for you. Well ladies, I’m here today to put your minds at rest.
{and perhaps make it a little uncomfortable}
No longer will you ever have to wonder about such a thing at your young age. Never will you ever have to question if its so, because I’m about to tell you its all going to be okay!

Sex feels the exact same way when you’re in your 70’s as it does in your 20’s.
via

::blinking in wide eyed silence::

Bet you didn’t see that coming.

Yes my friends, I was told this. I was told other things, but I’ll refrain for your benefit. {you’re welcome}

Any way, so umm, yeah. There you have it. Nothing to worry about when you get older…if you’re enjoying it now, sounds like you’ll be enjoying it then.

::cough cough::

Ok, I’m a little uncomfortable now…

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Happy 100 to me

So this marks my 100th post. Insane in the membrane…Insane in the brain!!

Ok, tell me you all just sang that along with me, so I don’t feel like a complete dork.

What will I do today to commemorate my 100th post, you ask? Well, I think I’ll do what most do (I’m such a follower) and talk about myself, of course! haha, I kid. I kid..sorta

Since my very first post back in February, I went from my 1 friend following me to 34 wonderful people willing to read about lil’ ol’ me. Ya’ll make me smile with each and every comment you leave me. Cross my heart it’s true!

Since I feel I’m full of wisdom (no, not full of hot air…WISDOM) I felt I should share some with you so you too can feel what I feel daily.

- When you spend decent money on patio furniture, take a little bit better care of the cushions, so you can actually utilize the furniture.


Tears me up every time I see my sad chairs sitting outside all lonesome, wondering why I have been so negligent.

…did you think it would be blogging wisdom? Alright alright, I guess I can do that too.

- If you have a blogger account, check to see if your email address is enabled. This let’s me and everyone else respond to your comment you’ve thoughtfully taken the time to leave. Here’s how you do it: go into your dashboard and click “edit profile” beside your picture.  Then check the box next to “show my email address” (if it isn’t checked) and BAM! now we can respond to your comment or question you left.

It’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. Promise.

-  Break up your paragraphs. If you see my first, second and third posts that I ever wrote, you’d see how big my paragraphs were. Loooong and kinda hard to read. (albeit good stuff )
But if you shorten your paragraphs down, we the reader have a much better experience with your blog. And it really helps the eyes too.

Then there’s the obvious:
- No music
- Get the pop up comment box
- Remove the funky word we have to write. (now, I just did this to test it out. It doesn’t bother me all that much to type it in, but apparently it bothers A LOT of other bloggers and some won’t even leave comments because of it. They claim you’ll get a lot more comments when you remove it. Eh, I guess we’ll see.)
- Simplify things

And then for me, personally, I like when the print isn’t itty bitty or in such a pale color, my eyes strain to read the print. OR the background is all black. For some reason, all black backgrounds REALLY hurt my eyes. I’ll generally leave the blog immediately if I see that. As good as it may be, it’s not worth the pain.

I better stop there. If I continue then ya’ll will have as much wisdom as me and then, what fun would that be for me? Am I right?

Thanks everyone for a great 5 months of blogging!! I’ve loved getting to know you all!

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