I still get botox

I had my fourth botox treatment this past Thursday, and it still is the best thing I’ve ever done, ever! …next to laser hair removal.

In July of 2012, I talked about getting botox for the first time. Since then, like clockwork, I’ve gotten treatment every 6-7 months. I always make sure I do two treatments each year to be sure my insurance covers the second treatment 100%. (deductible having been met at that point and all.)

After the first treatment, even though the Dr. said it generally lasts a good six months before it begins to wear off, I noticed within month two it fading. I was disappointed but I knew that when it came to medical treatments and me, I’m always in the small percentile that has the extreme or opposite desire. And this was no exception. Even though, by the end of month three it had completely worn off, I still stretched it out to month six before going back in for treatment number two.

Little did I know that the moment it wore off I could have gone in for another treatment but it didn’t matter since I was getting round two of injections at that point.

After the second treatment, I noticed it lasted longer. Almost to four months and this only served to make me happy. The doctor did say that with continued treatments, the time frame will stretch more and more and thankfully, I fell in line with this. By the third, it stretched to five months and I can only hope this fourth treatment will go to a full 6 months.

I still highly recommend this treatment and am a huge advocate for it, which is why I thought I’d offer an update one and a half years later. If you have a dermatologist who is as amazing as mine and willing to go the extra mile to prove to your insurance company that this is a medical necessity, insurance will cover the treatments entirely. Which is a huge comfort on this currently diminished pocket book. I still remember describing my ‘need’ to the nurse and once done the guy said there was no doubt it was medically necessary. (Lest you think I or the doctor’s office is tricking insurance to pay.)

As long as I can, I will continue to get these injections. The confidence its given me is tremendous. With all my travels lately, it’s such a relief knowing I don’t have to be concerned with the sweating or smelling anymore. A huge relief! If anyone reading this is in the Central Valley of California, I would be happy to give my doctor’s information. She’s one of those where I’ll gladly drive hours to see because she’s that good.

Since I talked about it last year, has anyone looked into getting it done themselves? Or actually begun treatments?

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A thank you and a follow up

I have to say THANK YOU! Thank you to each and every one of you who are cheering me on. You all are such a great support. I know I’ll be coming back to everyone’s comments in twitter, instagram and here when I’m neck deep in homework to be reminded that I have a great cheering section.

First day went alright. I could certainly use someone skilled in the ways of Chemistry to step forward and teach me everything they know…in baby steps, because that’s Greek to me, but I hope to get in a ‘learning’ groove to nail these classes.

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Once in awhile I’ll get someone asking how the ol’ feet are doing so… at the beginning of the week, I had to go see a doctor for my disability. It was a review of sorts, where the State hired him to do an independent assessment to determine I am in fact still disabled and able to keep my benefits. It turned out to be quite the visit, I have to say. I was in the room with the doctor for an hour and a half. That has to be the longest I’ve ever had a dr. in the room.

He asked so many questions and was incredibly detailed and left me with a lot to think about in regards to my retirement, which I can’t quite go into but this guy seemed like a really good dr who knows his stuff. Whereas the dr. I saw years ago who I feel is largely the reason I’m in the condition I’m in, was not.

Hindsight..always 20/20.

The worst part of the whole visit was him being unable to tell me any of his thoughts on my condition. Even unable to refer a dr. to me as it would be a conflict of interest to the job he was hired to do. The only thing he would say was any dr. who got hold of my file wouldn’t want anything to do with me and my problems.

Well, that’s a comfort.

Maybe he isn’t such a great doctor after all…

Now I get to wait to get word from the State on whether he deems me still incapable of doing the job to maintain my disability benefits. I’m praying so because this girl can’t handle the idea of losing her benefits.

Has anyone ever had to go through this? Going on disability and then being under review after a few years? Preferably in California but would still love to hear feedback if anyone’s gone through it in their state.

completely unrelated but had to share the hummingbird escaping the wind the other day.

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To the doctor I go

Apparently yesterday was my turn for the drama as I had to leave work to go to the doctor that I didn’t know I was going to see that day. I’m not a ‘run to the doctor’ kind of person. I like to wait it out as long as possible and see if it’ll go away on its own.  Its more cost effective that way. And generally, it goes away on its own.

But this time, it’s only slowly progressed with each day. If you’ve had the pleasure of being in my ‘whiny’ circle, you’d already know I’ve been complaining lately… a lot, and for the past week at least (that I can remember). That’s another problem. I can’t remember when my issues started. Any way, it resulted in blood being drawn and results to wait on. And the biggest bonus: going home early.

Only weird moment (or one of them any way) was the Physician’s Assistant saying, “one of the signs is anorexia.” She quickly changed it to ‘loss of appetite’ after I stared at her but her choice of words was odd. I’m far from anorexic and anorexic makes me think of not eating for days, weeks and months. Not going 6 hours without eating because it bothers you.

I will now await the test results in hopes they actually find something. Am I the only one that would rather them find something wrong than see everything as ‘fine’?

This truly has been quite the week. I’ll be thankful I can rest a bit over the weekend and hopefully get a call with the results. I hope you have a great weekend with no quick trips to the quick care or anywhere else medical.

Happy weekend to you! If you feel like praying that whatever I have goes away or is easily treatable, I wouldn’t mind. :)

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I got botox

via kissmekwik

It’s true. It’s true, I got botox, and I loooooooove that I did!

I suppose I should explain since I’ll be bursting many bubbles here. It wasn’t botox cosmetic, but just botox. Did you know there’s 2 different kinds? “Botox cosmetic” is the face freezing muscle kind. “Botox” is for everything else. Feel free to read all about it on the mayo clinic's website.

So why would I possibly need botox and why would I ever go through with such a horrible thing?? {as some may see it} Because this girl here has suffered with an embarrassing thing called excessive sweating for over 15 years. When I say excessive sweating…I mean excessive sweating. Running down the side of my body excessive.

Paint a nice picture for you? You’re welcome.

And with excessive sweating comes its morbidly embarrassing constant companion…smell. I did everything I could think of to help this issue. I switched to men’s deodorant for years, but it did little to help, though it was far better than women’s…and cheaper too! Seriously, I didn’t realize we pay twice the amount for 1/2 the size for women’s deodorant! What a crock! – I digress.

I used the extremely painful ‘stop sweating’ roll ons w/lots of aluminum that left me burning for days. I did everything imaginable… remember G-man and my first date? With the napkins?? Yeah, who wants to smell on the first date!!?

So when I talked with my amazing Dermatologist about my ever so sensitive issue, she assured me botox would fix everything! I was quickly on board. Others in my life *cough* G-man *cough* weren’t so keen on the idea. But when a lot of our relationship revolves around me asking him to do the ‘smell test’ <that’s love, people!> …. I felt it was worth whatever risks there may be, because a girl can only take so much humiliation asking and changing of clothes, sometimes up to 3 times a day.

The confidence is pretty much non existent at that point.

Fast forward to the day. There I lay in the chair, with each underarm plastered with betadine and baking soda with 2 lamps pointed on each to promote as much sweating as possible. My view for over an hour.

Finally it was time. It was incredibly easy to get done, pokes in the left..pokes in the right, and bam all done. Virtually pain free. The botox weakens the action of the sweat glands, in case you’re wondering.

~I took pictures of my armpit afterward but I realized you probably have no desire to see an armpit, so I spared you. you’re welcome~

She said it would take up to a week to see the results and they'd be subtle, but friends, let me tell you by the next day I could tell. It is amazing! When I knew there should be “my” sweat, there wasn’t. Even by the end of the day, I still had a clean smell. I can’t even express to you how thrilled I was.

Do I still sweat? Yes. but as a normal person would, as I like to think of it. Its been 3 weeks and my confidence is through the roof. I’m back on women’s deodorant and enjoy smelling like a girl again. I enjoy being able to leave my arms at my side and not fear what’s brewing, or raise them high in the air and not have to do the quick smell test to see if I need to put them back down.

I’m beyond relieved I got this done. Its needed every 6 months, and all I can say is I’ll be enjoying every day of these 6 months until I get it done again and I’ll be enjoying those 6 months that follow.

The ultimate test was the plane ride to Milwaukee. Normally one of the worst moments for me as I have to take a back up shirt to change midway, but I passed with flying colors, I couldn’t believe the difference. I even stayed in the same top until 1am the next morning, I was blown away and truly thankful for this procedure.
                                                                                           my plane outfit


Tell me:
Would you ever get either botox? Which one?

Are you against getting any form of botox done?

There’s many different medical conditions that botox helps with, its not the superficial reasons many associate with it. Here's just a few.

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You’re so vain

By you, I mean me.

I didn’t realize I was SO vain. I mean, I knew I was a bit…who isn’t? {let’s be real} but I felt incredibly vain on Friday when I went to my Dermatologist for a follow up on the little skin issue I had.

I'll be honest, I fully expected her to walk in the room, see my face all happy and clear and her declare that I look fabulous, hug me and beam at the progress. {ok, maybe not hug me…}

Instead, I got nothing.
::ho hum::

So, I graciously moved on from the awkwardness that was, a room without praise, and proceeded to go down my list of random questions pertaining to skin. I won’t embarrass myself bore you with the types of questions but we honed in on 2 itty bitty bumps on my left eyelid and by my right eye. So little that no one in my existence has ever taken notice but big enough that I see and feel them daily and believe everyone can see them from 10 feet away.

Because of that, it was imperative they be removed immediately…especially since it’s the end of the year and I’ve met my deductible…ok, I met my deductible by June, but I know you understand!

While I’m on the table being numbed up, I couldn’t help but feel incredibly vain that I was getting this done. As the nurse/helper guy was injecting my eyes to numb the skin, he said the ‘pinch’ {which I practically didn’t feel} was just how getting botox felt and I said I could totally do it then, since it didn’t hurt at all. Which made me actually consider doing it. …for like .05 seconds. *I have no interest in actually getting botox…for that purpose.

As it turned out, a skin tag {eeeww, gross} was removed from beside my right eye and a cyst like thingy {eewww, even grosser} was removed from my left eyelid, leaving me with bruised and scabbed eyes. {sweet}

I will now proceed to justify my actions to you..ok, and to myself:
I did this because…
- who wants bumps on their face? Not I.
- I knew, over time they would have grown and enlarged.
- please see first justification.

The doctor did unfortunately tell me that I’m prone to these here bumps and to expect them as I continue to age… At that point, I told her she had pepper in her teeth.

Ok, I told her that before she decided to inflict permanent emotional scars on me.

Do you tell perfect strangers they have food in their teeth?
Sometimes, I do but sometimes I chicken out.
I did wait for the nurse/helper guy to leave the room first before doing it so she wouldn’t be completely embarrassed.

Maybe, I’ll just grow facial hair like this guy…then no one will see my lady humps…

via pinterest

can I just say this looks just like an inmate I used to have in my building, years ago? I almost couldn’t put this picture up because I didn’t want to think about the guy, but its too funny not to.

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Mushy mind

I have a confession.


I told my Dermatologist and the Physician’s Assistant in the room, the story of how G-man and I met. They were impressed.

The appointment was essentially over, the Dr. was telling me all the meds I needed to take and how to take them; when I looked at her with a blank look and said, ‘if you heard the conversation that I had with him (pointing at the PA) you would know that I can’t comprehend a word you’re saying. You need to treat me like a child and write every single instruction down on paper.’

The conversation went something like this:

Him: How’s things going today?
Me: I’m. it’s. well. doing. you? <I kid you not.>
Him: stares at me in disbelief.
Me: stares at him in fear.
Both: burst out laughing.

After explaining to her that I had a redeye flight from HI, landing at 5am in LAX, then driving 3 hours home on zero sleep, she understood. And then started the questions…’why were you in HI?’

So I told the story of us. Also telling the story of Corrections and how I left that, and what I do now and how it’s drastically difference. Night and day. Boy job, girl job.

I had them staring at me, enthralled for a good 5 minutes. They didn’t budge, didn’t look at their watches, just stared at me while I told my stories.

Talk about a captive audience. Who knew I could tell such a great story on no sleep in over 24 hours?

She wrote out all my instructions (good dr.) and they left the room in wonder.

But I feel bad…because I told 2 complete strangers, whom I had just been introduced to 5 minutes earlier, the story of how G-man and I met, when I haven’t even told you.

Its not a conspiracy, I promise. It’s in the works, not 100% complete, but it’s coming and will be coming soon. I know some have asked. Just hold on a little longer for me, please. = )

On a completely related/unrelated note: I’ve noticed a .5% improvement on my skin since taking the meds for a week. This makes me very very happy!!

I hope you lovelies have a wonderful weekend. Happy Friday!!

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I’m thankful for 27

Good day everyone! Can we all realize that August is fast coming to an end and I’m not sure that it didn’t just start?! Craziness. School is starting back up this week for some and all I hear is madness going on with everyone getting back to their normal scheduled. And by everyone, I mean those with kiddies and you teachers out there.

There’s absolutely zero madness going on around me. How about you? Is madness abounding??

So this week, I’m making up for my lack of thanks from last and found tons. Crazy when I actually focus on it throughout the week and make it a point to remember.

I’m thankful for

- calling the billing department for a doctor’s bill to inquire about 2 bills and having her, without even asking, take 20% off the largest bill. Apparently they do that, just cause and if you don’t call, you won’t get it. (note to self, always call before paying from here on out!)

- dear sweet Katie who told me through twitter that sometimes hospitals will write off your entire bill if you call and explain ‘your situation’ and sometimes they’ll do it without you even explaining! (note to self, always always call to ‘explain my situation’ to reduce ridiculous medical bills)

- driving safely to everywhere I needed to go, and the generosity of my friend letting me stay at her place for the night.

- getting a good report from the doc and his stopping me from working out (that I planned on doing this week). Instead he’s ordered me to physical therapy for 6 weeks and strict “only walking” exercise.

- being able to walk. I started today around the track..and I admit, I walked up the bleachers too. (can’t help it) but the Dr. wants me in high heels. Yep, you heard correctly! He wants me to wear heels again (crazy, I know…it’s been 10 years) so if you happen to be following me on pinterest, you’ll notice my ‘per doctors orders’ board. hehe

- my sweet friend that you’ve seen with the adorable pregnant belly, had her beautiful baby girl.

- you all for your sweet words last week. Thank you!

- impromptu wine with my neighbor on her balcony, this weekend. It was a great evening chatting and staring at the stars.

- having the energy to scrub down my entire apartment the day after my migraine. And I mean a thorough scrub down. It’s so nice being in a super clean home and I still have no idea where it came from.

- I told you I had a lot this week! I hope you all were able to find things to be thankful for too and had yourselves a great weekend. Oh and by the way, here’s my ‘new hair’ read: darker.

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I’d be happy to drive hours to see you

I went on a road trip. One of those whirlwind road trips.

I drove 3 1/2 hours for a 5 minute doctor’s visit only to then jump back in the car and drive 3 1/2 hours along the CA coast (which, I’ll never complain driving the coastline) to a friend’s house so that I can see my hair stylist in that area to get my hair finally cut and colored! I got to stay the night and jump back into my car to drive 2 1/2 hours home.

I’m exhausted.

Am I a weirdo that my closest hairstylist is 2 1/2 hours away? And that I’ll drive there just to get my haircut? It helps having friends there that let me stay the night to break it up, but I’ve done it all in one day before.

I’ve mentioned in the past that I’ve moved a lot. And everywhere I moved, I found a new stylist. Well, since I’ve lived here I haven’t bothered to look for one since..well for many reasons and still go to my guy 2 1/2 hours away or when I’m in HI, to my girl there, who (don’t tell my guy…) does a better job than him. ssssshh

Let me ask you a question. How do you find a new stylist? What’s your method to find one you’ll trust??

Whenever I move to a new area, I look at women in the malls or wherever I am and if I really like their cut or color I’ll go up and ask who does their hair. When I moved to San Luis Obispo years ago, I did just that. Her hair was so cute, so I went to the guy. My first guy cutting my hair. To say I was nervous was an understatement.

Let me give everyone a lesson when going to a new stylist for the 1st time. Never ever ever change the style of your hair. Only get a trim so if they do horrible, it shouldn’t make a big difference.

Clue #1 that it was going to be bad cut: I said I wanted a change and everything was coming out uneven and chunky.
Clue #2 that it was going to be a bad cut: He begins to cut me bangs (because I wanted that “change”) while I’m facing the mirror and he’s sitting next to me on the side.

Are you picturing that? He’s sitting sideways next to me cutting my bangs while I face away from him.

I was screaming inside. Needless to say, it was the worst haircut I’ve ever had in my life. I even documented it, as I do with every new cut. I go home and take a picture (but I can’t find it anywhere!) So after being forced to walk around for a week with the haircut I found a great one who fixed it as best as she could. That I have a picture of!


But unfortunately, this girl turned sour after a year, butchered my hair and I had to find another. Ever encounter that? Best stylist ever, recommended several friends to her, but out of the blue, turns horrible and gives us the worst haircuts!!

I found another, but something happened and ended up w/my current guy. Boy was I nervous going to another guy, especially when I found out he was the boyfriend of the 3rd stylist!! I felt like I betrayed her, but he did such a better job.

Any way that brings me to now, fresh cut and color! I can’t wait to show it to you all. I can’t tell you how long I’ve been wanting to color my hair. Its been 1 1/2 years since I’ve colored it. – guess I just told you.

But I’ve been wondering if I want bangs again. My stylist wants to cut them really bad, but I’m just not sold on having to deal with them again, especially since I can’t run in 2 weeks later for a bang trim since I’m not close. So, I need your opinion. Which do you prefer??
Bangs??


Or, no bangs??

aaaand, go!

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Me and 2 pregnant women walked into a bar

Ok, not really.

Happy Friday my fellow awesome people! It’s going to be a GREEEEEAAAAT weekend. Eek! I can’t even tell you how excited I am for tomorrow. I’m seeing a certain someone at a certain place and I can’t wait to tell you all about a certain day spent at a certain location.

Now, I’m sure you’ve all been dying to know how the tootsies are doing, well apparently so is my dr. He texted me yesterday asking how they were doing…yep, my doctor texts me. At his rate, he better. haha Any way, I gave him the cliff notes text version of, ‘they swell less, almost walking normal and the stitches are still in the top and bottom of each scar and in pretty snug.’

To which he replies and I quote: Probably the heat causing the swelling and the nerves quieting down. Let me know when you are down here so I can see you.

I wrote, that I’d let him know and he replied. Thanks!

To you, nothing major with that..to me?? The fact that he didn’t talk about the stitches and that he wants to see me… is speaking volumes to me. The last time we talked about the stitches was 4 weeks ago where he said it would take a few weeks for them to dissolve and fall away. Well they haven’t. They’re still there. So it looks like I’m going to have to make a trip to Los Angeles.

Ugh!

Now in funner news, if you’re following me in twitter (wait what? you aren’t and wanna follow me in twitter..) ok, click here and follow!  then you saw that I wore #5 #6 and #10 yesterday! I loved it. I felt so fun. I even had awesome hair too. (rare since I haven’t cut my hair since March…I know I know…) so I was thrilled that I actually went out into the world.


My sweet and adorable and absolutely hilarious friend, who just so happens to be 37 weeks pregnant, invited me to a maternity photo shoot she did yesterday and I brought my camera…so I’ll be showing those later next week, but let me give you a little sneak peak. It was sooo much fun.

I had such a blast helping her. I can’t wait to show you more next week!! She pretty much gave me the ‘want to shoot people for a living’ bug.

Anyone in my area want to be my free guinea pigs??

Alrighty my friends, have yourselves a merry little weekend, let your hearts be light. (yes, it’s a Christmas song, but it totally applies!)

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Once upon a surgery, part II

catch up on part I 



When the Dr. talked to my mom to give her an update, he explained that patients such as myself usually are experiencing “phantom pains” and not actual pain. Since the nerves are removed leading into my toes he fully believed that it was going to be the case for me; to feel that phantom pain.

And then he cut open my left foot.

Inside, between the 2nd and 3rd toe was a very large neuroma. Then saw between the 3rd and 4th toe another very large neuroma. At that point, he realized the pain I’d been feeling the past year was very real. He realized something more. That there’s no way 2 very large neuromas can grow that fast in a years time. And there’s no way a neuroma can be there, let alone that large, after supposedly being removed 14 months prior.

He moves to the right foot. Where I’ve already had 3 surgeries. Upon opening it up, he sees my nerves, completely intact. Completely connected to everything they’re all supposed to be connected to. Showing no signs of ever being cut. He sees the neuroma leading into my 2nd and 3rd toe. Also seeing a stump neuroma between my 3rd and 4th toe (the only one showing it had been surgically removed).

I’ve had 4 prior surgeries “removing” neuromas. After each surgery I’ve had numbness indicating that nerves have in fact been removed, yet here he is stating all but 1 nerve shows absolutely NO signs of ever being cut into.

What am I supposed to think? How does a person react to that information?? I’m just as G-man says he is when I told him everything; dumbfounded.

Dumbfounded at the idea that Dr. P never removed anything. Never took care of the problem. Only cutting open my feet to do what? Stare inside and say, ‘yup, they’re there alright. Let’s close it up and tell her we took care of them.’

I don’t know what to think. Dr. W absolutely refuses to point the finger at Dr. P. The whole ‘doctor can’t talk bad about other doctors’ code, yet says there’s no way the nerves could have looked like they did with having surgery just 14 months ago.

How is this possible? Why have I been numb all these years? How can a dr. be so completely inept in his job? I truly do not know what to think.

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Once upon a surgery, part I

I’m a storyteller, regardless of what some may say, I’m awesome at them. Its true. Okay, sometimes it’s true.

I realized something through this whole process. Some things aren’t always as they seem. What once you thought, may not be how it really is. Just because someone talks something up, doesn’t mean its great and worth it in the end.

For instance, the surgical suite. Let’s just say it was a waste-of-money. I’ve had my surgeries in a hospital and I’ve had them in surgical centers. The difference??? One’s in a hospital, one’s in a surgical center paid for by doctors.

The End.

I was the only patient, as they claimed, so therefore I was treated as if I was the only patient. (easy enough). The surgeon asked what kind of music I wanted in the O.R…uumm, why do I care when I’ll be passed out? So, I said whatever they wanted. The nurse was nice. Even gave me the best I.V. I’ve EVER had. In the wrist even (my 1st) and it was completely pain free.

All the other dr.s were nice but really. Really! What was I thinking it was going to be like?? Grandiose, I suppose. And grandiose, it was not. What WAS grandiose was the cost of it.

I digress.

I was too embarrassed to whip my massively big camera out so I only got me in the bathroom minutes before the surgery.
yep, that’s me looking awesome at 6:30 in the morning.

After 3 deep breathes, I was out to the world and they went to town on my feet. By the time I came to it was 2 hours later and the nurse was talking to me. Then the Dr. came over and told me everything that happened. All I remember is I stared at him dumbfounded by his report. I asked questions even though we both knew I wouldn’t recall any, if not just pieces of the conversation. My mind was reeling.

After informing me they gave me an ‘ankle block’ (which I have to say, is the best thing ever) explaining that they completely numbed me from my ankles down to reduce my pain (crazy, scary and awesome all at the same time), they wheeled me out to the car with instructions to rest for the next couple of days.

As my mom drove me home, I kept asking her the same questions over and over, doing everything to comprehend what the dr. told me and if what he had said was really true.

And why doctors feel the need to cover for other doctors…

ps. I have some exciting news, but I’m going to wait to make sure it really is as exciting as I’m thinking, to share. Nice cliffhanger, right? Sorry.

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I’m thankful for 19

I’m alive. Were you nervous?? I’m plastered on the couch (really, that’s nothing new) but more forced than before since walking is a trial for me. But the weekend couldn’t have been better since my sweet and wonderful mom was here to do just about everything for me.

’just about’ because..a girl has to retain some dignity here!

If you saw on twitter, the Dr. told me some things that are making me scratch my head in confusion but all in all everything went well and over the next day or so, I’ll go over what he said.

For now, it’s a thanks giving day.

I’m thankful for:
- my mom. She drove 3 1/2 hours back. Cooked from 6am-6pm and froze it all so I could have meals to eat for days. Cleaned every dish, brought me anything I needed, scolded me when I did too much and loved on me every minute possible. I love you Mom!
yumminess that I devoured the first night. You know you wish you had these boots, right?


- the Dr. for removing every last neuroma I have and the calls he’s made each and every day to see how I’m recovering.

- my friends and family who are quick to offer any help at the drop of a hat.

- all of YOU for your sweet words and thoughtful prayers. I felt each and every one of them and I can’t thank you enough for taking time to lift me up to Him.

- the cooler weather, long naps in the middle of the day and pain medication.

- the Lord for allowing me the chance to have this surgery after the defeat of hearing from multiple doctors that nothing can ever be done; will ever be fixed. That I’ll have to live with all the pain for life. He brought me to Dr. Wang that gave me hope and the chance to be ‘normal’ again.

- and finally G-man who pushed me to not give up. Who knew there was someone out there who could do the job. Who always had the hope and determination to make me better and do it at any cost. I love him so much!

Romans 5:3-5
And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;
and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

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I’m thankful for 17

Could it have been a nicer weekend? Time with my family couldn’t have been better. I was able to get my niece and nephew fix, which was nice. I hope you all had an equally nice weekend.

Today starts another crazy busy week, only to lead to another crazy busy week, but I’ll just bring myself back to today and not look too far into the chaos.

I’m thankful for great coffee time with a friend. And more that she chose McDonalds and not Starbucks. Sorry all you Starbucks lovers, I can’t quite stand it anymore.

I’m thankful for a weekend with my family. It’s been a little bit too long since I’ve seen them so it was nice to visit, relax and enjoy the time I had with them, and see the wonderful vegetable and fruit garden my mom’s growing.

Let me ask you, do you consider a tomato a vegetable or a fruit??

I’m thankful for the hope of ‘happy’ feet again. G-man had and happily took the opportunity to say, “I told you so” with knowing this Dr. would provide the hope I needed to feel it was possible and I now have the hope and can’t wait to see what the recovery will hold for me.

I’m thankful for wonderful support from friends and family for the upcoming surgery. All the well wishes I received last week really do mean a lot to me. Thank you!

I’m thankful for a confident relaxed doctor who has to be one of the easiest doctors I’ve talked to.

I’m thankful for the 2 hour nap I got 5 minutes after I woke up and made my bed. I got as far as putting my socks on to work out and next thing I pitched over on my pillows and was out. Woke up just long enough to fold the blanket over like a taco and had the best nap ever. It was needed apparently.

Happy Monday to everyone. Let’s start it off right, shall we? Enjoy this beautiful weather!

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15 days to doomsday

Wait, what? It already came and went?! Dang, I’m always the last to know these things.

I guess it’ll just have to be 15 days until I have surgery again.

15 days and counting! Can I get a woot woot!!? I’m woot wootin over here.
(haha, the words‘woot wootin’ are making me laugh)

Friday, June 24th is the BIG day, down in Santa Monica. My mommy is going to take me. I love moms, don’t you?

Can I just say, I’m kinda looking forward to it? Yeah yeah of course because it could actually fix all the pain I’ve been having for over a year now but the REAL reason…because they said I’ll be in a ‘surgical suite.’ Am I that pretentious?

No, I’m not. However… their office said my surgery will be in a surgical center where they dote on you as if you’re the only patient there. They actually refer to it as a surgical suite. Who wouldn’t want surgery knowing that little bit of information!? It’s currently scheduled at 0730, but you know I’ll be changing it to later…because he said I could change it to whatever time I want, because, well it’s in the suite.

I think I’m feeling a bit too prissy right now…

You can count on me taking pictures while I’m there. During my conscious moments of course.

I really can’t wait to see just how different this whole process will be. From start to finish, I’m on pins and needles with anticipation.

that’s a slight lie and a slight joke and a slight bit of sarcasm…all rolled into one little sentence. I’m on FIR-AH!

KABOOM!

And this is me fizzling out…


Forgive my analogies. I’m feeling exceptionally funny today.

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I’m thankful for 15

Monday Monday, how do you do? I’m oddly saying that to people… ‘how do you do?’ Weird, right? Sometimes out of the blue I’ll start saying random sentences and have a hard time stopping. Any way…

Sorry I’ve been a little absent on all your blogs, the end of last week was so hectic and then the weekend was 100% rest. I put myself on a bit of a computer break and it was so nice ‘getting away’ from it. It’s Monday now, so, new week of nothing. I have SO many pictures from my week that I’m “editing”, ok, like I know how to edit pictures, but I’m learning PSE9 and having fun watching my pictures change and can’t wait to show you them.

I’m thankful for safe travels to everywhere I went. Los Angeles, Northridge, Santa Maria, Paso Robles and home. Still recovering.

I’m thankful for my kind friends who let me stay with them for each trip. I felt like I was overstaying but neither of them showed it.

I’m thankful for being able to witness my friend’s accomplishment Wednesday.


I’m thankful for getting squeezed in to see Dr. P. Thursday, although it left me frustrated and annoyed. But I did what was necessary for my retirement and I’m thankful it’s done.

I’m thankful for finally being able to wear a pair of ballet flats that I haven’t been able to since the surgery last year. I was rejoicing over this small ability.

I’m thankful for fun friends who put up with me wanting to learn photography.
here’s a snipit of my mini faux-to shoot.



I’m thankful for everything right now. It’s so easy for me to focus on all the negative that happens in my days that I quickly forget all the wonderful moments. I really want to remind myself of the great moments in my days to remain happier.

I’m thankful for my love who’s committed himself to serve this country to the end and to all who’ve given their lives to protect us as we’re safely in our homes.


Proverbs 12:1
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, But he who hates reproof is stupid.

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And the winner is…ME!

I’m a winner of a couple things actually and I. feel. special!!

First, I’m the winner of knowing I’ll be having surgery again.

Yep, the dr. I went to on Tuesday said a whole bunch of stuff but in summery:
My nerve endings (where they were cut off) are firing neurons all over the place hitting everything around them, which is causing me so much pain and the sure fire way to fix them is by having surgery again.

Only THIS TIME the difference will be, he (the new Dr., Dr. W.) will be tucking those nerve endings into the muscle so the neurons will have a place to go. (something Dr. P. DID NOT do)

You’d think I’d be hanging my head saying, no, please no more surgery. But seriously, I’m looking forward to it. Weird, right? I know it’ll suck. I hate not being able to move, being in the amount of pain I’ll be in for however long, but I truly believe it will be SO different from my other surgeries.

When Dr. W. came in the room, he apologized for making me wait so long. (it was literally 3 minutes). He said he took so long because he was reading my entire history I brought in for him and he felt like he knew me before even meeting me. (I like to be detailed, what can I say)

Though he’s sure Dr. P. did his ‘job’ he doesn’t think Dr. P. did the final step of tucking the nerves into the muscle and instead just left them there ‘hanging.’ AND ALL the injections Dr. P. was doing only made the nerves more angry and stronger which is why I’ve been in so much pain for so long. Injections that Dr. P swore were the trick to fix.

I’m a little frustrated at this. Maybe Dr. P. really believed they would work, even AFTER all the times I told him they made things worse, but at what point do you LISTEN to your patient and set aside the $$ you see in your eyes and stop doing something that’s CLEARLY not working, and not suggest more more more?!?!

Any way, I’m to call the office to schedule the surgery date for both feet. I have to figure out how much it’ll cost first…see if I can reactivate my insurance beforehand or if it’s ‘cheap’ enough to pay the full amount out of pocket. We’ll see.

Thanks for all your prayers with this. I really appreciate all your concern!

Now for the other thing I won. I won a giveaway!! Hip hip hooray. I love that.

Over at sidewalkready I entered for an Africa picture she took, and I won!! I can’t wait to get it. It’s my first giveaway I’ve won. It really made my day.
Isn’t it pretty!? It’s so vibrant, I can’t wait to find a place to hang it. (hopefully she doesn’t mind me borrowing the picture to show you)
via

Well today I’m heading to my next friend’s house for her birthday party. She’s turning the big 2-9 this weekend and we’re having a slumber party at her place tonight then wine tasting tomorrow where I finally get to meet her boyfriend! Big deal over here! Can’t wait to show you all the pictures from both nights! Should be a blast. Us and wine = way too much fun.

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The day the music died

No music died in the making of this post. I like the Beatles. That is all.

My Dr.’s appointment is today and unfortunately my OTHER Dr.’s appointment with Dr. P (my original Dr.) is hopefully some time later in the week, although it’s scheduled for June. Why am I seeing him you may ask?

My retirement company called Thursday to inform me they need a more current evaluation from my Dr. in order for them to continue the reviewing process. Apparently September is old for them to make their determination. (I stopped going after September when I realized Dr. P. had no where to go with my treatments but was determined to ruin my feet more by even more invasive injections. Read: sedating me in order to inject me because they were that painful and invasive.)

They won’t accept the Dr. I’m seeing's evaluation and said it has to be by my treating physician. SO with that being said I have to go back to the guy. I’m not sure if it’ll be awkward or not. Our very last conversation was a 25 minute long phone call where we disagreed and he was thinking I wanted him to ‘alter the medical records.’

For the record (ha. ha. no pun intended) I DID NOT want him to alter anything, just wanted him to give me an actual answer where he was too scared to do.

So this should be fun. By fun I mean, making me walk barefoot on a slanted cobblestoned street with little pebbles sprinkled all over it.

Yeah, real fun.
I need some of these…


But I do what I’m told to do…I want this reviewing process to be done so I can actually resume my life. Though adjusting to a ‘normal’ work schedule, I think, will be tough when I do…and weird. I haven’t done ‘normal’ in 6+ years.

I was told they are ‘sort of’ at the mid way point in the reviewing process. Sort of.

Can we all acknowledge it’s May!? That means 4 months have gone by. 4 months on what should be a 6-9 month process and they’re “sort of half way through.” hhmmmm my optimism with this being done quicker is wavering.

Oh well, I’ll just keep trekking along. I’ll give you an update on what this Dr. says today. It’s at 9am. Praying it’s something different. Anything different.

via

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