His blessings

As of Wednesday night, my friend’s daughter was released from the hospital. An entire day early! She spent a total of 8 days in the hospital, where they said she screamed in pain and fear for most of them. Her heart rate would jump over 30 beats a minute the moment anyone in scrubs walked in the room. The moment they were told she was going home was a very happy one to say the least.

They shared they have their good moments and bad moments, and thankfully, I happened to visit on a good moment. I don’t think I could bear seeing a bad moment. I didn’t know what to expect when I arrived. I prayed I wouldn’t be standoffish because I get uncomfortable around things I don’t know how to be, but when I walked to their back door, I saw through their window, them sitting at the table…eating. Like any normal family.

I just stood there watching for a second amazed.

There she was…sitting, eating pasta and chicken. I praised God right then and there.

She was nothing but smiles as we sat and talked about the past 9 days and how it effected their lives. Amazingly, they felt so grateful for their situation as they were around many less fortunate parents with children far worse off than their daughter.

They know they have a long way to go with her recovery, but she’s doing just that. Recovering. The more she walks and eats, the more she heals and is able to do the things she’s always wanted to do.

I asked permission to share the few shots I got last night as well as an email she sent out with an update the day she was released.

”One concern right now is that she has been having rather severe bladder spasms at times and, as thought, she reacted very badly to the medications the doctor tried.  We only have two more options, however, insurance doesn't want to cover either of them.  We're praying that as she continues to heal the spasms will go away, but the doctor isn't so sure.  We are so grateful for the prayers, gifts, and support as well as to the nurses and doctors that have done so much for her in the last week.”

So if you can continue to pray specifically for her bladder spasms, I know they’d really appreciate it.

They loved the cards that were sent. They couldn’t believe how far they traveled and she loved knowing that she had so many people throughout the entire country who loves and prays for her.

The stickers were a huge hit with her and her brother!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Squeeze your little ones tight…and your big ones too.

I have big plans tomorrow, and I truly can’t wait for them to be underway, this week has been nothing but crazy leading up to it.

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Praying today

This beautiful little girl is undergoing a major major surgery today and could definitely use being lifted up in prayer. Not to mention the long long recovery days to follow, for her and my friend who’s pregnant with their third. They survived the month long ‘house arrest’ where they couldn’t leave the house to ensure she stayed healthy and now faces an even greater challenge.

She’s expected to stay in the hospital for upwards to 7+ days after the surgery where they won’t let her eat the entire time. My heart aches for what they’re about to endure, but I pray God heals her and makes this surgery a success.

My friend doesn’t know I did this, but I know the importance and power of prayer, so I ask for yours today for their entire family. And if you would like to participate, I would love nothing more than to shower my friend and her daughter with get well cards. I know you don’t know them but I think it would be a great brightener to her daughter’s tough days ahead. Not to mention my friend’s, who will be under an enormous amount of stress these next few weeks.

If you’d like to mail a card, you can email me, amazinggrape81{at}gmail{dot}com, or say so in the comments and I’ll provide an address to mail it to where I’ll collect them and hand deliver them to my friend.


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Once upon a surgery, part II

catch up on part I 



When the Dr. talked to my mom to give her an update, he explained that patients such as myself usually are experiencing “phantom pains” and not actual pain. Since the nerves are removed leading into my toes he fully believed that it was going to be the case for me; to feel that phantom pain.

And then he cut open my left foot.

Inside, between the 2nd and 3rd toe was a very large neuroma. Then saw between the 3rd and 4th toe another very large neuroma. At that point, he realized the pain I’d been feeling the past year was very real. He realized something more. That there’s no way 2 very large neuromas can grow that fast in a years time. And there’s no way a neuroma can be there, let alone that large, after supposedly being removed 14 months prior.

He moves to the right foot. Where I’ve already had 3 surgeries. Upon opening it up, he sees my nerves, completely intact. Completely connected to everything they’re all supposed to be connected to. Showing no signs of ever being cut. He sees the neuroma leading into my 2nd and 3rd toe. Also seeing a stump neuroma between my 3rd and 4th toe (the only one showing it had been surgically removed).

I’ve had 4 prior surgeries “removing” neuromas. After each surgery I’ve had numbness indicating that nerves have in fact been removed, yet here he is stating all but 1 nerve shows absolutely NO signs of ever being cut into.

What am I supposed to think? How does a person react to that information?? I’m just as G-man says he is when I told him everything; dumbfounded.

Dumbfounded at the idea that Dr. P never removed anything. Never took care of the problem. Only cutting open my feet to do what? Stare inside and say, ‘yup, they’re there alright. Let’s close it up and tell her we took care of them.’

I don’t know what to think. Dr. W absolutely refuses to point the finger at Dr. P. The whole ‘doctor can’t talk bad about other doctors’ code, yet says there’s no way the nerves could have looked like they did with having surgery just 14 months ago.

How is this possible? Why have I been numb all these years? How can a dr. be so completely inept in his job? I truly do not know what to think.

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Once upon a surgery, part I

I’m a storyteller, regardless of what some may say, I’m awesome at them. Its true. Okay, sometimes it’s true.

I realized something through this whole process. Some things aren’t always as they seem. What once you thought, may not be how it really is. Just because someone talks something up, doesn’t mean its great and worth it in the end.

For instance, the surgical suite. Let’s just say it was a waste-of-money. I’ve had my surgeries in a hospital and I’ve had them in surgical centers. The difference??? One’s in a hospital, one’s in a surgical center paid for by doctors.

The End.

I was the only patient, as they claimed, so therefore I was treated as if I was the only patient. (easy enough). The surgeon asked what kind of music I wanted in the O.R…uumm, why do I care when I’ll be passed out? So, I said whatever they wanted. The nurse was nice. Even gave me the best I.V. I’ve EVER had. In the wrist even (my 1st) and it was completely pain free.

All the other dr.s were nice but really. Really! What was I thinking it was going to be like?? Grandiose, I suppose. And grandiose, it was not. What WAS grandiose was the cost of it.

I digress.

I was too embarrassed to whip my massively big camera out so I only got me in the bathroom minutes before the surgery.
yep, that’s me looking awesome at 6:30 in the morning.

After 3 deep breathes, I was out to the world and they went to town on my feet. By the time I came to it was 2 hours later and the nurse was talking to me. Then the Dr. came over and told me everything that happened. All I remember is I stared at him dumbfounded by his report. I asked questions even though we both knew I wouldn’t recall any, if not just pieces of the conversation. My mind was reeling.

After informing me they gave me an ‘ankle block’ (which I have to say, is the best thing ever) explaining that they completely numbed me from my ankles down to reduce my pain (crazy, scary and awesome all at the same time), they wheeled me out to the car with instructions to rest for the next couple of days.

As my mom drove me home, I kept asking her the same questions over and over, doing everything to comprehend what the dr. told me and if what he had said was really true.

And why doctors feel the need to cover for other doctors…

ps. I have some exciting news, but I’m going to wait to make sure it really is as exciting as I’m thinking, to share. Nice cliffhanger, right? Sorry.

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I’m thankful for 19

I’m alive. Were you nervous?? I’m plastered on the couch (really, that’s nothing new) but more forced than before since walking is a trial for me. But the weekend couldn’t have been better since my sweet and wonderful mom was here to do just about everything for me.

’just about’ because..a girl has to retain some dignity here!

If you saw on twitter, the Dr. told me some things that are making me scratch my head in confusion but all in all everything went well and over the next day or so, I’ll go over what he said.

For now, it’s a thanks giving day.

I’m thankful for:
- my mom. She drove 3 1/2 hours back. Cooked from 6am-6pm and froze it all so I could have meals to eat for days. Cleaned every dish, brought me anything I needed, scolded me when I did too much and loved on me every minute possible. I love you Mom!
yumminess that I devoured the first night. You know you wish you had these boots, right?


- the Dr. for removing every last neuroma I have and the calls he’s made each and every day to see how I’m recovering.

- my friends and family who are quick to offer any help at the drop of a hat.

- all of YOU for your sweet words and thoughtful prayers. I felt each and every one of them and I can’t thank you enough for taking time to lift me up to Him.

- the cooler weather, long naps in the middle of the day and pain medication.

- the Lord for allowing me the chance to have this surgery after the defeat of hearing from multiple doctors that nothing can ever be done; will ever be fixed. That I’ll have to live with all the pain for life. He brought me to Dr. Wang that gave me hope and the chance to be ‘normal’ again.

- and finally G-man who pushed me to not give up. Who knew there was someone out there who could do the job. Who always had the hope and determination to make me better and do it at any cost. I love him so much!

Romans 5:3-5
And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;
and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

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Eeeek, I’ve been cut!!

Yep, it’s happening, or happened (depending on when you’re seeing this)

I’ve been cut open like a dead fish, gutted and thrown on the grill.
via

OK, still going on with the dramatics.

If you think about it, pray for me. Pray the surgery went well, pray I’m recovering well, pray we make it home safely from Los Angeles so I can rest.

Thanks everyone for all all your support leading up to today.

And before I go, let me clarify something from Tuesday's post. I’m not sure if a certain comment was a bad comment or a neutral comment about my abs but let me set the record straight about what I do. and lets all note that in Tuesday’s post I never said I did straight abs, okie dokie?

I’m naturally thin. When I don’t workout for awhile, I get a little soft but (though some may hate me) once I do abs again, they immediately come back. Now, that’s just me.

A person has to be under a certain body fat percentage in order to have a ‘flat stomach.’ G-man and I are always having conversations about doing straight abs and how you’ll NEVER get a 6 pack doing them alone. Yet, I can..it’s just the way I’ve always been, again because I’m under that percentage.

With that said, I’ve been working out 5 days a week. Since I’ve been working someone else out, I’ve been doing cardio just about every single day. I do abs 1-3 days a week, a quick 15 minute dvd and arms. All of that coupled with eating right and lots and lots of water allow me to be fit and toned. Which is my ultimate goal. That picture was actually taken after a cardio day and not an ab day.

Obviously cardio has helped me slim down more.

AAAAAAANY WAAAAY! I’m tired of talking about this. Let’s focus on what really matters. Prayers make my heart smile as I recover. Thanks everyone! Have a fabulous time this weekend with your loved ones.

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Butterflies affluttering

The big day is tomorrow. I go under the knife. duh duh duuuuuuh!

I’m feeling like making it dramatic today.

I told a woman last week that I was getting a boob job. She believed me and then said she thought about one too. At that point I had to come clean at which point she didn’t believe me. And then it took me and 3 others to convince her it was my feet I was having surgery on.

I’m a good liar. It’s a fine quality thing of mine.

I actually started to get butterflies at the beginning of the week thinking about the recovery. I don’t care too much about the procedure, I’m out for that. It’s the recovery I’m not looking forward to and because of me thinking about my past recoveries I started getting trepidatious (there’s no proper spelling for that word, uh weird).

The last surgery, the bandages were so tight my feet throbbed for 6 days straight. 6 days of barely able to sleep because of the pain. I pray they aren’t tight this time. But I don’t think they will be because it doesn’t sound like it’ll be anything like the last surgery.

He’s giving me dissolvable stitches. I think that’s insane!!!! I won’t have to go back to him after 10 days to remove them because..they’ll have vanished in thin air. poof  that’s crazy! Everything he’s telling me, I’m just blown away by and in awe of all the possibilities he’s claiming.

So, Mom and I are heading to Los Angeles today a little early since my sweet friend's birthday is today! And because we have a very nasty early morning ahead of us. I chose not to change the surgery time so thanks to me, I have to be at the surgical center by 6:15 AM! bleh! What was I thinking?!

Until TOMORROW!

I’m wanting to fixate on pretty, sooo

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Dear Jillian Michaels, I now understand

I understand why you yell at people. I still don’t care for it, but I now fully and completely understand.

I’m working someone out. I know its lame, but I can’t talk too much about it, but they need help.

Enter ME.

There have been quite a few people who have referred to me as “Jillian Michaels” as I describe the workouts and my demeanor to them. Some in a good way…some not so good way.

But I don’t yell….but I can see where I could…

It can be frustrating listening to all the complaining and excuses being made, but I’m learning to not care and push them even harder. harsh? I don’t think so. But I know they think so. Maybe I’ll create a different approach.

I used this line the other day after they stopped in the middle of a set, ‘the longer you stop, the more we’re going to do.’ Needless to say we doubled that set.

Moving on…

I find a little pleasure in working people out. I’m not sure if I could do this as a full time thing, but I like knowing we’re both getting the benefit since I’m kinda getting a workout in too. And to see them go further than they did the day before or do more then they thought they could do is encouraging. But I get too emotionally involved I think. I get frustrated too easily at the lack of desire intensity devotion commitment to it.

A month ago I set a goal to work out 5 days a week. I’m doing really good. Now if you saw it, I said 6 days, but that proved too much for me and stuck with 5. 3 weeks in I was doing great, 4th week I got completely burned out by it and did I think 4 days. Thankfully with me working this person out, it’s enabled me to keep working out, albeit later in the day.

I admit, I’ve only done Ab Ripper X once in a week. But since I’ve worked out, my abs are rocking!

And my most difficult area, my legs are coming along too. Even my mom commented that she can tell they’ve toned up and my cankles aren’t so cankl-ee anymore. They’ve actually thinned down…since my calves have also thinned down. I’m so stinking happy at that report! It’s so hard for me to tell looking down on them.

I’ve slacked off on the push ups too, but I did 100 the other day and about died! This push up app that I have on my phone is destined to kill me.

I only have a few more days of hard workouts to do before I have my surgery so I really want to stay consistent with them all the way up to the end when I have to take a few weeks off. So here’s to pushing hard!!

How are you doing with your workouts??

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You’re going to be jealous

I’m just going to warn you…you will be very jealous of me.

Effective immediately! That’s right, 11 days before my surgery, immediately!

To save face, I’ll refrain on whether or not I will be using this pre surgery.

To say I’m excited to have this sweet bright red baby in my hands would be an understatement. I’m ecstatic!

6 whole months with this puppy is like holding gold in my hands each and every time I want to go ANYWHERE. Any state, any store, aaaaannnnyyyywhere.

Ok, sorry, I wanted to jump up and down when she handed it to me, but the woman thought I had already had the surgery and I didn’t correct her, so I walked out with calm restraint and naturally jumped in the car to snap this picture!

This makes me look forward to this surgery all the more…please don’t do your ‘wow that’s pathetic’ head shake. One time a week is all I can take…

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I’m thankful for 17

Could it have been a nicer weekend? Time with my family couldn’t have been better. I was able to get my niece and nephew fix, which was nice. I hope you all had an equally nice weekend.

Today starts another crazy busy week, only to lead to another crazy busy week, but I’ll just bring myself back to today and not look too far into the chaos.

I’m thankful for great coffee time with a friend. And more that she chose McDonalds and not Starbucks. Sorry all you Starbucks lovers, I can’t quite stand it anymore.

I’m thankful for a weekend with my family. It’s been a little bit too long since I’ve seen them so it was nice to visit, relax and enjoy the time I had with them, and see the wonderful vegetable and fruit garden my mom’s growing.

Let me ask you, do you consider a tomato a vegetable or a fruit??

I’m thankful for the hope of ‘happy’ feet again. G-man had and happily took the opportunity to say, “I told you so” with knowing this Dr. would provide the hope I needed to feel it was possible and I now have the hope and can’t wait to see what the recovery will hold for me.

I’m thankful for wonderful support from friends and family for the upcoming surgery. All the well wishes I received last week really do mean a lot to me. Thank you!

I’m thankful for a confident relaxed doctor who has to be one of the easiest doctors I’ve talked to.

I’m thankful for the 2 hour nap I got 5 minutes after I woke up and made my bed. I got as far as putting my socks on to work out and next thing I pitched over on my pillows and was out. Woke up just long enough to fold the blanket over like a taco and had the best nap ever. It was needed apparently.

Happy Monday to everyone. Let’s start it off right, shall we? Enjoy this beautiful weather!

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15 days to doomsday

Wait, what? It already came and went?! Dang, I’m always the last to know these things.

I guess it’ll just have to be 15 days until I have surgery again.

15 days and counting! Can I get a woot woot!!? I’m woot wootin over here.
(haha, the words‘woot wootin’ are making me laugh)

Friday, June 24th is the BIG day, down in Santa Monica. My mommy is going to take me. I love moms, don’t you?

Can I just say, I’m kinda looking forward to it? Yeah yeah of course because it could actually fix all the pain I’ve been having for over a year now but the REAL reason…because they said I’ll be in a ‘surgical suite.’ Am I that pretentious?

No, I’m not. However… their office said my surgery will be in a surgical center where they dote on you as if you’re the only patient there. They actually refer to it as a surgical suite. Who wouldn’t want surgery knowing that little bit of information!? It’s currently scheduled at 0730, but you know I’ll be changing it to later…because he said I could change it to whatever time I want, because, well it’s in the suite.

I think I’m feeling a bit too prissy right now…

You can count on me taking pictures while I’m there. During my conscious moments of course.

I really can’t wait to see just how different this whole process will be. From start to finish, I’m on pins and needles with anticipation.

that’s a slight lie and a slight joke and a slight bit of sarcasm…all rolled into one little sentence. I’m on FIR-AH!

KABOOM!

And this is me fizzling out…


Forgive my analogies. I’m feeling exceptionally funny today.

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