Unexpected visitors

Japan has one thing over anywhere else I’ve been: unexpected visitors.

9/10 times it’s a maintenance worker, or electrician, or plumber, or police officer…you name it, they’ll randomly ring the bell announcing their arrival. I never have a clue anyone is coming at all until the intercom on the wall announces someone is at the gate.

That’s another thing that’s different here. There’s two intercom bells. The first one is attached to the video feed that lights up when someone is downstairs needing to be rang up (much like an apartment in New York (for instance)). The other intercom bell goes off when that person is at the gate. Not the front door, but the gate that is about 10ft from the front door. They won’t come to the front door until you open it and allow them to pass the gate (which is unlocked). Its odd, and to be truthful, I don’t even know if I’m doing it right, but I always go out the front door to grant them access to pass the gate.

They always step in, take off their shoes, and proceed to attempt to explain with hand gestures why they’re needing in the apt, and I’ll always step back and let them do their thing. Like I said, I never know when they’re coming, so being “presentable” is almost always essential. I’m not always presentable, mind you.

The other day, at around 7:30am, G-man and I were on the couch, drinking our coffees, playing on our computers when I think I hear someone at the door. No one rang the gate bell, so this was odd. I almost chalked it up to being the wind, but then I heard more noise at the door, so I started snapping my fingers at G (all secret squirrel, someone is at the door, be quiet like), and am watching the door as if someone is going to barge in with guns blazing.

At this point, its obvious someone is definitely trying to get in as they are pulling on the door handle, and sticking their key into the keyhole repeatedly. G jumped up and opened the door just at the woman who finally realized she was in fact NOT at her apt, was walking away. She was apologizing over and over, completely embarrassed and we had the biggest chuckle over it all. This is Japan. The whole idea of someone barging in early in the morning to steal or wreak havoc just doesn’t happen like in America.

Ironically, the next day the gate bell rang and when I answered the door, there stood a cop; just out of the blue. We invited him in, and he had G fill out a resident card, but its these kinds of things I have to be prepared for. Thankfully I had already showered, had my makeup on, and G had done the breakfast dishes, so we had everything presentable for visitors, but they just show up unannounced!

All of this had me think of something my mom told me awhile ago. When she was a new mom in her 20’s and they had moved to a new neighborhood, the neighbors just showed up unannounced to welcome her, and her house was a mess. She said she was so embarrassed by that fact that from that moment on, she always made sure it was in order just in case those visitors arrived. It takes a lot of stress off us when things are tidy. Even if they aren’t deep cleaned, just having them be tidy saves us from such unnecessary stress. I’ve followed that school of thought for awhile and I’m glad for it, especially since I get so many surprise drop ins here. Even living in the states, I hold to this because dirty just gives me anxiety.

Talking about this makes me see I need to roll up my workout mat, wash the dishes and take my johnny one sock that’s in the living room to the laundry.


How do you handle unexpected visitors?

Do you keep a tidy home for this reason?

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Exceeding the limit

I’m packing things up today and what’s sad is I only have about 15lbs available in my suitcase for my own stuff. 15lbs! That’s like three pair of shoes and my toiletries bag. I’m bringing so many things for G-man that I’m going to have to get inventive with my own things. I’m about to breakdown and bring a carry on but the thought of lugging a 50lb bag alongside a carry on suitcase through the busy train stations during rush hour is anything but appealing.

But I might have to do it. I’m going to choose to not think about the pain of it all.

The next couple of days are going to be busier than I planned. What was supposed to be a nice leisurely five hour drive to LA, arriving at any point I wanted in the evening, has turned into me having to get there before 6pm. And what was supposed to be a nice Thursday morning where I could get ready at my own pace and arrive at the airport for the shuttle to the other airport between 10-10:30am, has turned into having to be there before 8:30am.  It throws some really huge kinks into things, but I have to go with the new flow in order for it all to work out, so I’m doing my best not to dwell on it too much.

I’m currently sipping on my second cup of coffee as I battle my power cord for my laptop, planning out the morning’s outline; and I can’t help but think, regardless of how much I have to do, stopping to enjoy my coffee takes top priority; even if it leaves me running around scrambling to get out of the house in time a few hours from now.

Since I’m reading the photography composition tutorial, I’ve been following along with the exercises they have, and subsequently have been enjoying every minute of it. Needing an “action hero” for the exercise yesterday, I improvised and used a toy car from my parents tub o’ toys for the grandkids. He was the perfect little subject.

Doesn’t he look happy? It was all about lines for this exercise.

Last night, my Dad suggested we watch a movie together since he’d be gone before I woke up this morning, so we had a little father/daughter time together, which was nice. That’s kind of our thing; watching movies together, so it was nice to do since we haven’t done it in a long time. We watched Everybody’s Fine, which I’ll tell you is really sad; really really sad, so you might not want to watch that with your Dad (since its about a widowed Dad and his grown kids..).

Happy Hump Day to you all. Next stop, Japan!

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Keep away

I remember when I was in my early twenties and was able to list at least two tv shows for each night that I would watch. Every night, except Saturday, but I watched that much tv because I loved it (and all the great series were on then, not like today). Even when nothing was on, I would flip through every channel repeatedly and if all else, just have it on in the background while I did stuff around the house.

I got rid of cable a few years ago and I couldn’t believe how much better things were. I would do things and only found myself watching a movie or Netflix for about an hour at night after work. It was refreshing, but I started relying on my computer to fill the mindless hours and before I knew it I was always on my computer. With school online, you can barely pry it out of my hands, or off my lap, its glued to me.

Yesterday, I backed up my computer and figured it would take ten minutes to do but when it stayed at 3% for 15 minutes, I knew I was in for the long haul. It ended up taking almost three hours, and in that three hours I got up and did stuff. Cleaned, organized, did laundry, wrote letters (I’m looking at you, Amanda), wrote birthday cards, made a delicious breakfast, and just kept busy and I have to admit I loved it. It was so nice not being glued to my computer. Not to be so dependent on it, or mindlessly staring at websites wasting half my day (or all of my day). I went the entire morning and half the afternoon without my computer, and when I came back to it to look up a couple things, I found myself getting sucked in again, unwilling to get up because I had to check one.more.thing. It has such a hold on me, its crazy.

With the next few weeks off from school, I’m hoping to really reduce my computer use and get out more. Go exploring, or actually pick up a book (or my kindle) and read. I haven’t wanted to read for a long time, and I want to enjoy that again. I gave up Facebook because I became addicted to it, I’ve scaled back on Twitter because I found myself checking it all the time, and Instagram will soon be following (though as bad as it is, that will take a little more effort).

I’ve known this for awhile but yesterday really showed how much I let my computer take over my life; even when school is out, I’ve become comfortable with it always on my lap and even feel a little lost without it. Weird, I know!

Here’s to a little more freedom.

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Bruises and hangers

I have bruises all over my arms and legs, but that’s what generally happens in a move. You bump things, carry heavy boxes and get some scrapes too along the way. 4 years I lived in the same place. The longest I’ve ever lived in one place in my entire adult life. I didn’t expect to be here this long, but regardless, its come to an end on almost 4 years to the day.

I’m fighting back tears and I’m sure as I keep typing, they’ll eventually fall because this whole process has been incredibly overwhelming, emotional and stressful. Not to mention humbling. So very humbling. 2 days before actually moving, I cried a lot. I was so overwhelmed by everything still left to be done. Boxes, trash and large amounts of my stuff all strewn over darn near every inch of my floors. I’m a very clean and tidy person and having everything everywhere was more than my brain could handle and I broke down often that day.

I never knew it but hangers are my Achilles heel. My complete undoing. I walked away from packing my many hangers at least 4 times, my brain couldn’t take it anymore. I was left staring at them, just staring at them blankly and eventually would walk away defeated.

They defeated me that day.

The day before the move was a completely different day. It was as if all the trauma and drama of the day before hadn’t even happened. I was functioning, positive and able to make progress little by little. Not to mention conquering the hangers and even taking it in stride when they started fighting back.

Only a few knew I was moving. And many of them, I told mere days before leaving when I’ve known it was coming for weeks. It was hard to talk about. A failure of sorts, though I know I’m not a failure, its still hard not to think so. It got to a point where I had to face the facts. I was looking for jobs everywhere but where I was living, and I had virtually nothing coming in since quitting my job, so why stay in an apartment I couldn’t afford any longer?

I chose to quit my job, I chose to put myself in this situation and I chose to accept my parents offer to stay with them until I found the job that would help me get back on my feet. They didn’t have to do that. They could have ‘taught me a lesson’, and refused to take me in, since this is all my doing, my choice. And I’m thankful to them for not.

I’m not a freeloader. I’ve told myself that over and over again. (I’ve read that sentence over and over again) I’m not. This is only temporary. I believe it. My parents believe it, its only temporary.

It’s still hard. Its going to be hard for them. Its going to be hard for me. Its going to take some adjusting. I’ve been on my own since I was 21. Lived by myself for 6 1/2 of those 11 years. We all have our own way of doing things, so there will be a learning curve for all of us as I get settled in.

Once this all settles, I hope to pick things back up here. I’m hoping so, any way. I have some fun things coming up, so I’m looking to turn my heaviness that’s been lurking here for awhile into a much lighter space.

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Not all rainbows and sunsets

I feel the good always gets shared with my trips to Hawaii, I never get to tell the behind the scenes of the good. Granted I did talk about the helicopter ride and how it wasn’t as great as I wished, but like any trip, there’s many things that go wrong or not good at all.

I’ve been beyond blessed to have the opportunity to travel there several times and island hop as well, and believe it or not, I always am wishful that everything will go off without a hitch each and every time. And each and every time that is not the case.

I have grand plans to hike Koko Head. I can’t even tell you how much I’ve wanted to hike it, but we always sit around the apartment instead. Its kind of embarrassing really, admitting that we sit around the apartment watching tv more often than not. Believe me, I’m not one to give you tips and advice on the things to see around Oahu because well, I’ve “done them” but not to the full ‘local’ or ‘tourist’ extent. Why?? because that pesky tv…and pure laziness, since I’m being honest.

There’s also little things that creep into the trip that want to create mountains out of mole hills. Getting lost or one person not being in as much a hurry as the other, misunderstandings.. they happen. I think that’s normal for any couple. Its safe to say, and though its irksome at times, we have an argument on every single trip we take. Its silly but it happens.

I was thankful when I read another blogger who admitted that happens with her and her husband on every trip. The stresses always build. Expectations, ideas, plans. They’re all there in both our minds and when it doesn’t work like one imagined, boom! Things get tense. It generally lasts a few hours and after that, everything is grand and the trip is practically perfect.

{Someone should do a study on that.}

But its ok! Its ok we have these spats. G-man and I are very different in our thinking and we’re bound to clash from time to time. It used to scare me. Thinking one fight would lead to an inevitable breakup, but that was in the beginning, in my new relationship immaturity. Now I get things off my chest like its no one’s business…well, I make it his business!

I’ll never forget the ‘one’ in Rome. A doozy that lasted over a day. Imagine being upset with each other for a whole day in Rome! We spent an entire month in a car driving across country without any problems and we choose to have a big fight in Rome!? Craziness, I tell you!

Any way, I hadn’t intended to share any of this actually, at.all.  I had plans to tell you how I found a dead mouse on the floor of the restaurant after we finished our meal.. and how I made G-man take our rental car back after 2 hours because of the ant trail I found in the car, but ‘we’ came out instead. I’m not sure why, but maybe to convey that we’re normal. We fight, we disagree, we aren’t perfect in any way, and I truly hope that I don’t portray this “I travel all the time with my love, life is perfect” persona. Heck, I’m 3500 miles away from the man, things are anything but perfect.

But I love him and he loves me. We work really hard to make it work, with the distance and though it sucks and I’m tired of it, I wouldn’t ask for anyone else in my life. My hope {for the future} comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, and I know there’s going to be a great ending.

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Your decal families

This is a PSA of sorts.

An old co worker of mine talked about it on his wife’s blog over a year ago and I remember nodding my head the whole time in agreement with everything he said.
Now a days, you can’t drive down the road, park at a store or go to a school without seeing those family decal stickers on the back window of a car.

via technabob

When you see them, what’s your first thought? Is it, ‘oh, look they have the cutest little stickers for their 2, 3, 4 kids??’ Or do you think about the dangers that come with having the amount and general age of their kids on their car, for all to see?

The vast majority of you know I used to work in prisons. In that time I had a rather close encounter…too close of encounters with hundreds and hundreds of child molesters. I read their files, I knew what they did, I knew how and what they did to those kids and the ways the kids were lured in.

Its sick.

To this day, among all my prison paperwork, I have tucked away an ongoing note that spanned over a couple days between 2 child molesters that I happened to confiscate when I saw one attempt to pass it to the other. I didn’t know what it was at first when I asked him to hand it over, but I took it, told him to go away, and began reading it. I was shocked. Not to mention disgusted.

It was a conversation about little boys in a magazine they were looking through…and their age preference of them… and then how one, who was coming up on parole, planned to elude the cops, change his name, move out of the state and find himself another little boy..or two or three.

Are you uncomfortable yet??

Now, look again at those decals. Notice the ones that go so far as to give each and every name of their family down to their baby. How much easier do you need to make it for that child molester to come for your kid?

What do all parents say to their kids? Don’t talk to strangers!! But what happens when that stranger comes up to your kid and says, ‘Hey Tommy, your mommy Cheryl told me to come pick you and Jenna up because she had to take your little sister Heather to the doctor.’

And how does he know where you live? Easy! He followed you home, thanks to your decals being so easy to spot. They are elaborate thinkers! They will do anything to get your kids. I can’t stress that enough!!

Stop making it so easy for them by putting your family on your car!! and please for the love of God
DON’T SHARE YOUR NAMES!!
If you have a friend or family member who has these, please tell them the dangers of this. If you have them, please understand the danger this presents for you and your family. We don’t need to live in a state of fear, and I’m by no means wanting to make you be in one, but I want you to be aware. Aware of what’s around you. Not to be naïve to the fact nothing could ever happen. And not to be so forthcoming with your personal information for all to see.

Its called “personal” for a reason.

this concludes my public service announcement

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I’m thankful for 21

Some good and bad things happened over the past week and weekend. Things that really make you appreciate all that God has given you and the time you have.

The generosity of friends always amazes me. I think sometimes I’m not worthy of their kindness so I’m always surprised when they’re so willing to drive to my house just to load 4 things in my car for me or bring a cooked meal so I won’t have to stand in the kitchen or pick up tomatoes at the store.

Then the generosity of my Savior amazes me because I know I’m not worthy, but by His Son being so willing to suffer and die for my sins has allowed me to have that ounce of worthiness to know Him and give me the confidence of where I’ll be spending my eternity.

Friday at 1pm, a fellow Officer who I went to the academy with, who was in my class and I got to know for the 4 months we were there, who I worked with, sometimes side by side at 2 prisons over 4 years, fell into Kern River and was swept away. 4 days later they still haven’t found him. He has 2 little girls, who as of yesterday, still don’t know he’s gone, in case there’s that small chance he’s found safe.

His number sits in my phone.

Over 2 years ago, another Officer I was close with, even closer with, was camping with a friend. Got up early before his friend woke up and went to ride his dune buggy by himself. Hours later, when he didn’t return, his friend went looking for him and found him overturned in a ditch with his neck snapped. I couldn’t make it to his funeral. It took over a year for me to delete his number from my phone.

In the most normal of things is when your life can change forever.

I’m thankful for
- my Savior
- my salvation
- His comfort, grace and mercy
- my family

James 4:13-15
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit."
Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.
Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that."

You hear it everywhere you go and you’ll hear it here. Love on the ones you love today. You can never be sure what the next few minutes could bring.

USS Arizona

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Reality, please be nice to me

Reality and I don't always get along. Sometimes it'll bite me really hard or I'll scream at it "I hate you reality!" So it's a love/hate relationship between us. Ok, I really don't scream at it...well maybe in my head I do...

I'm back home...*deep breath* It kinda sucks but I'm doing my best to dwell on other things.
Like this:

I have nothing to eat. NOTHING! That milk is only there because we stopped at the store on the way home from the airport. I must have my cream (which is in the door) for my morning coffee and milk for cereal. 

So to the store I must go...eventually...

But then reality pops it's head in and says...'remember, you don't have funds.' darn you reality for reminding me!

Before I go to the store lately I have to check all the websites for deals, the weekly store ads for what's on sale and write out my huge grocery list, determine which stores I'm going to hit and head out for the day. This takes me HOURS. I'm still not used to doing this. And by the time I'm ready, it's too late to start the grocery shopping day.

I commend all who have this down to a science and save tons of moola, I'd love some counsel on this. For too many years I've just gone out and bought whatever I wanted when I wanted without thought. Now I feel I am entirely TOO aware of the mighty dollar.

I thank the person, who will remain nameless, who has given me grocery money to get what I need. It's very hard to be in this position of need... very hard....very very hard. But am blessed to know they're there to help me. 

Now I must focus on the things I need to get, here's to hours of list writing, pantry checking and Internet searching. 

...I wonder if my tank is full in my car?? I can't remember if I filled it up before leaving to give me a full tank of gas or if I didn't bother, only now to regret that decision with it being 30 cents more. 

Reality...please be nice....Guess I'll find out soon!

*Random Tip: Hydrate your skin when sun burnt with lots and lots of lotion. It helps it heal faster and reduce the pain and peeling time. 

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