Many ways to spend your days

Because I’m overflowing with knowledge on the many different ways to spend yours days, I felt it was my duty, nay, that it was my calling, to shower you with the plethora of ways to in fact, spend your days.

I have been highly trained and am now highly qualified to instruct you in these ways. (I have certificates to prove it) Enduring 14 months of grueling exercises, tests, drills and many sleepless hours to perfect the ways you can, spend your days.

So without further ado, soak in all that I’m going to teach you today. Take notes if you feel the need, I know if I were you, I would be writing every little thing down to study later.

In no particular order:

There’s the straight on method, with feet propped on a pillow.


Straight on method without the pillow. Definitely work yourself up to eliminating the pillow. It’s a big step to take and not to be taken lightly.


They can be angled across the chaise for a more lazy approach.

Over the arm of the couch method. Be prepared when doing this method to sleep as it will put you quickly into a peaceful dreamless sleep for up to 3 hours.


And one of my favorites. Crossed at ankles. There’s just something about having them crossed that just feels…safe.


*disclaimer: Consult with your physician before attempting any of these ways to spend your days as they may prove too difficult to get out of. Ensure you have ample water by your side, with all remotes, computers, phones, books, chapstick and either kleenex or napkins within arms reach.
Side effects may include: drowsiness, listlessness, hunger, frequent desires to urinate, temporary loss of circulation, numbness, backache, cramping in butt or legs, laziness and boredom. (only when alone)

WARNING: SHOWING FEET
I unwrapped them last night. It was like unwrapping 2 presents. It was great! I only took a little flesh off one of the incisions. No worries, it’ll close back up!


In all honesty, out of all my surgeries, they look the best immediately after removing the bandages. So far hardly any bruising, swollen yet minimal. This guy knows what he’s doing! The evidence is in this picture (to me, any way).

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