The mind is a terrible thing to waste

Oh hi guys! How’d you get along over the weekend? I’ll be honest and say I had several rough patches the past couple days. If I could erase 89% of my Saturday, I wouldn’t mind one single bit. It went down in my books as one of my worst days to date.

The mind is a terribly fickle thing. So easily taken over and run.

Saturday morning I had something huge going on. Exciting and fun and 5 minutes before walking out the door, it got canceled. Not just canceled, but the person who was heading it all up didn’t even bother telling me it was canceled. I had to reach out to her sister in law, for her to tell me it was canceled. It put the biggest damper on my day, I can’t even tell you!

There was no getting out of it from that early point on. It of course opened my mind to all the niggling negative thoughts I ignore and had them magnify to 100. It practically rendered me incapacitated for the rest of the day, being consumed by every sad thought I could possibly allow, having me sink deeper and deeper into myself, thinking God wanted me to think them. That He was ‘telling’ me something.

It was crazy. It exhausted me to the point of not even wanting to open my mouth to talk to anyone, it would have been too much effort. I went to bed that night with a broken spirit and heart.

Come morning, one of my first thoughts were, God would never hit me from every angle with such negative thoughts. He would never beat me down leaving me so confused and unable to make sense of my thoughts to show me His way or give me His answer. I immediately knew at that moment, it was Satan. He brought me down to such a level that kept me from reaching out to anyone. Because if I would have been able to talk it through, I would have felt better, but I believed I would feel “better” if I stayed unmoving on the couch, staring at the same spot on the wall for hours as the thoughts consumed me.

I realize this is quite candid and quite different than normal, but I shield a lot from this blog. I cover a lot of struggles and issues I’m facing because they’re not something I want to talk about. As I’m sure a lot of your lives are the same, its not always daisies and sunshine, yet I had to share what I was facing over the weekend. The spiritual attack that thankfully come Sunday, was defeated by my One and only true God, was no joke.

Sunday eventually gave me those daisies and sunshine, turning everything around. I even, for what is probably the first time in years, worked out on a Sunday, heading to the track only to find no one there. Having it all to myself on a beautiful afternoon was just the added peace I needed. God sure does know how best to take care of me.

Please tell me you had a better weekend than I did.

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