Caught in a truth

Last weekend I was surrounded by 25 women in one of their homes. It was loud, a bit chaotic but a lot of fun. Among the 25, I knew 2, and really 1 of the 2 I knew more than as an acquaintance. As I’m talking with all of them, socializing and doing what I do, a 12 year old girl came over and started talking to me.

She reminded me a lot of my niece so we talked about jewelry, school and age..believe it or not. Bless her heart, she showed shock when I told her I was 30.

Once she walked away, an older woman was standing beside me and I mumbled half to myself half to her, ‘she is such a cutie.’ That’s when the woman told me she was her Grandmother. I had a moment of panic, replaying what I said, figuring if I said something nice or not (it was chaotic, so the brain was running a little slow) but I was relieved I in fact said a compliment.

It was in that moment it occurred to me just how careful I need to be with my words. What if I said something unpleasant about the girl (though there wasn’t anything unpleasant about her)? But what if the baby that was getting passed around was getting on my nerves and I let something slip with someone standing near? Or another woman…anyone.

You never know who is around you. But more so, you never can be certain who knows who when you’re talking about someone {whether its good or bad}.

We all know its best to keep certain comments to ourselves. It doesn’t benefit anyone to talk down about someone, but we’re human and things slip out, sometimes before we can even stop them from tumbling past our lips.
via pinterest

I know from experience.

After that night, I realized how loose my lips had been about that certain person I’ve replaced at work. Mind you, I’m not saying anything mean, rude or nasty. Only facts about how she was “running” the company, but I’ve been rather vocal about it.

This office had only had me there (at the time) for 2 days and I was openly talking about how wrong she was doing things, and what’s bad is that office is brick and the voice carries no matter how quiet you get. So I know, I wasn’t being cautious as I should because truthfully, I don’t know where these co-worker’s loyalties lie. But I can tell you, its not with me.

I’ve been reckless. It took me saying a kind word about a girl to the unsuspecting Grandmother for me to realize it.

Many times people will pretend they don’t know the person you’re talking about or even pretend they don’t like them in order to get your ‘dirt’. I’ve done it before, so I know there are others who do it with far better skill than me.

Think about holding your tongue if a stranger is annoying you. Their spouse could be right behind you, or the mother.
Search your heart if you find yourself always criticizing others or putting them down. You don’t gain anything by insulting others, it only serves to paint you in an ugly light, and who wants to be in the ‘ugly light’?

Psalm 141:3
Set a guard, OH LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.

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The art of thick skin

What would you do if a complete stranger came up to you and said: ‘I was told there would be a photographer shooting this event {looks at you pointedly} but then I saw your camera.’

followed by

’I brought my camera and lenses if you want to use my stuff instead.’


It happened to me over the weekend. I was taken aback by it to say the least. Since I was caught off guard, I agreed to look at her equipment. She happily showed me her telephoto lens, that I quickly gave back to her, her external flash, that I declared I didn’t know how to use and wasn’t going to ‘practice on’ that night and her other zoom lens that I said I’d check out.

She continued to tell me that I needed to use my built in flash in the low lit room and proceeds to take a picture with her camera w/flash to prove her point. Showing me the LCD screen, saying ‘see? this is how your pictures need to look.’

I took a picture with my camera, explaining I changed the white balance, lowered the aperture and fixed my ISO and showed her my LCD and said, ‘this is what my pictures look like.’

She then informed me she doesn’t know anything about that, and shoots from auto the entire time, where I let her know I shoot in manual.

At that moment, she turned around back to her bag of equipment and insisted I use her camera body, a Canon 30D. I said I wasn’t familiar with 30D’s and was content with my own Rebel, but she persisted over and over again. I again stated our cameras were different and I knew mine, so I preferred to continue using mine, but she kept pushing saying they had ‘all the same features’ and showed them to me.

I politely declined for the last time. But it seemed like what may have started out as kindness to her, became a ‘my equipment is better than yours’ game…that she clearly won.

After taking 5 pictures with her lens, I quickly took it off and put my simple (to others) 50mm 1.8 lens back on and went back to work.

I thought I was in the clear after crossing the room, but was approached 20 minutes later by a man with a very fancy camera and external flash, who began questioning my photography abilities and choice..or lack of equipment.

I was starting to feel defeated at this point. I realize I have an older model Canon, and I realize I don’t have an external flash for low lit rooms or a fancy zoom lens that looks more professional than my small 50 I had to use, does, but to have people…strangers! pointing it out is a whole other thing.

He turned out to be a very sweet man, who ended up knowing half of what I know in terms of photography and who in the end, paid me a compliment, but it was a rough start.

What made it all okay, was after both encounters; approaching my friend, who asked me to shoot in the first place; and her saying she trusted my abilities. That’s all I needed to keep going.


~~~~~~~
There will always be someone who has better equipment than you, who will be better at something you think you’re good at doing, but someone will always have more and be better than them. Trust in what you can do. Don’t let someone make you think what you have isn’t enough to be good…to be great. It might turn out you know more with less.

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Excuse me...that's ok

When we were in the check out at the grocery store the other day a little girl in front of us needed to scoot by us to grab something. She was squeezing by and her mother says; 'say excuse me.' So the little girl does and the G-man says; 'that's okay' and let's her by.

That got me remembering a female comedian that joked about women in public restrooms. When one woman is in her stall and all of a sudden another woman opens the stall door. Immediately the woman opening the door says, 'Excuse Me! I'm sorry!' and the fast response back from the woman sitting on the toilet is, 'That's ok.'

IT'S NOT OK! Ever think about that? Someone just walked into your stall while you're using it and we say it's ok. It's such an automatic response yet we just had a very embarrassing thing happen to us.

Why did I think about this with the kid at the store? Because this parent is actually instilling manners into this kid and we are so quick to dismiss it.

G-man and I started talking about this and how quickly adults don't acknowledge a child with manners or learning manners. I've done the same thing. A friend and her kid visits, the kid does something they shouldn't, the mom says, 'I'm sorry' and I'll say the famous, 'that's okay' when really I'm going crazy inside.

Why do we do this?! It basically is telling the kid that it doesn't matter how well behaved they're being since they get lumped in with all the other kids good and bad.

We determined when a child says excuse me or pardon me or whatever it may be to acknowledge them. Say,  'thanks kiddo' or something to show that we are grateful for their manners.

I encourage everyone to do the same! Show those kids that their manners mean something to us adults. Show that they are set apart from the others to encourage them to continue with their well mannered behavior and not say 'that's okay' when a child does something wrong...not to mention when a woman walks in your stall! ;-)

Have a great and safe weekend!


*Random Tip: Avoid using a loofa, wash cloth, or back brush on a fresh sunburn. It hurts, it really really hurts. And then the hot shower water just adds to the hurt. Hold out for a few days, you'll be glad you did. Pin It Now!