Airplane etiquette

On my last flight a little over a week ago, some things transpired that led me to think of the do’s and don’t while on an airplane. The list could certainly seem endless but I’ll only point out what I’ve witnessed.


* Video games are great for kids, but having the sound on, and on LOUD for the surrounding 6 rows to hear is not the kindest.

* Having to get up to go use the lavatory? Consider when you hoist yourself up using the back of the person’s chair in front of you, that you’re pulling them back and its quite inconsiderate. This happens mainly to the aisle seat person.

* Telling the 6’5” middle seat passenger that you’ve never met that he’s a ‘rather tall son of a b****’ is probably not the politest thing you could say.

* Passing gas bombs that make a compressed air cabin’s eye’s water may be fun to you, but it’s not fun for anyone else. Just do your business in the lavatory using courtesy flushes along the way and I promise no one will mind how long you take in there.

* Telling me a passenger that they have ‘a stick up their a**’, will generally lead to a fist fight while high in the air unless a male flight attendant swoops in to quell the situation, saving you. So, its best just to remain in your correct seat without troubling any other passengers around you.

* Seeing a passenger secretly remain on a phone conversation as the plane is taking off, proves keeping your phone on is not a danger.

* Flying in a 12 passenger commuter plane and having the pilots never mention once to turn your phones off, proves leaving your phone on is not a danger.

* Having the complete stranger next to you feel its his business to demand you turn off your cell phone twice because the big jet that hadn’t even pushed away from the terminal, made their first announcement, is not appreciated. Nor is it when he leans over to his wife to whisper {loudly} that ‘she has attitude’.. so leave it to the flight attendants to tell passengers to turn their phones off.

* Catching frail old men in your lap when they lose their balance walking down the aisle is awkward but necessary.

* Leaning your crotch against the aisle seat person’s shoulder and face while you put your bag in the overhead bin is NOT okay. not not not!

* Alternate the arm rest with the person sitting next to you. Its only the polite thing to do.

* Getting so drunk before the flight and risking the entire plane to miss its small window to take off in the storm because you’re so drunk you’re arguing with the flight attendants is not the way to make friends.

* Giving up your seat so a Dad can sit with his wife and kids will win you favor with the flight attendants.

* Telling the flight attendant that you’re allergic to the dog that was brought on the plane to sit next to you will result in them moving them and the dog.

* Paying $40 to upgrade your seat only to have the 2 people sitting next to you get the upgrade for free is enough to make you want to bend over and get kicked, so see if you can’t get it for free like them next time.

* Some airlines on 5 1/2 hour flights don’t even offer free water, so make sure you load up on bottled water and food before boarding.

* If you’re wearing flats or flip flops, always bring a pair of socks to slip on for those cold flights. They’ll prove to be a lifesaver.

What are some do’s and don’t that I’ve missed that you’ve experienced? I’m sure you travelers have some doozies.

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