Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Unwanted opinions

I've been victim to the dreaded unwanted opinion; only in reverse. I've been the unwanted opinion giver...not receiver. Isn't it the worst when you discover that its YOU sharing your "thoughts" and "suggestions" when no one ever asked? But you feel you need to give it?

Since coming into the light of recognition, I've made such an effort to A) notice when I'm doing it. and B) stop myself before doing it. A is easy, B takes some effort.

A few months ago, my friend and I were texting and out of the blue I offered her some "constructive criticism" regarding something she had done. She didn't ask, but I felt I could "help" her by offering up my critique. Needless to say, she didn't respond and days had gone by in silence. Each day that passed I would read and re-read my text, and started to feel that maybe my advice wasn't going over well. By day three, I texted an apology, which opened the door to discuss the situation. Come to find out, I had done the exact same thing to her months earlier, and well, she was tired of it.

Understandably so.

Bad thing was, I had no idea I had done it to her before! Shows how much I give my opinion so freely!

Since then I've worked really hard to zip my lips, and not share unless asked (still a work in progress, let me tell ya). But then another thing was brought to my attention by another friend. I'm a "finisher". When someone's talking, I jump in (jump sounds better than "cut off") and finish their sentence because I already know what they're going to say (I'm just smart like that)... but then I don't, and they'll respond with "no...I was going to say this, this, and that".  Drats! Why are these people still friends with me!? I know I can be a pill.

Needless to say, since learning that I not only give unsolicited advice, but also cut people off and finish what they're going to say, I've made enormous efforts to sit and listen. Sit there, mouth closed with no intent to speak-eyes on them-listen. You know what? I've actually been able to tell a difference. They might not, but its made me become more present to that person in that moment, where I'm not thinking of my response or interjection, but just listening and taking in what they're saying. Again, this is still a {huge} work in progress, but its progress!

And I have to say, I'm so thankful I have friends who are willing to come forward to share these failings of mine. Point them out in the gentle way they do. Its friends like these I want to keep around because they hold me accountable, as I need it..and I need it!

Major life lessons being learned over here, my friends.

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Sunday, October 26, 2014

In all that time

Can I pretend I haven't been missing for so long? Or that I unintentionally had my last post be on my birthday? I can't tell you how bad I felt when I would get birthday wishes days and days after. I promise I didn't do it on purpose.

For the past 3 months I've been staying in Las Vegas with my friend, killing myself over my college classes. It was hands down the hardest set of classes I've had. I didn't have time for anything other than my hardest class - Anatomy and Physiology. All I can say is I'm glad its over and I have a life again. My new classes have started up this past week, and I'm slowly getting into that groove though its taking a bit of effort, if I'm completely honest.

I had a great time in Vegas. I didn't do the typical Vegas things; I simply stayed with my friend, visited other friends and got to play volleyball. And anyone who knows me knows I love competitive volleyball. It was great and intense and it proved that I have aged because whoa, was I incredibly sore and achy before the night was even over. The next day was only worse, but I would endure all that pain again if it meant I could play more.

Some other fun and major things that have happened in the past 3 months:

- I got a Macbook. I love it. Just love it! I thought I'd have the hardest time converting to a Mac, but its been the easiest thing ever!

- I went to The Neon Museum in Vegas and highly recommend night. It was so great, and our tour guide was so so good. She went past the one hour tour, and if you read anyone's reviews you'll see they don't like to go over the one hour.

- I did a family photo shoot. Completely wasn't intending it, but my friend asked me and I agreed and it turned out to be the most enjoyable family shoot I've done. Everything just flowed and we all had a great time. I hope to show the photos soon.

- I went to the California coast for my uncle's wedding and it was just beautiful there. The weather was perfect and the time with my family was the greatest.

- I went and saw my brother and his family in Utah. I wish I could have seen them more while in Vegas, but my schedule proved too demanding.

- I lived with a 2 year old and 6 year old for the whole 3 months. I admit, I was nervous about that. A single person living with a toddler is always a questionable turnout but I survived and my friend and I had a fantastic time together. I actually really miss her company and humor.

- I worked a whole day at a golf course where they treated the woman like prostitutes and trash, and by the next morning said I couldn't return.

- I attended my 15 year class reunion. The first reunion I've attended! Only 15 of us showed...out of the 50 in our class. Apparently a lot of my classmates still live in the same town and didn't feel like going since they already "see" everyone. It was still nice seeing everyone and catching up.

My class schedule this time around is a lot less demanding, so I'd like to think I'll have more time to share more and catch up with everyone. I hope you all had a nice weekend...and past three months!

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