Thursday, January 31, 2013

Dinners and movies

I’ve had myself a little visitor since Monday night. Ok, he’s not so little, but he’s been here since 11:45pm, Monday night and we’ve been having a ball the whole time. Its G-man in case anyone’s still questioning. G-man is here, in the flesh!

I’m still working every day..though I may or may not have a doctor’s appointment in the city an hour away, Friday afternoon. *cough* may or may not make it back to work…

We’ve spent our time watching movies (some really really good ones), eating out and trading off foot massages, while drinking 20 year old port wine. Didn’t know we like port, but this stuff is delicious! DE-licious!

So as I soak up the time with the love of mine, I wish you an enjoyable rest of your week and I’ll leave you with an amazing sunset (surely you’re not surprised). Courtesy of my iPhone.
photo (15)

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Monday, January 28, 2013

Many lessons learned

Things I didn’t know going into my Saturday:
- staying in bed for 30 minutes after my alarm clock went off would prove to be a very bad idea
- taking an hour to chop 2 cucumbers, 7 pieces of bacon, 2 avocados, cilantro and about 20 cherry tomatoes while slowly sipping my coffee, would lead to the rest of the morning in chaos.
- thinking I had plenty of time to cook the remaining {big} dishes was foolish
- not thoroughly reading 2 recipes would send me into an insane panic and a frantic call to my mom.
- wearing a thick heavy robe while frantically running around the kitchen only makes things worse.
- pausing to tweet would leave me wondering why I paused to tweet {and waste more time}
photo (14)- not realizing I had never worked with puff pastry nor know what to do with it, which resulted in another frantic call to my mom. {how was I to know you fold it open!?}
- giving myself only 15 minutes before everyone arrived to do my hair, change out of my pj’s, clean the disaster that was my kitchen, make the drinks, take the breakfast bake out of the oven, and scrape the stuck apple tart off the cookie sheet would darn near do me in.

Then everyone arrived and filled my home. 14 showed. {the most that’s ever been in my home at one time}. I hoped for 15 and I wasn’t disappointed in the least. They had a great time, I had a great time, they loved my food and I gave away a lot of fun prizes and jewelry.

I had grand plans to take photos of everything from the food to my setup before everyone arrived but I left myself no time for it.

Finally after the last 2 guests left, my friend and I jumped in her truck to head south to witness thousands of migrating cranes land for the night in the wetlands. Me armed with Monty and her with her “new” camera that she bought from me just minutes earlier. I’m so happy to see my old camera go to someone I know and can help learn it.
It was the perfect way to relax, sitting out in the middle of a wildlife preserve, listening to the birds fly over, after such an insanely busy morning.

How was your weekend, my friends?

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Friday, January 25, 2013

Let’s get this party started

I have a huge party tomorrow… I say “huge”.. I invited over 375 people to this party. ..a party that will be held at my small 1000sqft 2 bedroom apartment. I expect everyone to show because, its me after all! Who dare turn down an invitation to one of my parties?!

…most likely 365 of them.

Out of that many, I do expect about 10 to show. Hopefully 15.. if I’m wishful, 20. I’ll remain wishful, though 20 I’m pretty sure won’t fit in my living room…unless they like each other enough to sit on each other’s laps. We’ll see how cozy they all want to be.

I’m making a brunch all in their honor..because I’m generous and giving like that. {few people know this about me. the generous and giving part} ..I should add humble, too.

After a lengthy conversation with my mom, I nailed down the dishes I’ll be making.
I’m making this apple tart, this bacon avocado salad (with bacon dressing, of course) and this cheese sausage spinach breakfast "bake" (because I can’t call it a casserole). Plus a nice punch, coffee and my signature drink, water. {I’m expecting people to fall over themselves to get to that drink}

There are few moments I’m ever called to be a hostess, so when I am, I must be remembered. Granted it might be for a failed party, or disgusting food (I never!), but as long as I’m remembered, I’d say I’m staying on the right track.

I’m nervous though. I’m the hostess after all and its my duty, nay, my honor to be on point the entire time. Its been a great debate at work lately about whether or not “party Emily” that comes out during my jewelry parties, is real. Some believe she’s real, only suppressed deep down while others thinks a flip is switched and she comes out though she’s fake and that its all an act. I can’t quite decide where “party Emily” comes from, part act. part real.

Regardless, she has to be out in full force tomorrow and she can’t miss a beat. I realize I’m talking about myself in the third person, but lets be honest…she’s a person all unto herself. Anyone who’s seen ‘her’ would agree to this. And to put minds at ease, she’s not out of control or anything, just a lot more fun and well, funny. It’s true, I can be quite funny.

With that, wish me well! I wish you all a wonderful weekend filled with funny. Oh and you’re all invited over, because you’ll get your funny if you come.. just sayin’. {because I’m funny, remember?} har har

See? the proof is in the out of focus pudding

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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Mentally Monday

But its so nice knowing its really Tuesday. This 3 day weekend I was given was glorious in every way. Hopefully you guys were able to enjoy it just as much. Each day I got to do something different, meaning I actually got off the couch 2 days of the 3. Shocking for sure.

Though I’ll go into it in another post, Saturday evening I went out and chased the sun. It was so nice not rushing to the spot I planned on going, to shoot the sunset. I actually left early! The only nerve wracking part was knowing people who were driving by could see me. I still struggle with knowing I’m visible but I pushed it far down and enjoyed watching the sunset while working on “my vision” I mentioned Friday.
People talk about their passions and I think I’m ready to admit my passion is photographing sunsets. I love it. I can’t get enough of it and I want to hone my skills to take the most spectacular sunsets imaginable. It would be such an honor to travel the world to capture sunsets. Silly maybe to some, but beyond wanting to be that fitness model in magazines who demonstrates workout moves, this is my passion.

I’m still on the fence with enjoying family portraits. It could be my newbie status, but I don’t enjoy it. Though I’m excited to see if a friend and *cough* sister a family member will allow me to photograph their birth {provided I can be there}. My friend is due in 3 weeks and she said she’d think about it. Think of how fun it would be to capture it all? They don’t know what they’re having and I can just picture how fun it would be to capture that, can’t you??

Within my 3 day weekend, I got to hit up 5 stores. 5! My feet were crying at the end of the day. I should learn to wear better shoes, but after the craziness of the Dollar Store and Hobby Lobby (holy tons of people in there), Target offered the calm quiet I was needing. I sure love Target. Though it was quickly followed by the craziness of Costco and then the grocery store. But the best part of it all? It was 66 degrees and there was no way this {self professed} recluse could stay indoors, so I went to my favorite place that I’ve missed dearly… the bleachers!
photo (11)I really was that happy to be running bleachers. It’s the best workout for me and I could do it every other day if the weather stayed like it did Monday. I’m not like those crazies who can go out in the cold. I need some warmth.

I feel like I just wrote you all a letter. This post reads like a letter, so feel free to write back. :) And since no letter is without questions:
* What is the one thing you got to do this weekend that you haven’t been able to all winter?

* Do you know your passion? Or have an idea what it is?

* Do you have more than one passion?

* What time do you normally go to bed?
{no relevance to the post whatsoever but curious all the same :) }

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Friday, January 18, 2013

Friday letters

This week has been all sorts of interesting. We’re back to secrets at work and I’m smack dab in the middle of them with keeping things quiet so the ‘soon to be fired’ co worker won’t catch on. Screening resumes and creating questions to ask in the interviews. The interviews that I won’t even take part in.

My favorite part was when an applicant didn’t follow my instructions and instead of emailing me the information like I said, came into the office to hand deliver it while the co worker was sitting just steps away. I became a blubbering idiot doing everything possible to get her to stop talking (because she wouldn’t stop talking). It was one big mess…and then I proceeded to lie to the co worker when she asked who she was.

Oh, the tangled webs we weave.

Interviews start tomorrow while she’s out of the office. Feel free to chime in with some great interview questions that should be asked. The ones that will make or break someone.

I look forward to the end of this. Thankfully this 3 day weekend coming up is going to help me decompress from all the latest.

Dear 3 day weekend, you’re awesome. I look forward to the fun we will have. {and by fun I mean sleeping in past 6 and not leaving the couch unless I absolutely have to}
Dear Sandi, you’re the best for sending me homemade cookies. I wouldn’t mind getting a package of your cookies every month. I’m not picky, you can make a different kind every time. Surprise me even. I now look forward to this tradition we have just established.
Dear G-man, 10 more days before I get to see your cute little face.
Dear Mexico vacation, 6 more weeks. 6 more glorious weeks before you get to spoil me rotten..oh yeah, and G-man too. 24 hour free room service? You truly know the way to my heart.
Dear mind, this whole going blank thing every time I open my computer to blog is a little annoying. So is the fact that you come up with a whole bunch of things to write about while I’m driving and unable to write it down. And of course you don’t let me remember it the second I step out of the car. Its like you’re playing tricks on me.
Dear Downton Abbey, I read the spoiler for this season and know everything that’s going to happen…whoa is all I’m going to say.
Dear fellow friends, let me save you some grief and tell you to never ever ever buy a cheap store bought brand of panty liners because you thought that surely they couldn’t be much different than Kotex. Wrong. You will hate them. You’re welcome (..and sorry for the tmi, I feel its my duty to not let you make the same mistake)

random picture from Hawaii for your viewing pleasure
Have a fabulous 3 day weekend, if you get it. I might actually take my camera out to play like I’ve been saying {to myself} that I’ll do. I actually have a vision of what I want to capture, so we’ll see if I can pull it off.

Linking up with the adorable Ashley

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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

He shoots he scores!

Anyone who’s anyone knows two things about me: I’m a stick in the mud {its true} and the last sport you’ll ever hear me talk about is hockey.. well, and soccer. {it took me 3 times to spell ‘soccer’, that alone should tell you how much I don’t care for it}. So when a friend asked me if I wanted to go with her to a jr. hockey league game, I made a face. {Thank goodness we were texting to spare her my face.} I actually had a jewelry party the night of the game, so I gracefully bowed out.

As each day went by, the more I thought about it, the more I thought it “could” be fun if I took my Monty and new zoom lens along, but again….I had that party, so I pushed the thoughts away because I don’t go to hockey games. My sister does, not me.

2 days before the party/game, I got a text from my hostess saying she can’t wait for her party on Saturday. I did a double take, shot her a text back doing the whole, ‘oh, you mean Friday right? 7..haha’. But no, the woman wrote the wrong date down and now the party was “conveniently” moved to Saturday. I went through the great debate of telling my friend I was free and letting it slip past. >good friend alert<

Finally, hours before the game, I sent a text saying I was free only to have her say she gave the ticket away to someone else. I had my answer. I didn’t have to watch a hockey game and was free to go home and veg…because on a Friday night, if I don’t have a jewelry party, I veg. {remember…stick. in. the. mud}

I got home from work, turned my heater on, turned the fireplace on and sat my little butt on the couch. And you know, when the butt hits the couch, its not moving for nothing. Not food, not the phone, nothing. For over an hour I didn’t move (I promise, all this is relevant to the story) when I decided to finally get up. 2 phone calls, 1 voicemail and 2 texts were sitting their waiting for me on my phone I left in the kitchen, from my friend. {it was on silent}.

The ticket was available again and it was all mine if I wanted. The turmoil raged inside, to go or not to go. I “could” have fun, but I could also have fun staying in front of my fireplace on the couch. With great effort I called back saying I’d meet her at the arena. Slapped on my boots, coat and hat and headed out the door.

The first sign, I knew it would be a good night was when the parking attendant only had me pay $2.50 when I didn’t have the $7 that was required.

The second sign was the Mexican food I ordered, and the third sign were the plush luxury leather seats we were sitting in. We had some great seats.
photo (10)

I didn’t understand a thing that went on. Whistles were constantly blown, players were jumping over the wall in the middle of plays, penalty boxes were filled, I didn’t have a clue. But I had fun!
I was rooting for the blue team for most of the first quarter until my friend leaned over and said we were the green and white team.
I went into this game telling myself I didn’t want to see a bunch of grown men fight. What’s the point of that? But as the game went on, I was itching for them to fight. Not sure if it was the atmosphere of hockey but I wanted to see a good fight! I was not obliged. Pushing, yes. Fighting, no. I left dejected.
There came the point in the game where they had the kissing cam. And let me tell you, they should have dubbed it the gross, oh my gosh! they’re totally making out with tongue, cam. All their faces say it all. Horrified, embarrassed, entertained, grossed out, dumbfounded… it was that bad!
Toward the end, we all had the chance to throw a puck in the bucket for $200. I did not win the $200. It ruined the whole experience for me…

We lost. We lost bad. 0-3 but all this has now made me want to see a real NHL hockey game. I don’t know who I am, but I’m now oddly into hockey. Mainly so I can hear how hard they slam each other against the glass…and maybe because I want to see a real fight, but mostly so I can see what a real game looks like by real players.

Have you gone to hockey games?

What’s your opinion on them and do you wish for them to fight as much as I did?

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Monday, January 14, 2013

A glimpse of the past

Back from a great weekend, I hope everyone had some fun. I did stuff, I actually did stuff but I’ll leave that for another post later this week.

I’m a member of this photography forum called The name isn’t lost on me, I realize I’m not a mom, but it’s an absolute fabulous photographers forum that will help you grow leaps and bounds in whatever stage of photography you’re in. Doesn’t matter if you’re a novice, amateur, hobbyist or full on professional, you’ll learn so much and grow in your skill. I love being a part of it and have learned so much in the 10 months I’ve been a part of it.

Last week one of the pro’s threw out a challenge to shoot in low light with manual focus and I was pretty eager to test my skills. Ever since I got Monty in November, I’ve taken a major step back in my photo taking skills. It’s been pretty hard to take and rather discouraging when I see my images once I’ve uploaded them.

He’s so different than my first DSLR that we’re taking awhile to get to know each other and its showing in the photos I’m taking. Which is one of the main reasons I haven’t been shooting much nor showing much of anything taken with Monty.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to take a photo of {for the challenge} so I went around my apartment for awhile until I stopped on a photo. A photo that I cherish. One that if there was ever a fire, it would be one of the few things I’d grab if I had time. Its of G-man as a child. One of the only photos he has and it contains one of his favorite memories of all time. Being on stage with Lionel Richie. You can see his joy on his beaming face. What a moment for a kid to experience, and I just love that he was that kid.

What’s even better about this photo is he and Lionel are the only ones that are in focus. All the other kids are moving and blurry, but not them. They’re perfectly still in the moment which makes the photo that much better.

I don’t think I’m breaking any rules by showing this. He’s a little boy in it, almost 30 years ago, so its not like its giving anything away. He looks more like John Cusack in this photo than anyone else. ..maybe it is John Cusack as a kid, who’s to say.

..and I’m sure my watermark takes away from it but I must protect my love, even as a little kid.


The frame is another thing about the photo I like so much. His mom framed it back in the 80’s, one day I’ll change it out but for now it’ll stay. I like stopping by this photo often in all its original ways. It gives me a small glimpse into his childhood.

(I only used the candle as a light source. It was pitch black without it.)
In case someone’s curious on my settings:
50mm – manual focus
SS 1/125
f 1.8
ISO 5000

So I guess you can consider this your one (and quite possibly your only) glimpse of G-man.

How was your weekend? Bring me up to speed on you.

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Thursday, January 10, 2013

Remember when it was Christmas

In case you forgot, I thought I would remind you with mine. I spent it in Hawaii and I am so glad I got to spend this past Christmas there. It was a very memorable one for me.
When I walked into the apartment I was greeted by a beautiful 4ft tree, G-man bought. I didn’t know it until that moment, that he was really in the Christmas spirit this time around. Buying snowflake confetti and Christmas lights. Getting the tree and waiting for me to arrive to decorate it together, stocking hangers, hot cocoa, apple cider and ingredients to make homemade eggnog..just to name a few.

Even going so far as to turn the a/c on high so we could get under the blanket, while drinking hot apple cider. It was great.


We moved the tree around the room, placed it on the side table and used my red sarong as a ‘tree skirt’ and began decorating it. It was beautiful. We would just sit and stare at it each night watching it glow in the dark room.

I hadn’t expected him to get me any gifts. He got me Montague already as an early Christmas present so when I saw gifts under the tree, I was shocked…and then panicked since I didn’t get him many things.

Christmas Eve, while he ran to the mall to get me even more things, I ran a couple blocks down the road to Long’s Drugs (how bad am I!?) and loaded up on all his stocking stuffers and some extra little gifts for him. That night, I crafted. Which is rare for me, but I really wanted to make something special for him, so I used the mug idea I’m sure you’ve seen going around the internet.
photo (9)
I confess, still to this day, I feel guilty I drew California and not my home state of Nevada. I feel like I betrayed it in some way and vow to make 2 more mugs to add to these. A Hawaii mug and a Nevada mug, so NV and MS can be connected (as those are our home states) and CA and HI will connect given his whole time there I’ve been in CA. It only seems fitting I correct it.

When I opened my gift of the {obvious} wine bottle, I was so surprised it was a French wine to remember our time we were in Paris over Christmas and New Year 2 years ago.em172
The thoughtfulness of that gift meant so much to me. That meant more than the gift cards and even Monty. He’s pretty special this one of mine. I think I’ll hold onto him for a little bit.

We made a traditional Southern Christmas dinner with all things “Thanksgiving”. G-man grew up eating Thanksgiving dinner for both holidays and I got to experience that with him this Christmas. It was delicious and filling and fun cooking alongside him as he worked so hard on all his dishes and pies, while I stood back fighting the urge to make helpful suggestions on how to stir without splashing and keeping from having him do things my “easier” way. It was difficult since I’m more comfortable in the kitchen, but I wouldn’t trade him being there eager to cook for anything.

I now have a glimpse of what future Christmases will be like making these dishes side by side, and I think I like it very much.

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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Airplane etiquette

On my last flight a little over a week ago, some things transpired that led me to think of the do’s and don’t while on an airplane. The list could certainly seem endless but I’ll only point out what I’ve witnessed.

* Video games are great for kids, but having the sound on, and on LOUD for the surrounding 6 rows to hear is not the kindest.

* Having to get up to go use the lavatory? Consider when you hoist yourself up using the back of the person’s chair in front of you, that you’re pulling them back and its quite inconsiderate. This happens mainly to the aisle seat person.

* Telling the 6’5” middle seat passenger that you’ve never met that he’s a ‘rather tall son of a b****’ is probably not the politest thing you could say.

* Passing gas bombs that make a compressed air cabin’s eye’s water may be fun to you, but it’s not fun for anyone else. Just do your business in the lavatory using courtesy flushes along the way and I promise no one will mind how long you take in there.

* Telling me a passenger that they have ‘a stick up their a**’, will generally lead to a fist fight while high in the air unless a male flight attendant swoops in to quell the situation, saving you. So, its best just to remain in your correct seat without troubling any other passengers around you.

* Seeing a passenger secretly remain on a phone conversation as the plane is taking off, proves keeping your phone on is not a danger.

* Flying in a 12 passenger commuter plane and having the pilots never mention once to turn your phones off, proves leaving your phone on is not a danger.

* Having the complete stranger next to you feel its his business to demand you turn off your cell phone twice because the big jet that hadn’t even pushed away from the terminal, made their first announcement, is not appreciated. Nor is it when he leans over to his wife to whisper {loudly} that ‘she has attitude’.. so leave it to the flight attendants to tell passengers to turn their phones off.

* Catching frail old men in your lap when they lose their balance walking down the aisle is awkward but necessary.

* Leaning your crotch against the aisle seat person’s shoulder and face while you put your bag in the overhead bin is NOT okay. not not not!

* Alternate the arm rest with the person sitting next to you. Its only the polite thing to do.
* Getting so drunk before the flight and risking the entire plane to miss its small window to take off in the storm because you’re so drunk you’re arguing with the flight attendants is not the way to make friends.

* Giving up your seat so a Dad can sit with his wife and kids will win you favor with the flight attendants.

* Telling the flight attendant that you’re allergic to the dog that was brought on the plane to sit next to you will result in them moving them and the dog.

* Paying $40 to upgrade your seat only to have the 2 people sitting next to you get the upgrade for free is enough to make you want to bend over and get kicked, so see if you can’t get it for free like them next time.

* Some airlines on 5 1/2 hour flights don’t even offer free water, so make sure you load up on bottled water and food before boarding.

* If you’re wearing flats or flip flops, always bring a pair of socks to slip on for those cold flights. They’ll prove to be a lifesaver.
socked feet

What are some do’s and don’t that I’ve missed that you’ve experienced? I’m sure you travelers have some doozies.

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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Myths about eating “less”

Sometimes I can talk like I really know what I’m talking about. Yesterday was one of those times. I was even impressing myself, until the very end when I started to lose my train of thought and stutter. *I’m thinking I’m developing a stutter problem*

In light of yesterday’s post and all my cooking Sunday, I had a little more confidence with my knowledge and held onto it while talking with a co worker. This co worker is battling her weight and she declared to me and another co worker that she was going to lose weight! And by telling us, it was her way of holding herself accountable, whereas before she would keep it to herself and fail.

I’ve heard her talking before with other co workers a month or so ago, but I sat back and listened to their ‘advice’, cringing as they were steering her in the wrong direction. Despite my frequent lack of eating enough throughout my day, I know what I’m supposed to do. I’ve had personal trainers over the years, not to mention G-man who is constantly researching exercise and eating the proper amount of calories, so I have a lot of knowledge on the subject.

So when she made her declaration, I asked her what she planned to do. “EAT LESS!” was her answer. This made me nervous, so I asked her how less? And that’s when she said 1,000 calories a day. 1,000 calories a day. That is too low!

I really think this is the common myth women believe. That by consuming an awfully low amount of calories that it will take the weight off, and its just not true! Should you eat less? of course! But dropping to such a low amount is going to put your body in, ‘hold tight to that fat’ mode! Especially if you’re going to start incorporating exercise in your life. You need that fuel. I think this is a big reason women get so discouraged and stop working at it, because they’re not seeing the results they expected.

We got to talking about what she could do. I showed her the pictures from my cook fest and it got her all excited of the possibility. She even wants to pay me to cook it all for her. {if anyone can come up with my price, I’m up for suggestions} but I explained to her the importance of eating enough, especially if she starts to workout, drinking tons and tons of water and keeping it healthy.

I’m not sure if you thought avoiding eating until dinner was the way to lose weight. Or that by eating considerably ‘less’ and working out would burn all that fat. Or that weight training will add bulk when you’re wanting to lose the weight, but let me tell you. Starving yourself daily is not the way to go..working out requires you to eat more (of the right foods) to fuel that body and get the burn to work on the fat..and weight training will help you lose weight. It won’t bulk you up but help burn the fat more and lean you down.

Yes, muscle weighs more than fat but its m-u-s-c-l-e.

Am I professional? No. But I’ve maintained this physique for the past 10 years
Do I make the right dinner choices all the time? No, but even when I wasn’t eating enough food, I was still always eating healthy foods. Nothing processed. Veggies, sweet potatoes and chicken only. This is my current routine with my eating.

2 cups of coffee (1 level spoon of sugar and 1/2 and 1/2)
steel cut oats w/fresh fruit and flaxseed sprinkled on top w/brown sugar and a dash of milk

Mid morning snack
apple slices w/all natural peanut butter (every single day for the past 9 months)

(this week) sweet potato wraps
a salad or chicken leftovers
next week I’m making this for lunches (and let me tell you, its delicious!)

Mid afternoon snack
(if I get hungry)
plain cottage cheese w/pretzel crisps
a piece of chocolate dipped in peanut butter (I have this obsession w/peanut butter)

Chicken/fish/shrimp and veggies

Drinking close to a gallon of water every single day and I get 2-4 workouts in a week. Depending on my mood.

But that’s it. It sounds like a lot, but it really isn’t. I hope I helped my co worker. I really want her to succeed and feel better about herself, and hopefully this post can help someone else see the realities of what it takes.

What myths have you been told about losing weight?

Do you have a tried and true way you maintain your figure?

*remember, I’m not a professional. Only offering suggestions of what’s worked for me and what I’ve found over the years to be effective.

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Monday, January 7, 2013

A holding pattern

Welcome to the very first Monday of the new year! Already in this one week alone, so much has gone on. Its been a busy one! Especially the weekend.

Its taken over 8 months, but I’ve finally made the decision to get myself back. Its been about that long since I’ve actually cooked for myself. I’ve made a meal here and there, but 9 times out of 10, I’ve gone the route of veggies and sweet potato and called it a night. Or just a sweet potato..or just the veggies.

Not exactly the healthiest for me.

I’ve had myself in this holding pattern for so long with little to no motivation or energy to do anything more. A funk if you will and over the weekend, I finally told myself to snap out of it. I’ve held onto a lot of stress lately and its been so draining and it leaves me with no ability to make anything at night. I think all of its been the main reason my clothes are a lot looser and ultimately dropping down a size in pants.

I was shocked and confused months ago when I noticed how loose they were and couldn’t figure out why. I’d synch a belt just so they’d stay on. I cheered with a friend when I tried the next size down and had them fit perfectly, celebrating my new ‘tinier’ size. I size I’ve never been. I thought it was because I was working out consistently that was doing it, but it wasn’t until this past week that I really got to thinking that it might be because I haven’t been eating enough.

To put the fears aside, I’m not anorexic. I actually still weigh the same with the same 5lb fluctuation. And I could easily link back to the week where I ate a buffalo burger every day for a week straight. I love food. There’s no doubt about it. I just wasn’t eating enough.

When I went to the store Monday night last week, I loaded up. On stuff I thought would get me through the week, but what ultimately didn’t last me past Wednesday morning. It was in that moment, opening my fridge and seeing a carton of 1/2 and 1/2 and a couple apples and nothing else, that I realized I haven’t gone grocery shopping in months. I’d go to the store every week, but only for something here or there, but never to actually make meals.

Cooking for 1 isn’t exactly the most enjoyable thing. Its actually downright depressing and tiring and I made sure to avoid it at all costs.

Saturday morning came and I had every intention of making the morning a Costco morning. My weariness won out and I ended up staying warm under a blanket on the couch, eating the bear minimum. I had a jewelry party that night and even though I was starving, I knew she’d have food (as most of them do) and waited until I got there.

Nasty oven baked fake taquitos were her party food of choice. I had 2…and that was my dinner that night.

Sunday, I had more resolve. Even though my energy was zapped, I made the drive to Costco and got as much as I could possibly think of. Then once I got home, I poured over my food board on pinterest, and wrote down all the other things I needed and made the trek to my grocery store. $200 later, I was ready to get to work.

For 3 1/2 hours I cooked.

I made 5 Roasted sweet potato wraps for lunches.
photo 1 (3)photo (5)

5 steel cut oats w/fresh fruit for breakfasts.
photo 2 (3)photo 3 (4)

and 5 dinners of sautéed veggies and chicken.
photo 4 (6)photo 5 (2)

A week’s worth of meals, healthy complete meals, where I can come home, reheat and not have to wonder what I’ll be making. It takes so much stress out of my week knowing I have healthy meals already prepared for me. No more running to Subway and wasting money on lunches. Or making toast in the morning that will only leave me starving by 9am.

I’m ready to eat again, to cook again for myself and get back into a functioning human being who’s not in this stall pattern. Its amazing how much I’ve wasted these past many months but from this moment on, my goal is to make my week’s worth of meals every Sunday and to eat like there’s no tomorrow…even if that means not being able to fit into my new smaller pants.

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Friday, January 4, 2013

In reverse order

I’m going to go backwards here. New Year’s first and then Christmas, cause that’s how I roll. My own timeline on my own time. This whole, talking about Christmas first immediately after Christmas followed by New Year’s is for the birds, is what I say.

On Monday, I got a call from my Mom asking if I wanted to come up for New Year’s for a big family day and I quickly agreed. I rarely get to see my brother and his family (not to mention I don’t really get to see my other siblings) so I was excited.

I actually got a decent start in the morning. Rarely do I say I’m leaving no later than 9 and I actually leave at 9, but darn if I didn’t do it! I felt so accomplished!

Being that I got such an early start, I was early getting there, so what better way to burn time than to go to Target when everyone else in the world was nursing a hangover? I’ve never enjoyed my time at Target more. It was quiet and peaceful and if it wasn’t for me not grabbing a cart and having to load everything in my arms, it would have been the best time I’d ever had.

I wanted to enjoy my time with my family, so I didn’t hold onto my camera too much of the time, and it was nice. While all of us adults were eating at the table, one of my nieces climbed under to play with a toy. She loved being under the table, and I wanted to get her without her knowing, so while I sat in my chair, I rested my camera against my seat and snapped without looking. Risky but I absolutely love how I got her.

In her element, completely content playing alone.

It was loud almost the whole night, but it was wonderful. It happens just as it always does, the men sit in the living room while the women gather in the kitchen to chat, while the kids ran in and out, up and down. Is it like that at your house? I got to enjoy holding this sweet one for a long time. I love a cuddler.
We played a board game while the kids hung out together and everything was perfect. The jokes, the teasing, the laughter. It happens so rarely. It had been 368 days since I last saw my brother’s kids. Not since last New Years and its been way to long. I love his kids. I get to see them at all different ages and it gets me excited for my future. To be around a cuddly 1 1/2 year old, a quiet and sweet 3 year old, a boy’s boy 9 year old, and a silly, beautiful and growing 11 year old where when she hugs me, her head rests on my shoulder. All different stages and so fun at each.

I’m so glad I went. Everything about that trip was perfect. My sister’s kids. My brother’s kids. Oma, Papa and Auntie Em. I hope its not another year before we get together again.

Have a lovely weekend everyone!

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Tuesday, January 1, 2013

The start of new things

Happy New Year to you!

Like many others, I thought it would be quite fun to look back over my year with the highlights highlighted, naturally. As I started with January, I started tearing up. Though the beginning was off to a good start with confessing my past addiction, the end of January was incredibly difficult with my Dad, but I’m thankful he's better now.

In February, we took a whale watching cruise and it was beautiful and serene and still one of my more popular posts to this day.

Come March, a lot happened. I started working again after being out on disability for almost 2 years, and it was incredibly difficult to start that new chapter in my life, not to mention humbling with how different the work was compared to my previous career.

There were struggles inward and outward, and if there’s one thing I can count on, it’s you with your amazing responses and comments when I’m down.

I did my first ever (and only) vlog too and loved it. Hopefully some time soon, I’ll do another.

In June, I shared a post about the seriousness of false sexual harassment, that needed to be shared. One that, I will never take lightly as it can so quickly ruin a man.

And then I had to talk about another topic, in July that is very close to me, since I was around “them” and saw, not to mention heard how they worked. Family decal stickers on your cars are a danger, and they need to be seen as danger!

Getting botox was one of the best things I could have ever done for myself, and you might be surprised to learn where I got it. It allowed me to have the confidence to participate in a flash mob on the busy streets of Milwaukee… probably the only flash mob I’ll ever be in.

Given my new found confidence, its only fitting I admit my egomaniac ways, forcing people to compliment me in order to feel better about myself. Believe it or not, it works…works very well.

Being told marriage is horrible before even getting married, is enough to want to have the best godly marriage possible.

It took awhile, but August is when I finally realized the importance of putting my phone down while driving, for good. I’m happy to say I haven’t done it since. The risks that we take texting and driving are unbelievable. I’m not sure I’d ever be able to forgive myself if I got into an accident while texting.

Its no surprise that I love Hawaii sunsets and this one just might be my all time favorite sunset. Taken with my “Monty” who performed like a dream with the absolute most beautiful sunset I’d ever witnessed.

I don’t think I’ll ever not have a PSA for you from time to time, so hopefully it didn’t come as too much of a surprise for me to have yet another one for you recently. But this was completely at my expense.  Sacrificing myself for your greater good. That’s what I’m all about here…you’re more than welcome.

This new year, I’m wishing you all the best. Not necessarily what you think is the best, but what God knows is best. I’m so thankful for all of you being here with me. I can’t wait for this year to be underway. I’m excited for it. More than excited, I’m flat out tickled and I hope you are too.

Happy New Year!! Here’s to 2013!

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