Thursday, June 14, 2012

Abusing the power

I’ve debated posting about this for weeks. I’ve written and rewritten it many times, wanting to convey it the way it needs to be conveyed. After a lot of thought, I believe its important I do talk about it because it’s a serious issue that many people, and many many women take lightly and abuse.


We, as woman hold a lot of power.

One little word against a man can ultimately bring them to shambles. Even if it isn’t true, that word can ruin them and little can be done, because it will always be in the woman’s favor.

I have a guy friend that was falsely accused of sexual harassment in the work place. When I say ‘falsely’ I really mean maliciously. He had never met the girl, ever. He replied to a 7 person email (where she was among the 7) and she in turn filed he sexually harassed her. ..in the email, where he made no mention of her in any way.

It sounds like it would be a cut and dry case, her clearly being in the wrong, but it wasn’t. They immediately investigating it and him, not to mention pulling him in the office, in front of the 6 other email recipients to announce that he’s guilty of harassing her and that they’re guilty of not reporting it; without warning, privacy or due process.

He was shocked, embarrassed and humiliated.

He had to seek legal council to ensure he did nothing wrong. Which he didn’t. All the lawyers agreed after looking at all the evidence and laws, that he in no way sexually harassed her and that she is essentially out of her mind thinking she can accuse him of this.

But its out there now. She was determined to ruin his career and life only because she knew she had the power to, by saying those very powerful words. My poor friend was beyond stressed, constantly worried, disheartened and very discouraged by it all. It consumed him, effecting him in every way. He analyzed and looked at it from every angle to be sure it in fact couldn’t be misconstrued into anything harassing and it couldn’t.

I read the email and the law and no where did his email fall within violation of the law. Not even close. Not even on the same planet.

He was told this girl has a “history”. Even with a history, they still were quick to believe her. Even with his squeaky clean history, they still were quick to take her side. All of his co workers were outraged and rallied beside him, but the damage was done. It makes me so angry he had to go through that.

Its not fair.

A few weeks into the investigation, she decided to drop her charge against him, changing her story. Even though we’re all grateful for the outcome, it doesn’t negate what she did. He had to receive training. He had to write a letter defining the meaning of sexual harassment. And he had a letter put in his file from his supervisor about the incident.

She received no punishment. No additional training. No letters...nothing.

Women need to realize its wrong to falsely accuse a man. We need to hold the ones who are doing it accountable and condemn them for their actions. Showing them there are consequences for their actions and put a stop to this once and for all!

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13 comments:

Evelien said...

Wrongly accusing anyone is one of the meanest things to do... I hope your friend will feel better soon! I've had it happen to me too (not about sexual harrasment of course, just girl gossip) and it is SO hard if the people that are judging you don't even listen to your side of the story...

meme-and-he said...

I love this post, because it seems like no one is willing to talk about this side of the story. But its true, people are so afraid of sexual harrasment or women being taken advantage of, that if it is ever brought up, the woman is basically always right.

Tabitha Mahoney said...

What a beezy. SO sad.

Tab

Natalie said...

Oh gosh... I'll be praying for him and for this to all work out for his favor in the end, not hers.

Daisy said...

That is so terrible. Same thing happened to my husband at work. Good thing they have cameras where he works. Grr.I think girls do it for the attention.

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

I'm so sorry for your friend. I have a dear mentor that has recently had false charges leveled at him from some teenagers that he coaches for. There are several witnesses to his innocence and there is no chance he will go to jail because the charges aren't true, but that doesn't change the fact that he got fired from his job (as a teacher) and his name has been drug through the mud on the news. Breaks my heart for him.

LeAnna said...

I also have this beef about women who have abortions without consulting the other member of the party. You know, the one that fertilized their egg.

The feminist movement did a whole lot of stuff, and most all of it was no good. I wonder how many men are sitting in prison on rape charges for incidents that were completely consensual. It's so wrong...

Dr. Reginia said...

Those who falsely bring accusations and/or charges against someone in a malicious manner should receive the SAME punishment plus 1 for each charge or punishment.

This reminds me of the guy who served 5 years in prison because a girl lied and said he raped her. She later recanted and said she was mad bc he wouldn't date her. He had 5 years of his life stolen. She needs to serve 5 years in prison.

carissa at lowercase letters said...

i agree. because even allegations can ruin a man's reputations. true or not.

Megan said...

Wow. Who would even do that?! That is just insane. She needs to take a trip on the crazy train.

Valerie said...

Oh this is just disgusting. What a horrible thing to have to worry about from an innocent person. I hope eventually people can forget about what she did. This is truly horrible.

Beka Fox said...

Oh my goodness. this is awful. WHAT A GREAT EYE OPENING post! Great job! I love seeing WOMEN stand up against other horrible things like this going on!


ALSO the newest blog follower! <3

Callie Nicole said...

I've heard of this happening in other situations, and it's crazy what passes as "sexual abuse" these days. It's so wrong of women to wrongly accuse someone of that, but I've heard of it happening alot! Not quite as bad as your friends situation, but still. I think there should be some consequences for maliciously accusing someone of something they didn't even do like that.

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