I hear an echo

I could barrel through this post without mentioning my lack of blogging or even appearance socially (minus an IG picture from time to time), but it would seem fake. I didn’t think I wouldn’t blog almost the entire time I’ve been in Japan, but what do you know, I haven’t.

I imagined I’d have ample time to sit and blog each and every day, but the days I actually did have time, I had no interest being on my computer let alone blog. Its funny. Blogging is great. I love doing it and all that I’ve gained from it, and what’s great about it is it’ll always be there, available, whenever you need. Whether you blog 3 times a day (which I follow a blogger who does, and all I can say is whoa), or once every 3 months, it doesn’t matter.

Since being so sporadic, I feel like I’ve lost pretty much all of you and the times I do blog, its for the empty room of chairs, but maybe there are a few of you left who are interested in sticking around. If you are one of them, then HI! I do plan to be up and back to my normal self, at least with all the travel/sight seeing posts I have to share since being in Japan.

There’s a lot floating around in my head I want to share..I probably should write it down before I forget…like how I get stared down by A LOT of Japanese women on the daily. So badly, even G-man felt he had to point it out to me. Or how you have to sort your trash into 4 different categories, and for the non recycler that I am*gasp* its very hard to grasp an understanding for each category. And how, as an American, you can get into big trouble if you don’t sort it properly. Or how the stovetop will decide if you’ve used too much gas, and shut the burner off without warning and not let you light it again…for hours.

You know, fun stuff like that.

I have a lot! So stick around if you’re still here..or come on in. I promise, things will get good soon enough.

Would I post a 1 eye closed the other 1/2 open picture, if it wasn’t?

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Long breaks in between

G-man's here and if there's one thing I do, it's take long breaks away from my computer while he's in town. I only get the evenings since pesky work is interfering with those lovely day hours, so the last thing I want to do is lose those precious few hours zoning out staring at my computer screen, ignoring him, so to say there's been no time for blogging is an understatement.

So instead, we're zoning out watching a tv series together on Netflix. I kid. but really.. we just started 24 from the beginning. I've never seen it. I've always ignored it knowing it was on tv forever in a day, but Tuesday night G suggested it and we dove in.

Have you seen it? Did you like it? Slight cheese factor is there but in its defense, it is the first 2 episodes, so I'll keep an open mind.

We’ve kept pretty busy since he’s been there, heading up to Lake Tahoe over the long weekend and that’s a story all in and of itself, so I’ll save that for another day, but it sure was beautiful there.

I’ll be jumping in and out around these parts when I can get some extra time since I have some fun things to share and show, so I hope everyone had a great long weekend and nice short work week.

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A walk down memory lane

Today is day 21 of Jenni’s challenge and its all about sharing my favorite posts from the past. How perfect that we all get to walk down memory lane together, hand in hand as I reminisce over my glory days.

The first one that came to mind, well, there were 2 but this one, where I shared how I kicked a nasty habit really popped in my head as a topper. I know it resonated with a lot of you and maybe by bringing it back, it’ll resonate with even more of you.

The one and only time I vlogged was really actually quite fun. You asked questions, and I kinda sorta answered them. I talked fast (faster than a lot of you thought) and I rolled my eyes a lot..oh and called myself stupid a time or two. It’s a riot. ..get it… riot?? oh wait, you have to have seen the vlog to understand that. Go watch so we can both laugh at the pun together.

I’ve been thinking of doing another one, but keep putting it off, so maybe one day I’ll muster the courage up for it.

Talking about the family decal stickers on cars is a post that I would love to post over and over again because I want everyone’s eyes to be open. Even those who have them and think I’m overreacting or feel its not a threat. If you’re one of those, I’d be more than happy to mail you a copy of the letter I intercepted, that I talked about. Maybe it’ll really help open your eyes.

I think it goes without saying that the start of my love story is among my favorites. Truth be told, I actually just read through all of them a few days ago and got the warm fuzzies all over again. I can’t help it. I go into more of it through my my story tab, if you’re so inclined.

Its hard to say these are among my favorites but I definitely don’t want to forget the feeling of that afternoon when I learned my Dad had a massive heart attack. Within minutes of learning the news, I sat down to write how I was feeling. I had to get the words out, had to say how I’ve always felt and seen my dad. Even to this day, reading over that post chokes me up. Hearing those foreign words of him having a heart attack was eye opening to me that they won’t always be around like I selfishly expect they will be.

I can’t believe it took a minute to think of these, but if you were around for my many trips to Hawaii, you’d know the one thing that I blogged about obsessively often, were the sunsets. I’m a lover of Hawaiian sunsets and you’ll see that no two are the same. From the North Shore to one over Ala Moana Park, they are beautiful and breathtaking and I’m missing them terribly. I’ve limited myself to only showing 2, so you’re welcome for the restraint.

If you’ve been around for awhile and there’s one that comes to mind as a favorite of yours, do share. I’d love to know what has stood out for you, even if you don’t remember when it was or the title. I’m all for generalities so we can reminisce together.

 

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The start of new things

Happy New Year to you!


Like many others, I thought it would be quite fun to look back over my year with the highlights highlighted, naturally. As I started with January, I started tearing up. Though the beginning was off to a good start with confessing my past addiction, the end of January was incredibly difficult with my Dad, but I’m thankful he's better now.

In February, we took a whale watching cruise and it was beautiful and serene and still one of my more popular posts to this day.

Come March, a lot happened. I started working again after being out on disability for almost 2 years, and it was incredibly difficult to start that new chapter in my life, not to mention humbling with how different the work was compared to my previous career.

There were struggles inward and outward, and if there’s one thing I can count on, it’s you with your amazing responses and comments when I’m down.

I did my first ever (and only) vlog too and loved it. Hopefully some time soon, I’ll do another.

In June, I shared a post about the seriousness of false sexual harassment, that needed to be shared. One that, I will never take lightly as it can so quickly ruin a man.

And then I had to talk about another topic, in July that is very close to me, since I was around “them” and saw, not to mention heard how they worked. Family decal stickers on your cars are a danger, and they need to be seen as danger!

Getting botox was one of the best things I could have ever done for myself, and you might be surprised to learn where I got it. It allowed me to have the confidence to participate in a flash mob on the busy streets of Milwaukee… probably the only flash mob I’ll ever be in.

Given my new found confidence, its only fitting I admit my egomaniac ways, forcing people to compliment me in order to feel better about myself. Believe it or not, it works…works very well.

Being told marriage is horrible before even getting married, is enough to want to have the best godly marriage possible.

It took awhile, but August is when I finally realized the importance of putting my phone down while driving, for good. I’m happy to say I haven’t done it since. The risks that we take texting and driving are unbelievable. I’m not sure I’d ever be able to forgive myself if I got into an accident while texting.

Its no surprise that I love Hawaii sunsets and this one just might be my all time favorite sunset. Taken with my “Monty” who performed like a dream with the absolute most beautiful sunset I’d ever witnessed.

I don’t think I’ll ever not have a PSA for you from time to time, so hopefully it didn’t come as too much of a surprise for me to have yet another one for you recently. But this was completely at my expense.  Sacrificing myself for your greater good. That’s what I’m all about here…you’re more than welcome.

This new year, I’m wishing you all the best. Not necessarily what you think is the best, but what God knows is best. I’m so thankful for all of you being here with me. I can’t wait for this year to be underway. I’m excited for it. More than excited, I’m flat out tickled and I hope you are too.

Happy New Year!! Here’s to 2013!

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My new look!!

What do you think??? Do you likey?!!?

I worked super hard on it for the past few weeks you know, so if you don’t like it…umm, pretend you do..

If you’re new…or like me and forget what it used to look like the moment the new look comes up, here’s what it used to look like.


I have to credit the sweet and talented Kris at Behold the Metatron for giving me a great blog look for so long. She helped me with the big switch from One Can Hope to Amazing Grapes.
for those not in the know..my blog used to be called “One Can Hope”

I’ve been thinking for a bit that I wanted to try my hand at blog design and decided I could do my own. So, after many google searches and tutorials later, I pulled it off.

I’m so excited for my new look!! I love it! Ok, you can be honest and tell me what you really think. :)

Thanks for all the happy words on yesterday’s post. You guys are the best!

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A thankful me - 13

Its Aaapppppppppppriiiiiiiiillll!!!!! Can I get an AMEN!!

What was it about March that was just.so.miserable!?!?! I was doing my best, but darn! that was a rough month! Now I can happily wait a whole year before experiencing it again.

Something good that came out of March.


Before I get to the nitty gritty,  I have to get you guys to look at something. My friend’s friend’s kid (still with me?) had her first birthday and my friend’s pictures are up on her blog. I thought they were great until I scrolled to the last and about lost myself. Maybe its just me, but darn if I didn’t see it coming. Clever I say…oh so clever.

Check it out and then come speeding back…cause, you still got more to read!
{if you wanna follow her blog, go to the very bottom of her page..she has the best pictures and is a hoot and a holler!}

So about that thanks. I’m thankful for a butt load. yeah, seriously said a butt load…

- 1 1/2 year old chocolate. Its been a serious lifesaver these past few weeks, gnawing on these things every night. Although word to the wise…snickers..not so good over time.

- controlling flyaway and snapped hair by stopping the towel rubbing and brushing of the wet hair. I’ve heard this before, but never cared until I couldn’t take the flyaways and viola! my hair has been tame and even has a nice wave to it. {the vlog I did was air dried no combed hair…you’re welcome}
- LeAnna telling me that if I buy and read a book within 7 days on Amazon, I can return it for a full refund. Ummm, thank you Hunger Games for free!
- Erin always always helping me out with my editing in PSE9. That stuff is tough, guys!! And good ol’ Erin is ALWAYS to my rescue with step by step tips, advice and CC (constructive criticism).
- making a profit off an ex-con. Oh yes I did!! Money exchanged hands and it never felt so good….{because of the profit.} Stay with me here!
- selling my pull up bar off of Craigslist to a couple where the guy just got out of prison. (don’t know what you guys were thinking a second ago…I ain’t no dirty cop!)
- baby E being released from the hospital. He has some therapy to do but is doing and looking really good!
- the “safety” of my guns. …more on that later this week.

So, to recap:
I’ve given you 3 chances to check out my friend Erin’s blog.
Money, guns and inmates were all mentioned in one day.
Not to mention “free” books, chocolate, unfrizzed hair and a healing baby.

…did I miss anything??

what about you?

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On average, 1.5-2 hours

How long does it take for you to write your blog posts?

Mine literally take 1.5 hours or longer…each! Is that too long? There’s moments when I can knock an easy light one out in about 30 minutes, but that’s very rare. Other times, if it’s a deep one for me, it can take upwards to 4 hours. If I’m distracted by the tv or radio, forget about it. Figure to tack on an additional 30-60 minutes.

Maybe there are some of you that are like me. Who really take their time with each post. Write, read, re-read, write some more then re-read again (or 5 more times) before publishing…then re-read again before finding that problem, fix, publish, then close it down.

If you’re anything like me, you’d know that its great when someone acknowledges the post you take time to write by leaving a comment. But are you noticing that maybe not as many people are leaving comments like they used to?

Maybe not, but if you have, it could be of the evil “captcha”. Heard of it? Its also known as ‘word verification’ or ‘the thing everyone and their mother is hating right now’.

Why is everyone hating it? Because of those 2 words right there? They made it 2 words now to enter and a lot of the time, its very very difficult to read. A lot of bloggers are up in arms about it and refusing to comment the moment they see they have to enter these 2 words.

But how can I remove this when there are spammers out there!? Let me tell you. I’ve had verification turned off for almost a year now and have not received 1 spam email. Maybe I’ll eat my words soon but there’s a tab in your dashboard that you can check as often as you’d like.


So, how can you possibly take that step to removing it and have everyone sigh that big huge sigh of relief? (including yourself…trust me) Its simple:

Login to your blogger dashboard. If you’re using the new blogger settings, switch back to the old one.


Click settings.


Click comments. (oh, and while you’re there, switch to pop up window comment, while you’re at it)


Select NO for where it says "Show word verification for comments?" and save!


Easy as that! Any questions???

Ask away…oh oh and for kicks, check to see if your email is attached to your comments. From the dashboard>edit profile>check the box that says ‘show my email address’ and save. Viola! Now, when you leave a comment on a blog, they can reply to it.

Ok, I’ll stop overloading you on a Friday. Have a fabulous fun safe silly weekend for me, okay!?

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I had an anniversary

Where have I been!? I completely missed my one year anniversary for my blog!! It was supposed to be huge and epic and monumental to the point of everyone being amazed and in awe and yet now…nuttin’.

15 days later, I stand on the dock looking out at the empty water where the boat sailed away without me. {nice analogy, no?} Instead of being all, ‘my blog made it a year, hooray. who would have thought all you lovely ‘buddies’ would want to read what I say’ {which seriously, I say frequently}, I instead talked about being given the go to Hawaii after my dad was in the hospital.

::Ce la vie::

It has been great blogging, though. I never knew just how much I’d love it and getting to know so many new and wonderful friends has been a great bonus. I’ve really enjoyed helping new bloggers with tips and tricks and am always happy to show them how to attach their email to their comments so us bloggers can reply to them.

{if you’re not sure what I’m talking about, email me so I can help you}
..and if you have any questions about anything blogging, comment or email and I'd be really happy to help in any way I can. I’m a giver…and sometimes a taker, but mainly a giver.

Since its technically not my blog Anny, I’m going to round out the Maui trip.

The last few days were complete relaxation. (except for the whole Road to Hana thing… we weren’t feeling that at all and turned around 1/2 way into it).


Though we did get fresh Krispy Kreme and see the rain pouring coming back! Which made up for it.


For the first time ever, we took a kayak out to see the whales. Now if you’re anyone who’s anyone, you’ve heard to take a 2 man kayak is relationship suicide. I never could understand that. I’ve heard stories of couples fighting the whole time, getting upset and frustrated with each other the entire time they paddled.

So when it came time for us to hop in, I was really curious how we’d fare. Wouldn’t you know there wasn’t a peep of frustration from either. We paddled in sync and when we weren’t, one would pause to get back in the rhythm. We were happy go lucky the entire time. Even talking about it and glad we weren’t among the couples who fight over paddling.

It was glorious out on the water. 3 whales were near by and we’d hear them blow air and pop up. After an hour of being out in the quiet and peaceful water, we saw one of the whales coming straight toward us. We sat straight up, eager to see how close he’d come. Popping his body up, going back under, then closer; popping up and going back under. We were getting so excited. Not 40 yards away, he pops up again, we sit in awed silence. Then from behind, a speed boat full of rowdy people comes flying in to see the whale…and he never popped up again.

We were so disappointed. As I sit back while G-man paddles us back in, we see his head come up about 200 yards away.

Our final days there, we lounged at the adult pool, sipped our cocktails and shopped our little hearts out.


Got pedicures together (his without nail polish of course) and ate some of the most delicious food we’d ever had. Each morning enjoying the special from their amazing chef and feeling special from the staff.
Waffles with baked pineapple and rum whipped cream…heaven in your mouth!

that’s me and G-man….I’ve got skills.
ok, that’s not me…


{I’m teaching G-man how to get the focus on the correct subject. …still teaching}


Reality struck us hard when we entered the airport where the woman behind the counter was unnecessarily rude and condescending to me about my carry on luggage. I told her I hoped she has a better day, and walked away determined to not have her ruin our good moods.

No more Four Seasons treatment, we were back in the real world again.
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Have you ever taken a kayak with your other half?! How’d you guys do?

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I’m not like you

No matter how hard I try to fit in. Squeeze into your little click or force laugh at a fairly inappropriate comment or start acting like you to see if you’ll notice me, I just will never be like you. And finally? After all these years, I’ve learned it doesn’t matter.

I don’t pretend to understand how a good friend of mine can be friends with me and a person that, no matter how I slice it, just can’t like. It makes me question me..and then my friend. But mostly  me. Why can’t I like this person? Am I not open enough, kind, willing to accept, able to love them regardless of their flaws?

Have I just become so hard in my personality that I don’t even give a person a fighting chance?

Its safe to say everyone who blogs realizes there’s clicks. Girls who stick together, who (some) tease or pick on other bloggers who aren’t in the click. Just like school or work. I don’t think we ever escape the ‘cool kids’ in any part of our lives. I think some bloggers think because we’re adults, we’re “above” all the scheming, lying and trash talking, but you can all think of that one girl at work who is the office gossip. Or who likes to spread rumors, for pleasure, to get ahead or because they feel its their duty. They’ll always be there.

I admit, when I saw what some would call the ‘cool girls’ in blog land, I attempted to befriend them. Some it worked and I learned they’re genuine and in no way put themselves in the category. Others, wouldn’t even give me the time of day {for whatever reason} and as I silently, invisibly {to them} watched them through twitter and their blog, I saw who they really were and was happy they didn’t ‘accept’ me.

I’m me. Not everyone will like me. Heck, I don’t like me some days, but not everyone has to accept me either and I am content with that. I’m learning I don’t need the ‘cool girl’s’ approval in life. I’m happy where I am, who I am, and with the friends I already have and hope to make. Because all my friends are genuine. They aren’t fake, starving for attention, pretending to be something they aren’t. Lying to get noticed or being controversial and making waves for fun.

They are real and loving and they like me because I stay true to myself and don’t compromise. I’m not a ‘make friends to say I have friends’ person, I’m a builder of relationships that last. I fail sometimes but those few I have, I know I’ll have for life.

I think the moment we stop being who we think people want us to be is the moment we’ll truly be happy with ourselves and how God intended us to be. Conforming to a group to fit in, is definitely the last thing, I think He wanted for us.

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Liebster Award

The ever adorable and sweet Claire with Fast Forward Girl awarded me with the Liebster Award. It goes to anyone who has under 200 followers and who they feel deserves a little more recognition. Color me happy, she picked me!

The rules of said award are as follows:
1. Show your thanks by linking to the award giver.
2. Leave links to 5 of your top blogs and leave a sweet comment letting them know.
3. Post the award on your blog.
4. Enjoy and bask in the love.

So let me pick my five who I feel needs to get noticed a wee bit more.

Tabitha with My Cliffnotes: She has become my fast friend and fantastic accountability partner with working out. She’s hilarious and kind and is a great cheerleader when I need and getting on me when I’m slacking. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know her more.

Amy with Dwell in the Season: She is just the sweetest thing ever. Her and her husband are expecting their first baby, and it’s a boy! And it is such a treat being able to follow along with her as her belly grows more and more. She has fantastic sewing tutorials on just about everything and even though I don’t know the first thing about it, she makes me want to consider learning.

Katie with J & K: Katie is so fun to know. She’s an animal with finishing up her Masters and now starting her dream internship all while getting settled in their very first house they bought. She’s doing the 30 days picture challenge and has been showing some great pictures. Oh and she loves rap. I think I’ll always chuckle at that fact as she doesn’t fit the ‘type’. ;-)

Christina with He Makes All Things New: I personally know Christina. We used to live in the same town years ago and she happens to be my birthday twin. (I’m the older!!) She is sweet as can be, has a passion for NEEDTOBREATHE and the Lord…I probably should flip those, but she is a great person inside and out. Even though she hasn’t blogged since Christmas Eve, her heart is one to get to know.

Erin with Erin Clicks: This dear girl right here is my in real life friend who just started her blog 2 weeks ago. I can’t say enough wonderful things about her OR her photography as IT.IS.AMAZING. She’s my go to girl for tips, thoughts, ideas and anything under the sun. I love this girl to death! Like. love! Her humor is spot on with mine. And her kids….adorable. She calls one Moose…you must check her out.

Thank you Claire so so much for giving me the love! I feel it. Now ladies, go spread the love yourselves!

Since I must, let me ease your eyes with an orange grove I came across the other week. I still don’t know why there were hundreds of oranges and lemons on the ground. It was eerie.


If anyone knows, feel free to fill me in.

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I’m a coper, you’re a coper, we’re all copers

Its been 1 whole week I’ve been Facebook free. How oh how have I done it?!!?

Pretty darn easily, if I do say so myself.

In this week, I’ve been on it twice and that’s only because I helped 2 people on 2 separate occasions in their own Facebook accounts.

I haven’t missed it one single day.

Have I been on the internet less since? – No! I still manage to find other sites to suck my time up, so I’m still working on that, but its nice being ‘free’.

Have I started to build better relationships with my Facebook friends since? – No! I’ve only talked to 3 of the 132 friends I’ve had on there. But in all fairness, we weren’t really talking when I was on Facebook.

However, I have been communicating more with one since leaving. Hi Annie!!! *waving*

A week later I still don’t regret my decision to delete my Facebook account.

::~~~::~~~::~~~::~~~::~~~::

In other coping news, I’m coping with not having G-man around since Sunday. No worries, I’m not Debbie Downer over here. It is what it is.

I miss his company, humor, passion over football and the conversations he’d have with me as if I were his ‘guy friend’ talking stats and football history. My eyes may glaze and my ears may get a ringing sound where I only comprehend every 3rd word, but I sit there, give him full eye contact and with a smile nod my head and say ‘hhmm’ when needed.

It makes me feel special that he wants to share something he’s so passionately into with me. So I’m happy to “listen”.

Over the course of me jabbering about the G-man, I’ve had several people ask me to post a picture of him.

I wish I could. …but I can’t.

I somehow have led people to believe his line of work prevents me to post it, and part of me wants you to keep believing that, because that’s just cool sounding. Not to say it isn’t entirely true. His line of work can put him in danger. He does travel overseas, where I never say the country, because its for his safety.

But when it comes to the picture, its simply because he does not want me to post it.

I’ve asked. Waited a few months and asked again and each time its always no. I’m not going to ever post a picture without his authorization, so until that time, I’ll continue to show his hand, or arm, or back.
oop..and a leg

He’s a private man, this one. He doesn’t like being all over the internet. He still doesn’t grasp me blogging and I just about never bring it up to him. He actually doesn’t even read my blog. {shocker?} As he puts it, he doesn’t want to interfere with my creativity by reading it. Meaning…he doesn’t want to read it, not like it and tell me how much he doesn’t like it, so he just doesn’t read it.

For the record, I got him to read my first two posts when I first started, to get his opinion. We were both nervous. Him, because he knew if it sucked, he’d tell me and didn’t want to hurt my feelings and me because I knew if he thought it sucked, he’d tell me…and it would hurt my feelings.

In the end, he thought I actually wrote quite well, but declared he wouldn’t read anymore…the creativity and all.

So in the meantime, we all are going to have to continue to cope with the fact that I can’t share with you my one and only G-man. But one day, my friends. One day I will get that approval and you can bet your fanny I will post my little heart out until he or you scream stop.

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I confess..

Linking up with Mamarazzi over at Dandelion Wishes, for the first time, today. = )

I confess..
I hand wash all my dishes even though I have a perfectly good working dishwasher. I use it only to hold the dishes to dry.

I confess..
if I want something..anything, I have to bite my tongue to keep from ‘casually mentioning’ it to G-man, because, he will get it for me, no matter what it is.

I confess..
when he randomly calls me up and asks if I want an iPad, Bose noise cancellation headphones, camera lens, ect…I have to tell him no. Even though I really want them, I still say no because he will buy it all. And it is hard!

I confess..
I love him oh so much, and not just because he likes to buy me things, but because he really is the most sweet hearted generous caring man, I know….and he’s pretty darn cute to me.

I confess..
I don’t understand when other bloggers complain about getting mean and rude anonymous comments. You have the power to change your settings to prevent people from leaving anonymous comments but yet you complain month after month about getting one after another.

I confess..
I always wonder if they just like complaining about them to get attention and sympathy from other bloggers and their readers.

I confess..
I’ve always wanted to be pregnant and to know what it feels like to be pregnant. Always!

I confess..
about 50% of my days, I don’t want kids..which contradicts the whole pregnancy thing.

I confess..
I hang up mid sentence on bad customer service reps and call back pretending I get disconnected, just so I can talk to someone much better..and it works every time.

and I confess..
Every time I spell the words ‘every’ and ‘time’ I put them together. My brain keeps thinking its 1 word and I believe they should just go ahead and make it 1 word. everytime… <—who’s with me?!

Wow, that was kinda fun.

Have a super duper great weekend, everyone!!

oh and please know, I’m not talking about you regarding the blogger/comment thing. I have never heard any of you complaining about it….just others.

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Happiness in the form of a blog

Obviously the cat is out of the bag and I have a new blog name and look. Thank you for all who said you loved it. I’m quite partial to it. It’s amazing how much thought goes into choosing a new name. I did A LOT of brainstorming for names, came up with a ton of different ones and hashed them out with my momma and ultimately chose Amazing grapes, which I actually find pretty funny. The play on the word…and it does have another meaning to me personally, but alas, it’s personal.

It fits me perfectly and is an easy transition to my “future life” if that may come about at some point in time.

Back in June, I won an amazing giveaway from the lovely and brand new mother, Blair with wild and precious. She gave me a free banner and button (my first ever! grab it, it’s yours!) from the ever so sweet Kris with behold the metatron. I had to wait for my surgery and recovery to pass as well as wait for the grapes to grow in the vineyards so it took well over a month to begin ‘the making.’

Kris was great to work with, letting me ask a bunch of questions and really listened to what I wanted, tweaking things to just how I wanted and I couldn’t be happier. I highly recommend Kris to anyone who wants a complete new look or just a couple things here and there to make your blog look fresh and new! By the way, she just had a birthday Wednesday AND just got engaged a couple days before that (great week, I’d say) so make sure you tell her congrats!

I can’t tell you all how happy having this little here blog has made me. I’m realizing I enjoy writing a lot and then you all have such sweet things to say and the encouragement…its really made me enjoy it even more. Definitely can’t say enough about you guys!

Today I’m off to my parents house for the big birthday weekend. I don’t know what we’ll be doing but I’ll be spending it with my parents, sis and her family, so I have no doubt I will have a great time. I hope you lovelies have a wonderful weekend. I’ll leave you with pictures of my 29th birthday.
We went to Hilo on the Big Island of Hawaii


An active volcano that I don’t remember what its called. G-man would know..


Actual lava flowing from beneath. It was so neat to see. Big thanks to my zoom lens for this!


Lava pouring into the ocean


For the record, that helicopter shouldn’t be that close to us. The smoke is from the trees on fire from the lava.




Afterward, we took the long drive to the cliffs




I’m such a rebel


My attempt to take a picture of us on a timer with the lava that covered the road. It cut our heads off. The sun had set, so putting it on the ground was the only way to get a picture. People walking by said I was dedicated as I was lying on the road before jumping up and running to G-man.


I’ll talk to you all next month!

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Its over! Its done! Its final! Its finished!

What I’m about to say is going to change my life forever.

have I mentioned I like to be a bit dramatic with news??
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As you know, I’ve alluded to some super exciting news for the past week. Exciting to me, any way. If it makes you excited then shoot, let’s bask in this excitement together, shall we?

I have officially been approved for disability retirement! YAAAAHHHOOOOO!!
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It’s over. No more wondering how much longer it will take.

It’s done. They’ve deemed me incapable of performing my duties anymore.

It’s final. They’ve approved me and filed the forms to medically retire me.

It’s finished. My career, after 6 months of waiting, is over. I’m officially no longer a Correctional Sergeant for the California Department of Corrections.

I can’t believe it’s finally over. It’s amazing how much God has shown Himself to me. How much I’ve learned to trust and rely on Him each and every month for everything. Money, food, strength, faith. Each and every time He delivered. Not to say I didn’t doubt or fear or plain freak out and question how I’d ever get through this time, but there He was faithfully providing for me and showing me He is plenty enough for me each day.

One major thing He taught me was learning to go from living with a $4500 a month budget to living with a $1400 a month budget. It still amazes me that I am completely content living with my new budget and stuns me that I used to spend $4500 each month. (a lot went into savings, I’m not a total spender) but I definitely was very free with my money. Anything I wanted at any time without thought. Now, if I happen to go into a clothing store, I have to figure that $30 I spent is taken out of groceries. I’m very conscious of what and how much I spend.

With this retirement, I’ll now be receiving a disability check and be blessed with insurance for as long as this disability goes on. As you may know, during this whole 6 month process, they weren’t allowing me to work and therefore have gone 6 months without any sort of pay. Knowing I’ll be getting retro paid for these 6 months will be a sweet relief.

Praise God for this. Truly! Once everything is all said and done, and I’m completely healed from this current surgery, I will finally be able to find a new job. (which terrifies me) The next couple months will be a very big transition in my life.

This is the whole reason I ever started this blog. To share the tough times, to ‘hope’ they’ll approve my retirement, to show all that God was doing in my life through it all. It’s been great looking back at some of those posts and seeing His work in my life.

So with this new chapter comes a new blog name and design, and what better way to do it but by winning an awesome giveaway!! I won a new header and button from wild and precious and can’t wait to change it all up. Yippy!! So keep an eye out for some changes in the near future. Kris from behold the metatron gets to change things up for me! I’m still working on a name. I can’t be ‘hoping’ and ‘crossing anymore bridges’ since I’ve crossed it. Yahoo!! But I’m thinking I may keep my URL, though I’m still deciding that. I always need to ‘keep the faith going’ so that just might stay. Any thoughts??

Thanks family and friends and all my new blogging friends for all your encouraging words and support through these past 6 months! I could never have done it without you!

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Happy 100 to me

So this marks my 100th post. Insane in the membrane…Insane in the brain!!

Ok, tell me you all just sang that along with me, so I don’t feel like a complete dork.

What will I do today to commemorate my 100th post, you ask? Well, I think I’ll do what most do (I’m such a follower) and talk about myself, of course! haha, I kid. I kid..sorta

Since my very first post back in February, I went from my 1 friend following me to 34 wonderful people willing to read about lil’ ol’ me. Ya’ll make me smile with each and every comment you leave me. Cross my heart it’s true!

Since I feel I’m full of wisdom (no, not full of hot air…WISDOM) I felt I should share some with you so you too can feel what I feel daily.

- When you spend decent money on patio furniture, take a little bit better care of the cushions, so you can actually utilize the furniture.


Tears me up every time I see my sad chairs sitting outside all lonesome, wondering why I have been so negligent.

…did you think it would be blogging wisdom? Alright alright, I guess I can do that too.

- If you have a blogger account, check to see if your email address is enabled. This let’s me and everyone else respond to your comment you’ve thoughtfully taken the time to leave. Here’s how you do it: go into your dashboard and click “edit profile” beside your picture.  Then check the box next to “show my email address” (if it isn’t checked) and BAM! now we can respond to your comment or question you left.

It’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. Promise.

-  Break up your paragraphs. If you see my first, second and third posts that I ever wrote, you’d see how big my paragraphs were. Loooong and kinda hard to read. (albeit good stuff )
But if you shorten your paragraphs down, we the reader have a much better experience with your blog. And it really helps the eyes too.

Then there’s the obvious:
- No music
- Get the pop up comment box
- Remove the funky word we have to write. (now, I just did this to test it out. It doesn’t bother me all that much to type it in, but apparently it bothers A LOT of other bloggers and some won’t even leave comments because of it. They claim you’ll get a lot more comments when you remove it. Eh, I guess we’ll see.)
- Simplify things

And then for me, personally, I like when the print isn’t itty bitty or in such a pale color, my eyes strain to read the print. OR the background is all black. For some reason, all black backgrounds REALLY hurt my eyes. I’ll generally leave the blog immediately if I see that. As good as it may be, it’s not worth the pain.

I better stop there. If I continue then ya’ll will have as much wisdom as me and then, what fun would that be for me? Am I right?

Thanks everyone for a great 5 months of blogging!! I’ve loved getting to know you all!

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