I’m not like you

No matter how hard I try to fit in. Squeeze into your little click or force laugh at a fairly inappropriate comment or start acting like you to see if you’ll notice me, I just will never be like you. And finally? After all these years, I’ve learned it doesn’t matter.

I don’t pretend to understand how a good friend of mine can be friends with me and a person that, no matter how I slice it, just can’t like. It makes me question me..and then my friend. But mostly  me. Why can’t I like this person? Am I not open enough, kind, willing to accept, able to love them regardless of their flaws?

Have I just become so hard in my personality that I don’t even give a person a fighting chance?

Its safe to say everyone who blogs realizes there’s clicks. Girls who stick together, who (some) tease or pick on other bloggers who aren’t in the click. Just like school or work. I don’t think we ever escape the ‘cool kids’ in any part of our lives. I think some bloggers think because we’re adults, we’re “above” all the scheming, lying and trash talking, but you can all think of that one girl at work who is the office gossip. Or who likes to spread rumors, for pleasure, to get ahead or because they feel its their duty. They’ll always be there.

I admit, when I saw what some would call the ‘cool girls’ in blog land, I attempted to befriend them. Some it worked and I learned they’re genuine and in no way put themselves in the category. Others, wouldn’t even give me the time of day {for whatever reason} and as I silently, invisibly {to them} watched them through twitter and their blog, I saw who they really were and was happy they didn’t ‘accept’ me.

I’m me. Not everyone will like me. Heck, I don’t like me some days, but not everyone has to accept me either and I am content with that. I’m learning I don’t need the ‘cool girl’s’ approval in life. I’m happy where I am, who I am, and with the friends I already have and hope to make. Because all my friends are genuine. They aren’t fake, starving for attention, pretending to be something they aren’t. Lying to get noticed or being controversial and making waves for fun.

They are real and loving and they like me because I stay true to myself and don’t compromise. I’m not a ‘make friends to say I have friends’ person, I’m a builder of relationships that last. I fail sometimes but those few I have, I know I’ll have for life.

I think the moment we stop being who we think people want us to be is the moment we’ll truly be happy with ourselves and how God intended us to be. Conforming to a group to fit in, is definitely the last thing, I think He wanted for us.

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