Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I’m not like you

No matter how hard I try to fit in. Squeeze into your little click or force laugh at a fairly inappropriate comment or start acting like you to see if you’ll notice me, I just will never be like you. And finally? After all these years, I’ve learned it doesn’t matter.

I don’t pretend to understand how a good friend of mine can be friends with me and a person that, no matter how I slice it, just can’t like. It makes me question me..and then my friend. But mostly  me. Why can’t I like this person? Am I not open enough, kind, willing to accept, able to love them regardless of their flaws?

Have I just become so hard in my personality that I don’t even give a person a fighting chance?

Its safe to say everyone who blogs realizes there’s clicks. Girls who stick together, who (some) tease or pick on other bloggers who aren’t in the click. Just like school or work. I don’t think we ever escape the ‘cool kids’ in any part of our lives. I think some bloggers think because we’re adults, we’re “above” all the scheming, lying and trash talking, but you can all think of that one girl at work who is the office gossip. Or who likes to spread rumors, for pleasure, to get ahead or because they feel its their duty. They’ll always be there.

I admit, when I saw what some would call the ‘cool girls’ in blog land, I attempted to befriend them. Some it worked and I learned they’re genuine and in no way put themselves in the category. Others, wouldn’t even give me the time of day {for whatever reason} and as I silently, invisibly {to them} watched them through twitter and their blog, I saw who they really were and was happy they didn’t ‘accept’ me.

I’m me. Not everyone will like me. Heck, I don’t like me some days, but not everyone has to accept me either and I am content with that. I’m learning I don’t need the ‘cool girl’s’ approval in life. I’m happy where I am, who I am, and with the friends I already have and hope to make. Because all my friends are genuine. They aren’t fake, starving for attention, pretending to be something they aren’t. Lying to get noticed or being controversial and making waves for fun.

They are real and loving and they like me because I stay true to myself and don’t compromise. I’m not a ‘make friends to say I have friends’ person, I’m a builder of relationships that last. I fail sometimes but those few I have, I know I’ll have for life.

I think the moment we stop being who we think people want us to be is the moment we’ll truly be happy with ourselves and how God intended us to be. Conforming to a group to fit in, is definitely the last thing, I think He wanted for us.

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LeAnna said...

Aaaaaamen. It's just a prevelant online as it is in person. Sin nature is sin nature, thought, typed or spoken. When we stand before God it won't be a matter of "well done, good and popular person" it will be about if we picked up our Cross and followed Him. And typically, that doesn't involve being widely popular. ;)

Annie M Culley said...

AMEN! Don't EVER pretend to be something you are not! I am who I am! Read Dr Seuss "Happy Birthday to You". It explains this well!

Nicolle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lib at Truly His said...

Emily, so thankful for a blog like yours that comments on little blogs like mine and when I know you take time to read my thoughts and blogs. I love you blog so never stop!!

Laura said...

I'm semi new to blogging and really had NO idea that there was a mean-girls blogging clique.

Obviously I've come across many many people in school, work and real life scenarios that are like you described and I wouldnt want to ever assocaite myself with them.

Dont ever compromise who you are to try to fit in with someone elses group.


arielle @ a beautiful journey. said...

what an awesome and such a true post! i feel the same way many, many times. not just in the whole blog world but i have always felt that way in life as well. loved this!!

Emily said...

Thank you so much for this post.... It's amazingly true! I have a real life friend that has a blog & now that I'm blogging as well her blog clique is just too cool for me. I completely don't understand people sometime!

Stacia said...

You blog is so fun to read! :)

michellenotwithstanding said...

Well, said! And, this is just one of the MANY reasons why I love you, Em. I am so proud to be your friend! Hugs... <3

Tatiana said...

First of all, I hope I'm one of your nice AND cool blog friends. I actually know I am. Maybe not the most humble of them though.
Second, this is one of my most fave posts of yours. This has been on my mind so much! Let me tell you, just today I was thinking how sometimes blogging feels like high school, with the popular and non popular kids. Except that some of the popular ones know it's not cool to be a 'mean girl' so they act like they're not, when really, they're total witches. And by witches I mean the other word. Hey, I'm just keeping it real.
Love you Emmers!

Daisy said...

Thank you so much for this post! This is exactly what I needed to hear. Seriously. Thanks.

Kendra said...

This has been on my heart a lot lately, too, especially since I joined twitter back in November. The clique thing is so weird and uncomfortable, and it's especially disheartening that it's so prevalent among Christian woman bloggers who are supposed to be the light & salt of the world around them. It's so good to have real, true blue friends and to be totally content with them. I am definitely not one of the "cool girl" bloggers haha, I've never been the cool girl in any circle really. It's freeing to realize that we're all unique in Christ and we don't have to "fit in" to some mold.

Ross said...

I think this is really well said! I'm a real believer in being true to oneself. The friendships that come out of that as a result are so much stronger and last so much longer.

carissa at lowercase letters said...

i agree with LeAnna. sin is sin is sin and we're all rotten humans. thank the Lord for grace.

not that it means much, but i think you're super rad, awesome, cool, and fantastic, and (insert any other great adjective here). : )

thanks for always being real!!!

Stephanie said...

This is SO GREAT! Blogging is supposed to be an expression of you, what you like, who you are, and sometimes it seems like people lose sight of that. If you have to be someone else on your blog then what's the point? I love it when I come across blogs that are genuine and honest. Like yours. : )

Ashley said... seems like YOU can read my mind. seriously. there have times where a certain topic will be on my mind or heart...i hop onto blogger and see a post of yours and it speaks volumes with me!

i've actually been thinking about this very topic for a couple weeks now and totally agree with everything you said.

i love blogger for sooo many reasons and i get excited to see new posts from some of my favs. i always read, but may not always comment.

i've been reflecting on my blog and why i started it in the first place. i didn't start blogging for an audience, but for me. to document certain "episodes" in my life and be able to look back at each and every post. i need to start blogging for me again and not worry so much about what others may think, or unfollow me or if i'm labled a "cool girl". i can only be me and i need to embrace that!

thank you for posting this em!

Christina said...

I have yet to experience the cliques of the blogger world...probably because I don't really put myself out there. If people find me and follow me, great! If not, I'm okay with that. I write from my heart, not necessarily for an audience. Although I do admit, I can get caught up in the feeling that when I think I write something great and no one acknowledges it...sigh. Haha. But in real life, cliques still abound. I find myself not feeling cool enough to hang out with certain people...and I have been out of high school for over a decade! What is up with that?

Anyway, you and I are awesome. Keep being you and blogging about your journey. Those that love you will follow you and encourage you.

Bailey Schneider said...

How refreshing!! What a lovely post! Preach!
Love Bailey from Vanilla Blonde x

Colleen said...

There's a blogger clic? That's how far off I am from cool - I didn't even know that. I'm with ya.


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