Changing the direction

No, I’m not changing the direction of my blog. Like it ever had a direction to begin with.  I’m talking about changing up your direction to and from work. Or to and from home.

Yes, this will be a paranoid post by yours truly.

Remember, I’m an expert in these things… Almost from the beginning I was told it was important to never establish a routine in prison. Never walk the tier in the same direction twice, never leave the office at the same time, never go the bathroom, make a phone call, open a cell door, eat your lunch, pop inmates out at the same time every day… doing things like “clock work” was or could very well be your death sentence (or someone else’s)

Same can be applied to your day to day life.

I have to drive through the ghetto in order to get to work. You can change the name to lessen the blow; ‘less than desirable part of town’ but either way, it’s a druggie filled area that I get to work in… I get to watch the same druggies walk by the office and in so doing see whether they’re drug free (at that moment in time) or doped up as they walk by. Not to mention the gang members, homeless, scam artists and families who love them, smoking in their baby’s face while they walk by my lovely floor to ceiling window.

I started to develop the same route to and from work. Driving the same road where they’d all be hanging out at the liquor store and in their front yards watching cars go by. Where the girl would be spraying her husband’s face with the water hose while he had to do pushups in their front walk way and him not being able to breathe…you know, the normal things couples do for all to witness.

It wasn’t until one Friday morning, I was driving down the road and there were cars and people everywhere, lined up over a block long at the Salvation Army, that this one beat up mini van was going under 5mph for reasons I do not know. I couldn’t take it any longer and blared my horn nice and long and when I finally had that inch I needed, sped past him. It wasn’t until that moment I realized I may have rocked the boat on my route a bit.

There were a lot of people out that morning who heard the horn, saw the car and no doubt, saw me. I’m sure they’re used to noise and drama but I would prefer to stay out of it, so I realized it was time I took a break from that route. For the next 3 weeks, I went a different direction to and from work. Alternating between 2 routes. It was longer and more painful since there was more traffic, but I wanted to break the routine I had created.

Now I change it up between 4 different routes. Never taking the same street twice in one day. You can call me paranoid, obsessive, crazy or whatever else you want to think of, but there’s one thing I will always be. And that’s cautious.
via
They watch you. They see the direction you drive and they see the time you drive it. They know when you get home, when you arrive at work and the minute you pass by their place.

My advice to you is: Change it up. Find a different route to work, to home, to school. Make if more difficult for those who are looking to track your schedule. Oh, and of course…take those stupid decal stickers off…cause you know, that’s an obvious bullseye.

Do you take the same route every day or do you make the effort to change it up?

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I got botox

via kissmekwik

It’s true. It’s true, I got botox, and I loooooooove that I did!

I suppose I should explain since I’ll be bursting many bubbles here. It wasn’t botox cosmetic, but just botox. Did you know there’s 2 different kinds? “Botox cosmetic” is the face freezing muscle kind. “Botox” is for everything else. Feel free to read all about it on the mayo clinic's website.

So why would I possibly need botox and why would I ever go through with such a horrible thing?? {as some may see it} Because this girl here has suffered with an embarrassing thing called excessive sweating for over 15 years. When I say excessive sweating…I mean excessive sweating. Running down the side of my body excessive.

Paint a nice picture for you? You’re welcome.

And with excessive sweating comes its morbidly embarrassing constant companion…smell. I did everything I could think of to help this issue. I switched to men’s deodorant for years, but it did little to help, though it was far better than women’s…and cheaper too! Seriously, I didn’t realize we pay twice the amount for 1/2 the size for women’s deodorant! What a crock! – I digress.

I used the extremely painful ‘stop sweating’ roll ons w/lots of aluminum that left me burning for days. I did everything imaginable… remember G-man and my first date? With the napkins?? Yeah, who wants to smell on the first date!!?

So when I talked with my amazing Dermatologist about my ever so sensitive issue, she assured me botox would fix everything! I was quickly on board. Others in my life *cough* G-man *cough* weren’t so keen on the idea. But when a lot of our relationship revolves around me asking him to do the ‘smell test’ <that’s love, people!> …. I felt it was worth whatever risks there may be, because a girl can only take so much humiliation asking and changing of clothes, sometimes up to 3 times a day.

The confidence is pretty much non existent at that point.

Fast forward to the day. There I lay in the chair, with each underarm plastered with betadine and baking soda with 2 lamps pointed on each to promote as much sweating as possible. My view for over an hour.

Finally it was time. It was incredibly easy to get done, pokes in the left..pokes in the right, and bam all done. Virtually pain free. The botox weakens the action of the sweat glands, in case you’re wondering.

~I took pictures of my armpit afterward but I realized you probably have no desire to see an armpit, so I spared you. you’re welcome~

She said it would take up to a week to see the results and they'd be subtle, but friends, let me tell you by the next day I could tell. It is amazing! When I knew there should be “my” sweat, there wasn’t. Even by the end of the day, I still had a clean smell. I can’t even express to you how thrilled I was.

Do I still sweat? Yes. but as a normal person would, as I like to think of it. Its been 3 weeks and my confidence is through the roof. I’m back on women’s deodorant and enjoy smelling like a girl again. I enjoy being able to leave my arms at my side and not fear what’s brewing, or raise them high in the air and not have to do the quick smell test to see if I need to put them back down.

I’m beyond relieved I got this done. Its needed every 6 months, and all I can say is I’ll be enjoying every day of these 6 months until I get it done again and I’ll be enjoying those 6 months that follow.

The ultimate test was the plane ride to Milwaukee. Normally one of the worst moments for me as I have to take a back up shirt to change midway, but I passed with flying colors, I couldn’t believe the difference. I even stayed in the same top until 1am the next morning, I was blown away and truly thankful for this procedure.
                                                                                           my plane outfit


Tell me:
Would you ever get either botox? Which one?

Are you against getting any form of botox done?

There’s many different medical conditions that botox helps with, its not the superficial reasons many associate with it. Here's just a few.

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It happens today…

I’ve been getting trained by the person who’s job I’m taking over.

In other words. She’s unknowingly been training me to take her job.

After a few weeks of working, I realized something. The company didn’t create a position for me like they said they did….but instead, they finally found a person to replace the woman who they’ve wanted to fire for months now. And that person is me.

Maybe in some way they did create it. Hard to say, but it was obvious to me after having a ‘top secret’ meeting with the higher ups that they were eager to fire this woman and have me take over as Office Manager. Only catch is, they were confident she wouldn’t go down without a fight and the best way for me to learn all that position holds is to have her train me without knowing.

And that’s just what she’s been doing…training me to take over. Sadly, I believe when they tell her, it won’t go over well. And sadly, I believe this is the only way to have me learn because I know she won’t help in any way the moment she finds out. I actually believe she might do things…sabotage-ee things once it happens, but I’m just going to wait and see if that’s true.

I sure hope it isn’t, but even her boss told me to come in and copy all her files while she’s at lunch, in case she deletes them all. So I did…and felt a little like a spy while doing it.
I named it the ‘ninja folder’

I understand why they need to fire her. I’m getting trained by her after all, and I have eyes…and ears. Its obvious, but I do feel bad. Its rather devious and she really has no clue at all. Like, at all!

For all she knows, I’m learning solely to help on days she’s out sick. But it happens today and thankfully I’ll be in the other office and won’t witness the spectacle.

All I know is I have to play coy. I can never ever in my time with this company, let on I knew anything about this. So as far as you and I know, I was minding my own business in the other office when they offered me the position at this office after the fact…more pay..more responsibility...more opportunity for growth… how could a girl turn something like that down!?

Its only business.

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You don’t look like an idiot

Says the woman I’ve known for a total of 4 days.

I choked on my water when she said this. –Gee thanks… I guess that’s a compliment??

She goes on to say, when she heard they were conducting interviews for a position, she hoped they wouldn’t hire an idiot…and then I walked in {apparently} and her first thought was, ‘oh, this girl doesn’t look like an idiot.’

Boy, am I SO glad I don’t look like an idiot!! After getting hired, 4 days of work later she tells me this fact, again stating, I don’t look like an idiot and don’t appear to be one, since getting to know me.

-again, thank you…??

I’m not sure why people feel its okay to be so bold like this. I guess, since it’s a positive (to them) they feel it should be shared. I don’t know. But share she did. I guess I’m relieved, as maybe others would if they were told they didn’t look like an idiot….

So YES!! I have a job! Its been over a month now and I’m still catching on. I’ll be catching on for a very long time..which I’ll go into in due time, as to why. Lotsa little top secret things going on that I’d rather wait until after its happened to blab.

This is the main reason I’ve had zero time to blog, zero time to return emails quickly, zero time to blog hop and return the blog love and zero time to be lazy. Weird, they won’t let me be lazy there…might have to talk to the CEO about that one.

Here’s a few other comments I’ve received from my new co-workers…

~I knew you’d know what you were doing the moment I saw you **sidenote: I’ve never worked in this field before, I know nothing**
~You’re very professional looking.
~You act very professional. **apparently others do not**
~I knew you were smart when I first met you.
~We’ve already told the CEO we think you’re great and we like you a lot {after meeting them once}
~I haven’t seen the CEO yet this week, but when I do, I’m going to tell him nothing but great things about you.

There’s 2 offices that I’m going back and forth from right now and after working the 2nd office for the first time, I received 2 text messages. 1 from the Lead Manager of that office and 1 from the CEO.

you bet I saved them

I couldn’t believe they texted me. I’m not accustomed to getting texts of praise from management, for one. And two, that day was one of the easiest days I had that week. So I had a moment of guilt since I barely did anything that day.

But hey, they like me!! And hopefully that lasts, cause they have big plans for me, as they’ve mentioned several times. (that’s the little top secret stuff I mentioned)

I spent month after nerve wracking month applying for jobs and not getting hardly any responses. I was getting so down over it all and thankful I had so many praying for me. It was very difficult not knowing what I wanted to do. Since working Corrections the past 7 years and off work for the past 2 since retiring, I was applying for virtually everything under the sun. I was confident no one would give me a chance because my resume showed Dept. of Corrections, and anyone who thinks of that job has a certain stereotype associated with it.

I can’t fault them, shoot, I stereotype them! I was just praying for someone to give me a chance and talk to me. Thankfully this company did!..and they’re giving me more than just a chance, which I am blessed beyond belief over. Though they certainly had me nervous when in the interview they agreed I was “overqualified” for the position they were hiring for and they’d feel “guilty for hiring me for such a ‘lowly’ position”.

Not something a person desperately seeking employment wants to hear.

So what did they do??? Create a position just so they could hire me, where they felt it more suited my management experience.

Well, color me happy!

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Turn that leaf over

People, I’ve turned over a new leaf! Please have a seat as I explain the amazingness that I am now.

I walked the 1/4 mile to the high school track to workout! Oh my word, I did! I didn’t drive it like I always do…I walked!!

Can we all just pause a moment to soak in the magnitude of this statement?! – NO? ok, fine.

I realize a 1/4 mile is really pathetic to drive each and every time I wanted to workout, but I blamed it on the concrete..and the cold (and then the heat)..and the fact that if I wanted to workout before and after I actually planned on working out, then I would..but I don’t. Let’s be real.

But this whole stupid $4.29 a gallon junk is keeping me from driving around all willy nilly. I’m a willy nilly driver, guys! And now, I can’t be. I walk to the post office 5 blocks away now. (those are big blocks, okay?!) I no longer drive it. I figure that if I’m going into an adjoining city, to do more than the one errand, so I’ll conserve on gas.

I still drive fast(er), so my mpg isn’t where it could be, but I believe in baby steps and sacrifices.
Ok, so the leaf might not be completely turned. All in good time, I suppose.

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A gentle reminder that one week from today is the link up for the self portraits. A few of you have jumped on board, there’s plenty of time if you’re wanting to have fun with us..only with yourself since we won’t be there, but you get the idea. I’m getting more and more excited to see everyone’s pictures next Wednesday! ..and yes, more and more nervous of doing mine. {tis true}

If you’re wanting to know what kind of poses you should do, check out this website. It offers great ideas on poses.
via Digital Photography School
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Awhile back I did a friend’s family pictures and can’t wait to show them, for now here’s their absolutely beautiful adorable lovable daughter. She’s my favorite..she’s everyone’s favorite, actually!

Since I can’t decide between the color and black and white, I’ll let you decide which you prefer most. I love them both!
her lashes…I covet.

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B-I-D

At 21 I was living in Los Angeles, working 2 jobs. One of those jobs happened to be at California Pizza Kitchen as a hostess. It was a job that allowed me to eat for free each shift. This was essential since I was very poor, unable to really buy groceries for myself. To say I took advantage of each shift’s meal is an understatement.

Full salads, full pizzas always finished off with a dessert. I ate every single bite in front of me. For 8 months of shifts, I ate every bite.

My other job supplied the sweets. Patients would bring cookies and chocolates as thank you and I would take my fair share. Eating chocolate every single day for a month straight. I craved it, had to have it!

And it all quickly began to show. 15lbs were gained. I weighed the most I’d ever weighed. Nothing fit as good; I felt gross, but I couldn’t stop. I craved it all, losing my sense of portion control.


I was under a lot of stress in LA. Which attributed to my eating. I could barely pay rent, my first roommate was a chain smoker with a cat that threw up all the time-everywhere and after I moved, my living situation only got worse with my new roommates stealing my things. I couldn’t take it anymore and moved away.

I relocated to Pismo Beach with my uncle. My uncle, who was seeing a former body builder turned gym owner. After committing to working out 5 days a week and going on a drastic 40-30-30 plan (fats-carbs-protein), the weight was gone. People were commenting on how ‘ripped’ I was, but I never really believed it.


I’d get measured regularly to see if I was losing anymore in my thighs or waist, because I believed I still had a way to go. For a year straight I worked out 5 days a week and probably in some of the best shape I’d been in but I never felt good about myself. Feeling my thighs and calves were never ‘toned enough.’ Never feeling I could wear shorts because of all that ‘jiggle’.

My uncle’s girlfriend said I had BID – Body Image Disorder. What I see isn’t what others see. (obviously) I’m getting told I look one way, yet all I see is this slob who needs to lose the chub in the hips and thighs. It’s a crazy way to think and over the years I’ve worked very hard on not viewing myself that way, but fall back to it sometimes.

What helps in those moments, is remembering what my mom said years ago, that if she looked as good as me {and my sister in law that was there} at our ages, she’d be in shorts every day. And the worse regret is looking back at those years you thought you were chunky or heavy and seeing that you weren’t. All those years wasted on not enjoying how you looked then.

I’ve been wearing shorts for the past 2 1/2 years. I fight the way I think my legs look in them, but I’m enjoying how I look now. I’m very critical of myself, but I want to look back 10-20-30 years from now and be content and not regretful at how I viewed my body and lived my life.

I want you to keep this in mind for yourself, if you struggle with this, tomorrow. I’m doing a little something that I’m really excited about that I hope you’ll join me in, fears and all.

Its time we believe the compliments we’re given.

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Buts, tries and don’ts

Did you pick up on my little play there? Butt, tris and delts? I’m hilarious.

Anyhoo… I used to work for this leadership company that was very very big on not saying “but” “try” and anything with a “not” in it; don’t, can’t, won’t, shouldn’t…you get the gist.

To try just means you won’t do it. will you call me later? yeah, I’ll try to give you a ring. well, we all know it won’t happen. Its either, yes I’ll do it. Or no. Stop trying and just do.

Having a ‘but’ in a sentence completely takes away from your previous line. I love you, but… I wanted to hangout, but… I “tried” to call you, but…  So basically, that but is telling you that what was said before it, wasn’t really true. (maybe in some cases.)
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They did 2 1/2 day “retreats” where a group of grown adults from all over the country, were whisked off into the middle of the Nevada desert, away from all normal distractions to fully focus on the class.

The 1st class was the toughest. They screamed and yelled like drill sergeants. Wouldn’t crack a smile no matter what was done. Putting everyone in uncomfortable circumstances to essentially break them. Some would walk out and demand a drive home, but most stayed till the end, getting past the uncomfortable situations we were constantly put in.

As freaky as it sounds, I learned and grew a lot that weekend. They instructed us not to make any life changing decisions for 2 1/2 weeks after because everyone’s thoughts and ideas were always abuzz. That’s where I broke a 2 inch thick board in half with my hand. Yessir’ee I did.

The 2nd class was a lot more relaxed and the most fun. It was more about trust and self awareness and not giving into fear. Fear can consume us in our personal and professional life and they took us through ways to combat that.
me at 20…


That’s where you might hear me say, ‘come down here. its safe down here’ and not have anyone but one person get the saying. Its where I had the ability to walk on a hot bed of coals, and be told I’m the slowest person they’d ever seen walk on it; and not feel an ounce of pain.

The mind is amazing to control.

Then the 3rd class was all about communication. Each class is an entire weekend long. They were done over a couple months time, but the last one was the worst for me. Communication. There’s so many ways to communicate. With the body only, in a made up language, with a look. All these different ways were explored and taught to help where you might lack. Finding that rapport with a person. Only, I was paired with a guy who creeped me out and later turned a bit stalker on me.

But this class is where I bent rebar with my hands. Where I learned how to get someone to trust me in a conversation with just my body language and where its possible saying “not” can keep someone from doing something you want them to do.

There’s a reason why I say to people, ‘take this the right way’ vs ‘don’t take this the wrong way.’ Which way are you more apt to follow? Generally, the moment I say ‘the right way’ they’ll chuckle, but I have their full attention. Say it the ‘wrong way’ and they’ll be more likely to…take it the wrong way.

I can get deeper in this if anyone’s interested, unless I’ve completely bored you. Cause that is possible. It was an interesting company, cooky but interesting. I learned a whole heck of a lot that I still apply today, 10 years later, believe it or not.

Do this for me. A little experiment if you will. The next time someone’s talking to you face to face, watch their body language. If they’re sitting forward with their elbows on their knees, mimic them. If they lean back and cross their arms, give it a minute and do the same. Subtly copy the position they’re in and see what they do. If they relax, appear more comfortable or talk to you more. BUT make sure they aren’t aware of what you’re doing.

..and let me know what happens. :)

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My fox lent

Tell me I’m not the only one who says fox instead of faux, for fun?

I don’t do lent. Never have, and honestly, I probably never will. A lot of people do, for all different reasons, but its just not for me.

With that said, I realized there’s been something I’ve stopped eating. Something that I love. If you know me, you already know what it is because I’ve declared my love for it over and over again. I would eat it every single day, sometimes twice..sometimes three times a day, that’s how close we were. Not to mention I’ve sworn on it, to keep a promise.

Cheese!

I didn’t do it intentionally at first. Once I got back home from HI, I had no food and it was too expensive at my local stores, so I vowed to wait for the big Costco run to get it. But then by day 6 of not having it, I started thinking about not getting any at all.

I was telling my friend over the weekend how I’ve stopped eating cheese (by cheese I mean my sharp cheddar cheese), and I went on and on about it until she said, ‘except for that pizza you had Wednesday.’

Darn! Would you believe I completely forgot there was cheese in pizza?!!

Well, that one day I had 2 medium sized slices, I felt horrible. I don’t know if it was the pizza itself or the cheese but I certainly didn’t feel well after.

Every day before and after, I’ve felt great. Flat stomach, no bloating (TMI?), light and generally good. I’m still figuring out whether or not it’s me cutting out cheese as the reason or that I’ve been eating pretty healthy but I like the way I’m feeling.

I’m going to see how long I can go without having my beloved cheddar cheese. Some days are pretty tough, especially when I see my tortillas and tortilla chips sitting there all sad and lonely, wondering why I haven’t had nachos or quesadillas since I’ve been home, but I’m hopeful I can overcome!

Did you give up something for lent? Or in general just to do it?

I’m learning that the older I get the more my body doesn’t like certain foods. Maybe it never liked them and I would ignore it but I can’t ignore it anymore.

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How I kicked the nasty habit

I used to have an addiction. I’m not proud of this. A little ashamed, in fact. I think about the damage its done to my body over the years I ingested it, and cringe knowing I might never recover...


My addiction…coffee creamer.

Say it ain’t so!!? ..oh its so.

It started out normal. I grew up with milk, then 1/2 and 1/2 but as I became an adult, the choices were overwhelming. Vanilla, Hazelnut, Irish Crème, Cinnamon Vanilla…then all the holiday creamers…oh the possibilities were endless!!

But there was one. One that grabbed me and swore it would never let go. Cinnamon Vanilla. We were instantly in love. I spat out everything else. I took it everywhere with me to ensure the best coffee experience. People warned me of the risks, but I didn’t care. I was in love and no one could tell me otherwise.

Then one day, all the stores stopped selling it. It was like they were intervening. Meddling where they didn’t belong. I searched high and low, going into groceries stores I never would normally go, in hopes they would carry it. Not one did. I felt broken.

Until, on a whim, more than 120 miles away, I pulled into the parking lot of a store. My hopes were low as I walked toward the dairy section, and what did my eyes behold? My creamer. My beloved creamer in 2 whole rows! I grabbed 3, embraced them tight and ran to the cashier with a smile as big as can be.

Once my supply ran low, I returned to that same store 120 miles away and saw they didn’t have as many and feared they were beginning to meddle as well. I grabbed the last 2 and made my way home, looking in the backseat with adoring eyes at my 2 beloved creamers tucked tight.

It struck me not much longer after that, my possible addiction. I didn’t want to face it fully but knew I needed to acknowledge something was there. G-man was there to encourage me. Filling me with facts of my beloved creamers poisons all while rubbing my back, soothing me.

I started slow. Only using 1/2 the amount with heavy whipping cream. Then less, then less…until I was completely out and only had heavy whipping cream in its place. It took months to adjust but loved the flavor of coffee again, on its own. Then reality struck….heavy whipping cream wasn’t a great choice either.

With a heavy heart, I began the transition to 1/2 and 1/2. A slow slow process that again took months of fine tuning the right amount of sugar with it, to make me love it once again.

Now I’m hooked. 1/2 and 1/2 and I are best friends. We share our mornings together and laugh over the difficult days filled with withdrawals, but I’ll never regret my choice, my decision, to kick that nasty habit…nay…addiction that was flavored coffee creamer.

*if you face similar addictions, know you aren’t alone and that you have a support group standing by to help you through your difficult times ahead. Don’t let flavored coffee creamer rule you one more day.

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Facebook be gone!

Aaahhhh!! I did it! I can’t believe I finally did it. After making the announcement on my wall, I gave it a few days for everyone to see and then found myself waiting an extra day…then another day, as I scanned each status and new picture as they were posted from the holidays. But last night I took the bull by the horns and deleted my personal Facebook account.

Oh glory be, halleluiah, amen! I’m so happy I did it.

I’ve thought a lot about this lately. For the past year, I’d say. If you remember, even back in July, I wrote just how much Facebook was boring me, so after some thought and some wishy washiness on my part, I finally girded my loins {in the non vulgar way of course} and canceled my account.

:::Phew!:::

I have many reasons…in case you’re asking yourself, why would she do that?!

Well, let me tell ya.

After writing about being bored with it in July, LeAnna send me her reason for cancelling her account. She had many valid points that I actually agreed with. So it left me thinking more about it.


Enter December and Becky giving her reason why she deleted her account all while linking to Neolani’s reason. At that point I was all pumped up. Doing the Rocky dance, gearing myself up for what would be the demise of my Facebook account.

I still hemmed and hawed a bit. Even though I never would comment on anyone’s status or pictures anymore, I still got on there at least an embarrassingly 20 to 30 times a day to scan everything real quick to see what was new and quickly jump off.

It became my wooby. My security blanket routine. Check email, check Facebook, check other email, check Twitter…rinse and repeat.

When I was getting asked from my Facebook friends why I was doing it, since it was a bit of a shock to a lot of them, I put it simply.
my exact answer to them:
Well, you can say I'm tired of being a creeper. Of jumping on FB several times a day to read updates and look at new pictures, never commenting but feeling its 'good enough' to know what that person's up to. I'm tired of people close to me feeling its ok to make a huge announcement via a status update and thinking its adequate, and not a personal call. And feeling frustrated over all the negative statuses and arguments. Of losing the friendship connections, never calling or emailing to have a true conversation, and vice versa. I've been considering this for months and today was the last straw for me seeing someone be rude to someone else. I want true friendships back. To have the effort be made to remain connected and involved in each other's lives.

Everyone seemed to appreciate my reason and asked for my information to keep in touch. Will we, on the few that did? I don’t know but we’ll soon find out. But I’m ok on the ones who were only ‘comparing themselves with me’ to separate myself from them. Or the ones who I hardly knew that were 4 years older than me in high school to not stay up in my business and me not being up in theirs, not to mention all my old co workers.

I’ll miss hearing the little things that my close friends and family will write and share but this will {I hope} encourage us to stay more in touch than before. And I do have this blog. This here blog shows more of me than any Facebook page could ever. With my family being far away and a chance that one day they’ll be even further, my blog will continue to provide them up to date information about all the happenings in my parts.

So there, my friends, is the reason I deleted my Facebook account last night.

Have you been thinking of deleting yours? What’s your reason for hanging on? Pin It Now!

Its over! Its done! Its final! Its finished!

What I’m about to say is going to change my life forever.

have I mentioned I like to be a bit dramatic with news??
via

As you know, I’ve alluded to some super exciting news for the past week. Exciting to me, any way. If it makes you excited then shoot, let’s bask in this excitement together, shall we?

I have officially been approved for disability retirement! YAAAAHHHOOOOO!!
via

It’s over. No more wondering how much longer it will take.

It’s done. They’ve deemed me incapable of performing my duties anymore.

It’s final. They’ve approved me and filed the forms to medically retire me.

It’s finished. My career, after 6 months of waiting, is over. I’m officially no longer a Correctional Sergeant for the California Department of Corrections.

I can’t believe it’s finally over. It’s amazing how much God has shown Himself to me. How much I’ve learned to trust and rely on Him each and every month for everything. Money, food, strength, faith. Each and every time He delivered. Not to say I didn’t doubt or fear or plain freak out and question how I’d ever get through this time, but there He was faithfully providing for me and showing me He is plenty enough for me each day.

One major thing He taught me was learning to go from living with a $4500 a month budget to living with a $1400 a month budget. It still amazes me that I am completely content living with my new budget and stuns me that I used to spend $4500 each month. (a lot went into savings, I’m not a total spender) but I definitely was very free with my money. Anything I wanted at any time without thought. Now, if I happen to go into a clothing store, I have to figure that $30 I spent is taken out of groceries. I’m very conscious of what and how much I spend.

With this retirement, I’ll now be receiving a disability check and be blessed with insurance for as long as this disability goes on. As you may know, during this whole 6 month process, they weren’t allowing me to work and therefore have gone 6 months without any sort of pay. Knowing I’ll be getting retro paid for these 6 months will be a sweet relief.

Praise God for this. Truly! Once everything is all said and done, and I’m completely healed from this current surgery, I will finally be able to find a new job. (which terrifies me) The next couple months will be a very big transition in my life.

This is the whole reason I ever started this blog. To share the tough times, to ‘hope’ they’ll approve my retirement, to show all that God was doing in my life through it all. It’s been great looking back at some of those posts and seeing His work in my life.

So with this new chapter comes a new blog name and design, and what better way to do it but by winning an awesome giveaway!! I won a new header and button from wild and precious and can’t wait to change it all up. Yippy!! So keep an eye out for some changes in the near future. Kris from behold the metatron gets to change things up for me! I’m still working on a name. I can’t be ‘hoping’ and ‘crossing anymore bridges’ since I’ve crossed it. Yahoo!! But I’m thinking I may keep my URL, though I’m still deciding that. I always need to ‘keep the faith going’ so that just might stay. Any thoughts??

Thanks family and friends and all my new blogging friends for all your encouraging words and support through these past 6 months! I could never have done it without you!

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