Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Facebook…you’re boring me

It’s true. It’s boring me. I’m kinda over it too.

I’m caught in a quandary with what to do with it too. If you’re a FB friend of mine, you know I don’t have a picture of myself as my profile, I have every private setting just about set to make it hard for people to figure out its me to ‘friend’ me.

But darn it if they still don’t find me. Remember my little story about my old college friend? Yeah, well, he found me. We do have 5 mutual friends but I hardly ever leave comments on their walls and again, the no profile pic thing and well, I guess when you know my full name and put 2 and 2 together with the mutual friends, it gets a little easier to figure out.

So he is sitting in my ‘I want to be your friend’ pile. I currently have 5 in there. All guys. 4 of them are my old co-workers and then my old college friend. All 5 I don’t want to be FB friends with.

1. I’ve denied his friend request at least twice. (and seriously thought I blocked him) and wonder when he’ll get the hint.
2. Was married when we worked together and while married kept flirting with me and all while he knew I was with G-man. You can see why I don’t want to accept his.
3 and 4. Are co-workers I haven’t worked with since ‘05. One, I barely worked with and don’t understand why he wants to ‘friend’ me. The other, I really got along with but wonder if I ‘friended’ him who else will figure out it’s me.
5. Of course is the college buddy.

So they all just sit there for months before I feel like they forgot they asked me, to be able to secretly deny them. A lot of co-workers over the years have wanted to friend me, but I absolutely did not want them to know my personal information.

Ironic I now have a blog.

But what gets me the most with FB and bothers me to high heaven is there’s no censorship. at all. Everyone announces everything on FB. What’s worse, they no longer feel the importance to take the time to tell their very important news to their loved ones. They instead throw it up on FB for all to read like all the other random people in their lives.

Yep, I’ve been one of them in the past, I’m not immune by any means. But FB sure has changed the way we communicate with everyone now a days, hasn’t it? And not in a good way, in my opinion. So I think of deleting it every now and then; to force me and all my ‘friends’ to go back to the old way of communicating. By phone or even email.

Am I the only one who thinks this? Have you noticed a big change in the way everyone around you communicates since having facebook?

How do you deny friend requests?

Have you stayed away from facebook? Or canceled your account? And if so…how’d you do it!?


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15 comments:

Katie said...

Girl, I'm the same! I even deleted fb completely for like a year and 1/2...but caved and got it back. Mostly because despite my greatest efforts to convert my friends, its how they communicate and plan things and whatnot. ugh.

Natalie said...

For people I don't want to be friends with I'll wait a month or two and then just deny the request and hope they forgot they ever friend requested me, like you. And then every two or three months I'll go through my list and delete the people I have no clue why I'm friends with. Half of them I haven't seen in years anyway. I kinda miss the old days though when people actually talked to you on the phone or e-mailed you, or better yet snail mail. Snail mail was the bomb. It meant getting pretty cards or long letters in the mailbox =D

Sam {fitnessfoodandfaith.blogspot.com} said...

i paused my account for a few months, but missed the stalking, honestly. it's sad, but i like looking through pictures of old friends and seeing what people are up to. it would be nice to go without it, though!

Brandon said...

Nice post! Cool blog too!

Check out mine?

www.electricbrandon.com

If you want, follow it and I'll follow yours.

Ashley said...

I agree...social networking site such as FB have def changed the way most people communicate. I like it, but then I hate it. Sometimes I just wanna hear someone voice instead of reading what they wrote on my wall. I actually just went through and deleted a lot of people I barely talk to. We should be FB friends?? :)

The Blogivers said...

I put my social security number on facebook, right next to my home address. Is that bad...?

angie on maui said...

This is so weird that you should post about this, because I have been lamenting my Facebook account, as well!

Like you, I've seen how there is a general abuse of privacy on that thing and as much as I try to keep some semblance of that--despite having a personal blog--I'm still amazed at what people will put out there on the internet for all the world to see.

I think what bugs me the most about Facebook is that it began as a way to reconnect with old friends, but over time, it just seems like people use it as a tool to be a voyeur into your life. I don't understand why people ask to be "friended", and once you accept, you never hear from them. EVER. It feels more like a popularity thing, people just trolling for a high friend count, but not really taking part in an interactive relationship. Yes, I get that everything is abbreviated these days with technology making everything "instant", but there are times where I wish people would just get back to the basics. If we're friends, let's be "friends", you know?

I've had to weed out my friends list many times over the last year. At first, I gave explanations, but now I just defriend them and block the people who continue to send requests (but never include a personal message - annoying!). I've contemplated deleting my personal account but decided against it since I'm linked to my work FB page as an admin...but I'm getting close to just shutting it down.

And I'm also one of those annoying people who just started a Facebook page for my blog. ;) I guess social networking has gotten the best of me, but I'm still trying to separate the personal from the professional, if that makes any sense.

GreenGirl said...

As you know, I have been FB free for over 5 months now and a GREAT decision on my part...hands down...I have no interest in it at ALL...
It caused stress and drama and was such a time suck...think about how much time you spend looking at other people...and they only show what you "want" them to see.
It caused drama with Brian and I...his sisters made up some fabricated stories about what I had said and his vile female friends used to go on and instigate situations.
Yes, I miss seeing some of my friends online, BUT it shows WHO are your real friends and who are not.
I have a very "close" family member...I am godmother to her sons...since I have deleted facebook she has only called me once.
I find it to be evil if you really want to know.
It causes so much drama and brings you back to like third grade...who is friends with who, who is richer than who, who ended up getting married, etc...
I am good without it, and not looking back...
My "real" friends now pick up the phone and call me, text me or email me...
And not for the whole world to se either...

Becky H. said...

This is a GREAT post! I can totally relate. When it comes to unwanted friend requests I've reached the point in my facebook experience where I can comfortably deny any and everyone that I don't want as a friend. I recently went through my friends list and deleted a ton of people. Now that i'm going to have a baby, I want to be able to post a few pictures of her on my fb account for true friends' eyes only. Instead of making a private album for close friends and family, I decided to delete everyone that had added me just to increase the # on their friends list. . . I know I must've offended a bunch of people but there comes a time when you have to do what's best for you and forget about what others will think. It was a very refreshing thing to do. =) I've been considering deleting the account altogether, but haven't done so because I live so far away from my friends and family and it's one of the only ways (and easiest way) we keep in touch. I may still choose to delete it in the future. Who knows.

Stacia said...

I love all your post! So fun to read! You are so creative! I have facebook issues too. I can't tell you how many times I have denied Charlie Mortenson's friend request... and I actually feel guilt like I'm rude. Blah!

Ashley said...

I feel the same way!!

Megan said...

Ummm, I totally do the exact same thing!! And it really is pretty boring now...especially compared to blogging. I just keep it to stay in touch with my college friends!

Tatiana said...

I'm a total creep and stalk my other friends. And I like to upload pictures for the far away fam. My FB friends are actually my friends and family, and the acquaintances 98% never make the cut. True story. Just like you I've got a box full of pending friend requests that will never happen. I guess I'm a snob when it comes to privacy.

Christina said...

I have felt a bit like this about FB too but I do use it to keep in touch with people, and well, music. That and Twitter. I love the events part of FB, but when I don't have something to accomplish on it, I pretty much do the same. I am keeping mine though. It does have a tiny pull on my heart. Haha.

And there is an option to say you don't know the person, which is supposed to permanently block them from friend requesting you multiple times. It would be a lie I guess, but sometimes it's worth it.

LeAnna said...

Wow, lots of good convo going on in the comments.

I personally deleted mine, six months ago. I got tired of how it cheapened friendships, and how ANNOYING it was that people would "talk" to you on there, but not at the grocery store. Oh my word, that made me SO mad. I had people from our old church who were just nosey, and wanted to be all up in my business. And frankly, that's what FB is about. Being all up in peoples business without having to actually be genuine. I HATE THAT.

I hated the in-your-face amount of info that was available, too. And I was queen of oversharing, so the only way to quit was to QUIT!

So, I deleted mine. Deleted all my pics (which made me emotional) and just went cold turkey. I wrote a post about it if you care to read it, http://thoughtsnwhatnots.blogspot.com/2011/01/unplugging.html

I have to say, it was totally worth it! I miss seeing peoples pictures that don't make their blog, but it's caused me to pick up the phone more...which I think is a good thing.

Oh, and Hubby and I had a rule: No opposite gender friends, unless we were both friends with them. Of course, your situation is different, but if you don't want them on there, you don't have to have them. And if they complain, tell them to pick up the phone and call you and you'd be happy to discuss why. Unless they're a creeper and then don't give them your phone number, k? :)

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