Friday, April 15, 2011

Aw man, now I'm uncomfortable

I don't respond in the most mature way when I think a guy may like me when the feelings aren't reciprocated. Even if he doesn't but I feel like his 'friendly liking' is more than it should be.

I'll get all awkward, distant and avoidy. (it's a word, promise)

My college friend K was my then boyfriend's (or the guy I dated for 4 lame months) dorm roommate. K was great with the girls, in the way of a girl's boy bff. One night we laid on the chapel floor under the pews for 5 hours talking...about the roommate and everything else under the sun. That's just how he was.

He invited me to see Phantom of the Opera with him and his parents in San Francisco. I went and had a great time. A little awkward, especially when his nephews thought we should "be a couple" and said so at dinner, but his parents are great and I was happy to go.

Over the years I'd go visit, he and the guys would come and stay with me, and we talked on the phone all the time... then we were on the phone while I was driving one night and I got super uncomfortable because he was wanting me to come visit him. Nothing out of the ordinary but (this is where my not so mature self comes in) I didn't like the idea anymore...

I was going through the mountains at the time and had taken the wrong turn and was lost so I was making excuses for not responding to the 'come visit me' offer when I lost reception and dropped the call.

...I never called him back. That was 6 years ago. <mature? a little...>

I still think about him. We have mutual friends, but am happy we don't talk anymore.

That brings us to today.

There is a guy that I feel is "friendly". Maybe it's just how he is, like K was, but being around him more and more is making me more and more uncomfortable. So I'm beginning to get avoidy. (again, it. is. a. word)

I could be completely wrong about it all! I'm really bad at picking up when a guy likes me, usually until it's too late. But I think I've been seeing "signs" and I don't know what to do.

Every time I explain to G-man a friendship I've established with a guy (usually a co-worker) and the dinners we'd go on and the topics we'd have, blah blah blah... G-man would say, 'he likes you.'

I always make a face at him and say, 'ewww, no he doesn't.'

And he insists it's obvious to him and rattles off 5 or more reasons why he SEES the guy who I say is just my friend  in fact has feelings for me.

Who knows! I do know that I am a pro at making things awkward. It's my specialty...don't you agree??
Have I now made YOU uncomfortable?

((and can we please note my gray hairs in this picture?? They've now tripled since then.))

I was able to explain to G-man this story in great detail and he believes this guy has a little crush on me. eek! Still hoping not...

Hopefully this image can be extracted from your brain enough to have a fabulous and enjoyable weekend!
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Sam {} said...

male-female friendships are always tricky. it seems like someone always starts liking the other. i guess it's better to have "couple" friends once you are seriously dating or married.

The Blogivers said...

My husband ALWAYS insists that a guy must like me if he shows me any attention - and I guess that is how some guys operate, sadly! But I, too, get really uncomfortable if I feel like a guy (other than my husband) is showing me too much attention and then I feel like I have to cut off all contact or just start being mean to run them off... guess I'm just really mature too :)

Anonymous said...

You're not the only one with this 'avoidy' problem <--which is TOTALLY a word ;-)

I've always had this problem. And I don't think it ever will go away.

Jenni @ Story of My Life said...

Is that a diaper that you're licking Emily? I am sooooo confuuuused!!!

I feel ya on the rest, though. Once you suspect "feelings" are involved, it can get a little weird. :(

Jennifer said...

Haha. I loved this. I really hope that diaper has melted chocolate in it and not poop. That is all.

meme-and-he said...

gahhh that picture!!! and I totally agree. avoidy is definitely a word.

Anonymous said...

Emily...may i ask what the heck you are trying to lick?

Tatiana said...

First, I think I just threw up in my mouth everything that I ate, um, last month.
Second, I must admit I did the same thing at my own baby shower. Still gross. No excuse.
Third, I totally feel you girl. Growing up I always had more guy friends, than girl friend, and I was totally fine with that. However, once I started dating, my boyfriends were not really ok with it. Which made me really mad at first because nothing was going on between me and the other guys. However, now that I'm married, I can completely understand where they are coming from. If it was me, I would probably avoid the guy OR just talk to him more like you would talk to acquaintance and not a friend. This way he'll get the point that you're not interested.

arielle @ a beautiful journey. said...

haha...this is too funny :) and avoidy...definitely a word!

i agree with other male-female friend relationships are tricky after you're married!


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