The itsy bitsy spider

As I mentioned last week, the orchard we went to do our little photo shoot in, was abandoned. Or so I thought. It had weeds at least 3 1/2 feet high with fruit rotting and grass brown and overgrown.

Why wouldn’t I think it was abandoned, right? So when Michelle and I returned a week later, I noticed the rows in between the trees looked a little flatter. Then I thought I smelled fresh cut grass (which I hate the smell of) and before I knew it, far down the orchard, I saw the guy mowing on his tractor. Whoops!

We stayed on the edge within the first couple rows so as not to disturb anything and went to work. I wanted a shot of me through the tall grass so I needed to cross over into the next row and felt since I was wearing my winter boots, I could just cross straight through the trees as apposed to walking all the way around. (I’m lazy)

Charging through unscathed, we begin shooting again when Michelle lets out this gasp and points to this massively large spider in his equally massively large web.

Not 5 inches from where I had just walked.

Needless to say, I said “thank you Jesus” more than once.

Pin It Now!

Have you ever...picture style

I thought I'd do a picture edition of Have you ever. It should be fun...for me any way. I don't know how much you'll enjoy it...or if you even enjoy my little Wednesday 'have you evers'.

Do ya'll even like reading my insanely weird and random facts? You can be honest...I'm a big girl...who has a tendency to cry when sad...but don't let that stop you. I'm tough...Ford tough. (Ok, I don't even own a Ford...but G-man does!)

OKAY, with THAT!

Have you ever had the chance to sit in one of these bad boys?!

- Yes

I had bangs once...makes me look like I'm 19 (I was 26)

I love that you can see G-man in my glasses. <hi, honey!>

yes...that's my purse on the wing. That's how I 'fly'

Have you ever gone up in one of these?

- Yes

The sun was rising right in my eyes. Very bright and very early.

Beautiful Lake Tahoe

Have you ever flown like a bird?

- Yes

Please make sure my harness is tight!

This is my, I'm extremely nervous but will pretend I'm not, smile.

Weeeeeeee

And if you aren't incredibly bored yet...let me officially get you there with this video.

The beginning is the fun part of it....after that, even I'm bored. I don't expect you to watch it all...unless you like the song of course.

Have you ever willingly ran off a mountain before?!

- Yes, by the way, all those people in the background pulled over to watch while we were setting up. It just made me more nervous.

Quick history of it all. G-man took me on base to show me around...did I mention he used to fly F-18's?? Oh yeah, I just did a few days ago.

G-man took me away to Lake Tahoe once he found out I'd never been and always wanted to go and surprised me with a hot air balloon ride over the lake because he knew I have always wanted to do it...and then later that day, scheduled me to go hang gliding, because why?....he knew I always wanted to do it....

He's extremely good to me and extremely good at spoiling me.

*Random Tip: Don't step on the seat. There's a bomb under it.

----

Update before we part ways:

-I seriously need an intervention from my cookies. Someone needs to come in and extract them from my mouth...or better yet, my thighs as they are traveling fast there.

-The spider that played 1/2 dead yesterday and was ultimately set free, I believe was the one that greeted me on my entry wall this morning looking rather spry...well, he be dead now.

Pin It Now!

Where'd you go, little bugger?

I've been sitting at my dining table doing a whole slew of nothing...staring at the computer screen, out the window, at some books, at a spider on the wall behind me.

I actually stared at it for a good 15 seconds imagining it was moving but it wasn't. Ever done that? Making your mind think a stationary object is moving..

Okay, totally naive moment: when I was young, like 12, young. I used to spin and spin and spin...before I grew up and realized how nauseous it makes me and would STOP real quick and everything would be spinning...yeah, I used to think it was a way for me to see the earth spinning.

Are you laughing at me??

Any way, back to present.

I turned back to look at the spider and he's gone. Just disappeared. Where'd the little bugger go!?

The other day I watched 1 spider work a web on my bedroom wall. I didn't have the heart to kill him yet. When I saw him again later that morning, he was resting from all the work. I didn't have the heart to kill him then either. When I went back...he was gone, little bugger.

Clearly he didn't abide by our agreement we made that I would eventually kill him.

I did set one free this morning. He was 1/2 dead any way and right at my front door. So I put him on a paper and dropped him in the dirt.

I'm thinking the bug guy came around to spray, hence all the little critters wanting in.

Does anyone else have a designated shoe for killing spiders? I do!

I call him and still do, The spider killing flip-flop.
oooooohh aaaaaaaaahh

And yes, I have even documented some of it's missions.

Why of course I'll share one with you...so thoughtful to ask.

Here he is stretching before duty.

The Enemy: If he looks big that's because he WAS big. Scary big!!

Blurry because he scared the crap out of me by moving! He apparently didn't get the stay still to photo document your impending death memo. Weird...I could of sworn I sent it earlier...

BAM! Don't enter the house of pain unless you intend to..be..in...pain.
I probably should work on that a little more. Maybe something a little more catchy.

You DEAD, sucka!

I've done extensive research and have deduced that no ordinary shoe or even flip flop will suffice. It has to be a flat sole. No grooves, indents or divots. Flat flat flat, like the earth, flat!...no wait, that's round.

Oh my gosh, we interrupt this for a ridiculous moment!! I stepped away (and you didn't even know it) to google 'flat earth' (because I was chuckling at my little flat earth joke above and...ok) GUESS WHAT I FOUND?!

People ACTUALLY believe the earth is flat and the "Round Earth theory" (as they call it) is just an elaborate hoax! Can you believe it?! They have their own society and EVERYTHING. I won't even bother linking their lame site, but people, seriously...you need help!

And we're back.


I do have to say that the flip flop pictured above has officially retired and handed down it's respectful duties to his grandson, whom I'm proud to say is upholding the family name with honors.

Question:
Does anyone else keep dead spiders on their wall for a few days as a warning to all the other spiders? Pin It Now!