How often do we take risks in our lives?
I ask myself that hardly ever..until recently. The past few months I’ve asked myself a lot of questions. I’ve asked God a lot of questions and the answers I’ve been getting back have pretty much been the same. Trust and do. Do the risky thing like quit my job without another. Trust that He’ll take care of me and provide. Take that trip and trust it’ll work out for His glory in the end.
And I’m seeing that. In a lot of ways.
I have my third interview for the position I want today. Yesterday, I had to take a lie detector test for it. That was stressful. Never done one of those before until then and well, it was interesting. I looked back at my past, before going in and thought over all the things that could be potential problems. In all honestly there was only one thing that I was nervous about coming up. I even reached out to a couple friends voicing my concern, but I wouldn’t know for sure if it would need to come up or if I would be able to keep it quiet.
Turns out it had to come out. And thankfully, I brought it up on my own volition before the polygraph even began, during the ‘interview’ portion. He asked me a series of questions once I finished sharing, asking for more details, and it was tough only because I had forgotten so many of the little things that led to what I had done. But knew what I had done would effect the results of the polygraph had I kept it to myself and not been honest.
True to a ‘lie detector test’, he asked a series of questions before I got hooked up, then repeated the questions two more times while hooked up and it showed that thankfully I was telling the truth on everything, with him wording some of his questions with “other than what we discussed…” so my mind would be clear of that situation. And it worked.
The second round of questioning however had a slightly different outcome. Two questions were asked that I knew the moment I answered them, felt my heart speed up. After the first round was done, I turned and explained them before he had a chance to ask.
have you ever felt ashamed of something you did between 21-29? – no
but it was a yes! Again, falling back on what I had done all those years ago.
have you ever told a serious lie between 21-29? – no
again a yes!
Amazing how it works to reveal what you think you can hide from everyone.
After I explained that I was thinking of the incident, he wrote his notes and reworded the questions with the ‘other than what we discussed’ so my mind could be clear of it and again, it worked.
I see this with my relationship with God. I think I can hide my sins. That just because you can’t see them, that He won’t take note of them Himself, even though He sees them plain as day. That there aren’t going to be repercussions for them. The way it eats away at me. He’s forgiven me, I know this but it doesn’t mean I can continue to sin just for the sake of knowing I’ll always be forgiven them.
The truth will always come out. Whether it happens 2 days from it, 7 years (as in my case) or 30 years. It will always come out. For 7 years I’ve felt ashamed and guilty and talking about it yesterday was tough because I wasn’t sure if it would effect me getting the job, but I know it’s in God’s hands, as its always been. As trite as it is to say, I know He has it all taken care of because I’ve seen it in every single step I’ve taken these past couple months.
7 years ago I took a risk. It was the wrong risk to take. It was a risk that could have cost me my job had they found it out. A risk that let someone keep theirs (for the time being) but would have cost me mine. Its funny to look back and see that I risked my career for someone who didn’t deserve theirs but at the time I thought it was the only way.
Lie detectors will getchya! I know that now firsthand!
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
You can’t lie to a lie detector
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3 comments:
Great post Em! God is always teaching and molding us isn't he? Praying God guides you through this season.
Taking a lie detector is always stressful...I do one before as a "quality" test before we use it on an employee. I get nervous every time and yes for the most part it is because I never know what they are going to ask.
The truth of the matter is that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God and because of that we have grace and prayer. My mom always said to us growing up that "I may not see what you get up to but God is always watching" and it was a very good lesson to learn because it has stayed with me and is something I think about before doing things. Does this mean I don't sin, heck no!!!
I will as I have been, praying for you and that God's will be done in this situation.
Happy birthday month friend.
This is a good post and you make a great point! We can't hind from God. I'm thankful for His grace. Without it, I would be doomed!
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