You’re so vain

By you, I mean me.

I didn’t realize I was SO vain. I mean, I knew I was a bit…who isn’t? {let’s be real} but I felt incredibly vain on Friday when I went to my Dermatologist for a follow up on the little skin issue I had.

I'll be honest, I fully expected her to walk in the room, see my face all happy and clear and her declare that I look fabulous, hug me and beam at the progress. {ok, maybe not hug me…}

Instead, I got nothing.
::ho hum::

So, I graciously moved on from the awkwardness that was, a room without praise, and proceeded to go down my list of random questions pertaining to skin. I won’t embarrass myself bore you with the types of questions but we honed in on 2 itty bitty bumps on my left eyelid and by my right eye. So little that no one in my existence has ever taken notice but big enough that I see and feel them daily and believe everyone can see them from 10 feet away.

Because of that, it was imperative they be removed immediately…especially since it’s the end of the year and I’ve met my deductible…ok, I met my deductible by June, but I know you understand!

While I’m on the table being numbed up, I couldn’t help but feel incredibly vain that I was getting this done. As the nurse/helper guy was injecting my eyes to numb the skin, he said the ‘pinch’ {which I practically didn’t feel} was just how getting botox felt and I said I could totally do it then, since it didn’t hurt at all. Which made me actually consider doing it. …for like .05 seconds. *I have no interest in actually getting botox…for that purpose.

As it turned out, a skin tag {eeeww, gross} was removed from beside my right eye and a cyst like thingy {eewww, even grosser} was removed from my left eyelid, leaving me with bruised and scabbed eyes. {sweet}

I will now proceed to justify my actions to you..ok, and to myself:
I did this because…
- who wants bumps on their face? Not I.
- I knew, over time they would have grown and enlarged.
- please see first justification.

The doctor did unfortunately tell me that I’m prone to these here bumps and to expect them as I continue to age… At that point, I told her she had pepper in her teeth.

Ok, I told her that before she decided to inflict permanent emotional scars on me.

Do you tell perfect strangers they have food in their teeth?
Sometimes, I do but sometimes I chicken out.
I did wait for the nurse/helper guy to leave the room first before doing it so she wouldn’t be completely embarrassed.

Maybe, I’ll just grow facial hair like this guy…then no one will see my lady humps…

via pinterest

can I just say this looks just like an inmate I used to have in my building, years ago? I almost couldn’t put this picture up because I didn’t want to think about the guy, but its too funny not to.

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