My 6th grade “friend”

I was in full preparation mode for the big yard sale I’m having tomorrow, sorting through the closets, the rooms, pricing everything, then hitting the garage. I went through the big storage bins, finding things that *cough* G-man will never miss *cough cough* and coming across a childhood box that my mom dumped bestowed upon me.

Inside were awards, my kindergarden graduation certificate all framed (so cute) and pictures from the years. Sadly some great pictures from my childhood were melted together and I’m not sure if they can be salvaged. If anyone has any great tips for pulling them apart where I can savor them, please let me know. I thought I’d brought all my pictures inside, out of the heat, but missed these and now I’m all sad.

But another thing that I can across…a thing that made me shake my head in pure silliness was a note from an old “friend” from the 6th grade.

Just in case you can’t see it, she writes;
Dear (my last name),
How are you? I am fine. You look like you are sick. Did Jessica B. call you last night. Did you tell her you didn’t want to be her friend? Is she going to sit by you at lunch?
Write back
Lani
ps. Did you have fun at my house?

This is a perfect example of a 6th grade friendship. I feel like we were so close with how intimate this note is. I have to say I wanted to tell Jessica B. I didn’t want to be her friend a lot, though I don’t think I ever did. I was too chicken..and well pretty immature. But I thought this was hilarious and so true to how 11 year olds are with each other. So fickle.

Have a fabulous weekend, my dears! Enjoy watching the Olympic trials or pre-trials. Whatever they are. And seriously, if you know how to pull apart pictures without total damage, let me know! I can’t have my adorableness go to waste!

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They’re heeeeeeeeerre

By ‘they’, I mean me and by ‘here’ I mean back. ..obviously

Hiiiii!!

I’m still recovering though from the trip. They weren’t lying when they said we’d get little to no sleep the whole time. I could sleep for 12 hours and I think I still would need another 12 hours to catch up. But I had suuuuch a great time!

I got home yesterday afternoon and am flooded with a lot to do leading up to this weekend. The busyness doesn’t stop until Sunday. *deep breath*

I’m going to go all into the trip soon, but until then I’ll give my observations about Milwaukee.

- they like their beers
- they like their bars
- they like their cheese
- they like to drink
- they like to drink on weeknights
- they like to drink during the day
- they have Dunkin’ Donuts

That last one could have me relocating this very moment. To be able to walk in the 24/7 coffee shop, buy my own drink AND stock up on coffee for home was heaven. What would have made it more heaven would be if I had seen it on the 1st day and not at the end of the trip.

But I’m not complaining..I got my Dunkin’.
I’ll give you a sneak peek of some of the trip..


from the top
1. comfy travel outfit. Leggings and a sweater (for the chilly) plane I think will be my go to from here on out!
2. eating a massive “egg sandwich”. I think the people from the midwest need to come to the west coast so we can tell them what’s really in a breakfast burrito.
3. our taxi driver photo bombing (while driving) our picture. It was hilarious.
4. playing with lots and lots of jewelry
5. comfy travel outfit number 2, heading home. *sweater off to the side
6. Dallas has amazing seats with leg rests at their airport!!! Loved it. All other airports need to follow suit!

I have a lot of catching up to do on your blogs, so I’ll be making my rounds soon enough. But tell me, how have you guys been!!!?

Fill me in on all the latest, give me the scoop, the 411, the skinny, get me in the know, the deets.

Sound good?

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All these changes

So many changes have happened, I don’t really know how to take it.

Friends, you know I stopped eating cheese months ago. It was my love, my favorite food group, the thing I ate everyday, sometimes 2, 3 times a day. Cheese was me.

Along with cheese, candy became a ‘once upon a time’ eat as well. But after all these months I bought sliced swiss and provolone and I almost cried I hated them both.

They taste horrible!!

What has happened to me!!??

I don’t know who I am anymore.
– I cry.

Then I had my once favorite peanut butter M&M’s just a few days ago (after months and months without) and they too were nasty. They were so fake tasting. So many sad days lately…so many. I think its safe to say I’m a permanently changed woman.

Enough of the sadness! Its Friday and aren’t we all thrilled? Today's my last day before my schedule gets all crazy. And the crazy will last until the following Sunday! Tomorrow I get to get up at 4am to make my 7am flight in the city. I'm already curled up in the fetal position thinking about it. I don't look forward to the long flight that follows either...but I'll be having a bit o' fun with a whole bunch of girls in...are you ready for this??

Milwaukee!

Did you know you can have fun in Milwaukee? I didn't know either.
kidding for all you Milwaukee...ens?? Is that what you're called?

I'll be there till Wednesday and I know the whole time I'm there, the schedule will be jam packed with stuff. Its going to be one of those trips where I come back even more exhausted than when I left. Rumor has it we get little to no sleep on this trip. I'm already yawning in preparation.

I don't plan on taking my laptop {this is a huge decision that also might leave me in the fetal position} so I may be a wee bit absent here next week. I'll have my cell phone with me... I can't leave everything behind, and I have no doubt I'll be tweeting and posting pictures on instagram, so if you wanted to follow along with my trip, you can follow me on instagram (emilygrapes) and twitter!!

This might cure my current blog funk I've been in lately since this girl leads a dull life that leaves me with nothing to blog about. Gone are the days of jetting off to Hawaii and island hopping, and telling you all about it. So stick around, things might get crazy fun when I get back!
I might talk about these bad boys {which is crazy fun to me!}


and just how much I love doing them.
What great plans do you have this weekend?
Are you going to miss me? {only answer that if the answer is yes}

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Like two peas in a pod

Oh my gosh guys, I have to tell you this story in light of yesterday’s post!

I could seriously do a post a day for a whole month on cop stories..not prison stories, but cop-getting pulled over or about to-stories. I have that many of them…

be jealous

But I remembered this one last night and felt it was a must to share because it’s a G-man story.

Remember him? Yeah, haven’t talked about him much lately, but he’s still around…just 3,000+ miles away “around” so no point in talking about my boo-hoos of long distance, hence the quiet about that lately.

oh, how I miss that arm…


Anyhoo, on our first (but really) second date, if you remember we went to San Francisco (feel free to catch up if you need) and on our way there, over an hour into our drive, things were going great. We were in the bay area where traffic was heavy and lanes were plentiful. Off in the distance, I saw a chippy and said so. Then saw another on the side w/an unfortunate driver.

But we didn’t see the other one until the last minute and he was already getting back into traffic and quickly picking up speed behind us.

My first thought, as is always my first thought when I see a cop coming up from behind, is to concede. Slow down to the ‘general’ speed limit and hope he doesn’t get behind me.

Now G-man had a cooompletely different thought.

He doesn’t slow down, but keeps his (pretty fast speed) and finds the nearest exit.
the. nearest. exit!

I was sitting in the passenger thinking, what in the world is this guy doing?! He took the ‘eluding the cop’ to a whole new level by running “scared” (in my opinion) and finding a place to hide so the cop couldn’t find him. I can’t even tell you how much of a hard time I was giving him. I didn’t care it was only our 2nd date, I made it known I thought he was insane for running to hide.

yes, one of my finer moments

Eventually we got back on the freeway. The cop wasn’t coming for us, which only led me to tease him more for his actions, but to this day I laugh at his method of getting out of a ticket. We all have our ways, I suppose. Mine generally were saying I had my weapon in the car or being in my uniform, or flashing that smile of mine (what can I say)…I realize these instances were post pull over vs the pre…but its all the same.

I guess we make a good pair, though.
On 1 hand you have me…who’s had a cop believe I was leading him on a high speed chase for 11 miles before pulling over.
and on the other, you have G-man…who gets pulled over for ever so gently saying to a cop (as the cop was passing G-man(who rightfully was going the proper speed)) ‘you gotta be kidding me!’.

We’re quite the pair, we are…and that’s why you gotta love us.

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Bring you up to “speed”

I can’t say what it is, but something about eluding a cop makes me all sorts of happy.

On my way to work the other day, I went to pass a car on a back road 2 lane highway, and as I’m gunning it, getting right along side her, I see faaaaaar off on the horizon a black car with a white top coming toward us.

It can only mean 1 thing: CHP. I slam on my brakes, get back behind her and go the slow slow speed, waiting for him to drive past.via lolsotrue

As he does, I have this huge smile on my face as he stares me down. I started to laugh right then. He can’t get me, I’m going the speed limit… I was doing the whole, ‘he ain’t got nothin’ on me!’ thing, when he flips a U behind me. At this point I’m talking to myself. ‘I don’t know what he’s doing…he can’t pull me over…I did nothing wrong…let’s see him try…’ and after 2 minutes of this, he turns down a road. But the whole rest of the way, I was convinced! he was tracking me.

Which he wasn’t…

I love eluding cops! Its such a victorious feeling.

Moving on – over a week ago, a co worker of mine, who’s in no way a friend, acquaintance or will ever be for that matter; called me “Em”. I did a double take when she said this, thinking who does she think she is calling me a nickname?? It was odd and in truth, made me a little uncomfortable. I barely have my friends call me Em, let alone a virtual stranger who didn’t seek my permission.

If you ever get an email from me, you’ll see I sign it “Em” but that’s only because I’m too lazy to type the full Emily over and over again…

Any way, fast forward to last Thursday, walking through the office, another co worker calls me Em. I stopped and asked her why she was calling me that and she said a co worker who has authority in the office, told EVERYONE in their sales meeting that I want to be called Em…or “M” as they’re saying.

I never said this!! Now everyone is calling me Em and I can’t even tell you how annoying it is. Its so bizarre!

In other news – My wonderful mom brought to my attention, after my forgetful post, that I was in a head on collision. Head vs windshield and the windshield won, which could very well explain why I can’t remember my childhood, not to mention my 19-20 year since it happened when I was 18.

But after she pointed that out, I remembered all my head injuries I’ve had. I’ve had 2 medically confirmed concussions, but I’ve probably had a total of 3..maybe 4. This makes complete sense why a lot of my memory has faded. My head is all screwed up!

Is it weird I’m a little relieved we figured it out?

Thus concludes a random post by yours truly.

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A thankful me - 24

Welcome back everyone! Anyone eat those brats for me?? Would you believe I forgot I was craving those so bad until now…aaaand, I’m wanting them again, drats!

My weekend was jammed packed with stuff. Saturday consisted of being in a room full of Armenian women. If you’ve never been in a room with them, I can describe it in 1 word: LOUD. Ok, I have more words. They were really sweet and great, they make everything from scratch….and all talk very very loudly..and over each other…and in a different language. Picture the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding…that should put it all in perspective for you.

Some even did the whole screaming ‘la-la-la-la-la-la’ thing they do when they’re celebrating..you know what I’m talking about. My mind was pretty much blown the whole time I was there, and I drove the whole 35 minutes home in complete silence, no talking, no radio…just quiet.
I have to show you all they made, and this was only the beginning. The more that came the more that was brought. I had baba ghanoush for the first time!


They did the fruit platter themselves, and I also had mulberries for the first time. I didn’t even know what they were. I actually thought they were some sort of sugared candy.

Then Sunday was all about my to-do list and I have to say, I knocked that thing out! Well 90% of it. It took all day long to do. I was a machine. I’m so excited, I cleaned my back patio and scrubbed my chairs so I can actually sit out there. It only took almost 3 years, but I finally made it where I have a cushion on one of them and can enjoy my space.

So, with my crazy weekend, I’m thankful for:

- my patio cushion. Honestly, I’ve been peeking out my blinds at my new little sitting area. Just love it.
- my Dad. He’s a great dad, he is. I’m so thankful he’s still here to celebrate another Father’s Day with.
- fruit stands. I was able to hit one up on my way home from work and scored lots of fruit and veggies for super cheap!
- someone coming up with the cutest term for me: Adorkable..you know, adorable and dork put together? Adorkable. Is it odd that I love it??
- someone else thinking I’m stuck up upon first meeting me only to realize how fun and ‘adorkable’ I am. I probably should work on those 1st impressions a little more…or people could just stop judging me by the way I look…either way, I’m glad her opinion of me changed.
- $15 refund check for shipping. This girl loves a good refund check.
- making these delicious zucchini brownies! I know they ‘don’t sound right’ as Megan put it, but seriously, they are so so good. I used all natural peanut butter instead of almond butter and man oh man, they’re so darn tasty!

Fill me in on your weekends. Bake anything yummy?
- its been ages since I’ve baked anything, so it was nice to do…even if I will be the only one inhaling these.

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Letters on a Friday

I thought it was Friday yesterday…you can imagine my disappointment when I realized at 3pm it wasn’t. Yes, it took me that long to realize it. Thank goodness its today though! Cause that means its time for….

Dear readers, thanks for the support on yesterday's post. I, like a lot of you, wish there would be a punishment for false accusers…maybe and hopefully one day. Dear skin, seriously? …seriously?! We clear up the dermatitis and are ok for a few months and now rosacea? Do not approve…do. not. approve! Dear rosacea, I find it funny you’re only prone to women ages 30-50. Thanks for waiting until I was 30 and 8 months old. Dear lamp, what is the deal? You had two people wanting to buy you but both “forgot” they were supposed to meet up to take you. I don’t think they see your full potential and don’t deserve you. Dear dry shampoo, I don’t get what the big deal is with you. I don’t notice a change at all when I use you on day 2 hair. What gives?! Dear legs, you have 7 weeks to get super toned for my bridesmaid dress. No flab allowed, okay? Dear ankles, you will soon be separating from the calves once again. It will be painful but I can’t have you be cankles anymore, I’m sorry to break it to ya. Dear bleachers, I love you…almost more than broccoli. Running up you feels sooo great. Let’s keep meeting up every other day so we can show those ankles and legs who runs the show. oh and bleachers, did you get my pun there? …that was for you.

Loving you loving me,
Emily

Now everyone, I sure hope you have a great weekend. Have some bbq for me, okay? Preferably a chicken sausage kabob or brats or beer brats or a polish dog…

I think I need me some sausage…

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Abusing the power

I’ve debated posting about this for weeks. I’ve written and rewritten it many times, wanting to convey it the way it needs to be conveyed. After a lot of thought, I believe its important I do talk about it because it’s a serious issue that many people, and many many women take lightly and abuse.


We, as woman hold a lot of power.

One little word against a man can ultimately bring them to shambles. Even if it isn’t true, that word can ruin them and little can be done, because it will always be in the woman’s favor.

I have a guy friend that was falsely accused of sexual harassment in the work place. When I say ‘falsely’ I really mean maliciously. He had never met the girl, ever. He replied to a 7 person email (where she was among the 7) and she in turn filed he sexually harassed her. ..in the email, where he made no mention of her in any way.

It sounds like it would be a cut and dry case, her clearly being in the wrong, but it wasn’t. They immediately investigating it and him, not to mention pulling him in the office, in front of the 6 other email recipients to announce that he’s guilty of harassing her and that they’re guilty of not reporting it; without warning, privacy or due process.

He was shocked, embarrassed and humiliated.

He had to seek legal council to ensure he did nothing wrong. Which he didn’t. All the lawyers agreed after looking at all the evidence and laws, that he in no way sexually harassed her and that she is essentially out of her mind thinking she can accuse him of this.

But its out there now. She was determined to ruin his career and life only because she knew she had the power to, by saying those very powerful words. My poor friend was beyond stressed, constantly worried, disheartened and very discouraged by it all. It consumed him, effecting him in every way. He analyzed and looked at it from every angle to be sure it in fact couldn’t be misconstrued into anything harassing and it couldn’t.

I read the email and the law and no where did his email fall within violation of the law. Not even close. Not even on the same planet.

He was told this girl has a “history”. Even with a history, they still were quick to believe her. Even with his squeaky clean history, they still were quick to take her side. All of his co workers were outraged and rallied beside him, but the damage was done. It makes me so angry he had to go through that.

Its not fair.

A few weeks into the investigation, she decided to drop her charge against him, changing her story. Even though we’re all grateful for the outcome, it doesn’t negate what she did. He had to receive training. He had to write a letter defining the meaning of sexual harassment. And he had a letter put in his file from his supervisor about the incident.

She received no punishment. No additional training. No letters...nothing.

Women need to realize its wrong to falsely accuse a man. We need to hold the ones who are doing it accountable and condemn them for their actions. Showing them there are consequences for their actions and put a stop to this once and for all!

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Forget me not. Only, I forgot…

I have a great memory…except when it comes to growing up.

I about remember nothing. Weird right? Not a lot of people believe me. Some say I’m lying or pretending to forget but I have huge chunks of my childhood and even high school gone from my brain.

There have been many times I can’t decipher a dream from reality so I’ll have to ask someone if an event actually happened.

About 4 years after high school, I was flipping through my junior yearbook and came across a picture of the Homecoming Court…and there I was on stage with all the girls. I had no memory of that whatsoever and was pretty shocked to know I was in it, being the sports girl that I was. Honestly, the details are still so fuzzy, I don’t know if it was junior or senior year…

Since then, I can remember standing on stage but I think the only reason I remember that is because of the picture.

I don’t know why this is. I had a wonderfully loving upbringing, but I feel horrible its practically all gone. A lot of the traditions we did in the family, the games, precious moments..gone. Whenever my family reminisces, all I do is sit there unable to contribute. Almost everything they say is brand new to me.

There’s been times blurbs will pop in. I have a vague memory of my dad and I, when I was around 9/10, watching movies and eating 10 candy bars in one night. I don’t know where everyone else was, or if I’m making it up, but I think that happened…its been an active memory I’ve carried with me for over 15 years, so I hope its real.

But sadly, its not only my childhood. I barely recall from age 19-20. And NO, I wasn’t drinking or doing drugs!!

Its so crazy!

This makes me appreciate my blog even more. It’s storing all my memories, my stories, everything that’s noteworthy for me to return and be reminded of later down the road, in case this keeps happening.

Tell me I’m not alone in this? Do you remember your childhood or even your high school experience? Any tips on keeping the memory alive and kickin’?

insert completely random non related picture…

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Why I’m not a real photographer

So, remember when I said I did a family session..and a wedding..and a fundraiser and umm a church ministry shoot…?

Remember those? No? Well, I’ve been a bad pseudo-photographer and hadn’t finished editing…any of them. I won’t even mention how long its been since the first shoot. Its that bad.

Hoooowever, that sort of changed over the weekend. Pretty much every single weekend I chastise myself vehemently about not finishing them, and then the weekend passes, week day life takes over and I don’t think about it again until the new weekend rolls around since I have time to dwell.

I’m a good dweller, in case you haven’t caught on.

But like I said, I fixed it a bit this weekend. I knocked out 1 1/2 of them. I’m giving myself mad props for this.

yes, I just said mad props.

I’m a typical shooter. I dream of being creative and fun, where my images stand out from others, but I’m not exactly there yet. I don’t have a lot of time to practice lately so its still an imagination of mine verses it being a reality. So, when my good friend, who I look up to in photography, tells me that an image of mine has ‘moodiness’ with 2 !!, I get excited. Especially when that’s just what I was going for.

Black and whites have been my struggle. You would never know how difficult it is to make an image black and white until you do it {properly}. There are so many things to take into consideration, so many things I’m still learning, that 7 out of 10 black and whites I do are wrong. you have no idea how frustrating that is

Along with my lack of prompt editing skills is my real reason why I won’t be ‘official’ and charge people any time soon.

My same friend sent me a web link that put it all in perspective for me and proved I’m not ready. I don’t think I realized how elaborate it was to begin your photography business legitimately, until that post. I don’t have time for all the requirements right now and am ok with that.

Though I may not dive into this and make people pay me, I’ll still happily shoot friends who are looking for some new pictures, provided they understand it will take them a good 4 or more months before getting their images.

Did I just admit that!??

What’s the longest you’ve waited for professional pictures? Pin It Now!

A thankful me - 23

…and we’re back for another week. I thought this was fitting..and also so true.
via

I had myself a good little weekend, yes siree bob I did. Sheets were washed and back on the bed by 10am Saturday. If that’s not a good start, I don’t know what is, friends!

I also did my towels in the 1C vinegar and hot water then 1/2C baking soda and hot water and I have to say, they’re smelling nice and fresh. I recommend it for all who needs to get that mildew smell completely out.

Which I have to tell you while I was talking to G-man about this method, he quickly chimes in, informing me all that needs to be done is the vinegar wash, then wash in soap, then dry thoroughly…a method he believes he searched and implemented on his own but in fact was shared by yours truly. Yes, I told him that method and said so even though he doesn’t believe me.

I won’t complain, he’s using a method that I told him about so its all good in my book, whether he remembers where he got the tip or not…no biggie. I just thought it was funny.

I realize my description of my Saturday is incredibly depressing and well, boring. That’s me folks..that’s me.

I’m thankful for:
- you guys for telling me what you’re thankful for last Monday.
- lunch out with some girlfriends Sunday. We had a great time, even though I didn’t notice I was in my house slippers until we arrived at the restaurant…and even though my friend noticed at my house and didn’t say anything. I don’t hold it against her…much.

- getting fresh fruit and veggies at the farmers market. I can’t stop eating those blueberries!
 
- being able to drive into the prison in order to get my new State id, so I can carry my wep-ee-own. (that’s weapon for those who don’t speak awesome) I’m now good to go for the next 5 years.
- dreams just being dreams and not reality…getting shot in the head at point blank just has a bad omen to it, don’t you think?? though I did survive..much to the disappointment of the guy who wanted me dead.
ironic I followed my gun comment with this dream…
- someone saying I bring a calm peace to a room. Clearly they don’t know me well. – I jest but it was a bit of a surprise to hear.

Oh, I need to tell you which dress I chose… {I’m smiling on the inside}
I know some weren’t too…keen on this one, but I actually love it and it makes me feel all sorts of sassy in it where the other was too Emily. Predictable, safe, normal, just nothing wow. This one, I can do so many things with. Makes me all sorts of excited to wear it.

Here’s to a great start to the week!!

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And the smarty pants are…

Before I reveal who in fact got the answer correctly, let me first give you the answer as well as what’s behind the answer from the riddle yesterday.
~
~
~
She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered correctly, you think like a psychopath. {nice, right?}

Supposedly it’s a psychoanalysis test created by a famous American Psychologist that is used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly.

Now, whether or not this is 100% accurate is debatable. But let me now go ahead and let you know who exactly got the answer correctly...to uhh, maybe watch yourself in case you’re around them.

Wendy
Katie
Daisy

..and well, myself.

If you answered it wrong, don’t you feel a little better about yourself, now?

As my mom says, to you know, cover up the fact we all think like serial killers…that instead, we think like cops..who need to think along the lines of a killer.

Makes it a little bit less hard to take, don’t you think?

Have a wonderfully safe and murder free weekend, everyone!

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Riddle me this

via

I’m going to work your brains today.

I came across a riddle that I’ve had tucked away for 7+ years and starting wondering if you could guess the answer…the answer that I got right immediately.. (just sayin’)

Maybe you’ve read it before, but let’s see if you know the answer.


Read this question and come up with the answer. This is not a trick question.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she didn’t know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and couldn’t find him.

A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? (Give this some thought before you answer)

I made it so you can’t see comments, so everyone can give their answers.

I’ll tell you what it is tomorrow.
Can’t wait to see what you think it is!!

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Shoot ‘um up

Its well known around these parts that I have guns…if you’re new, I uh have guns.

Ok, now that’s been established.

For the past couple years, I never had the need to carry my handgun with me, so I never bothered getting up to date on my qualification for my conceal/carry permit. Since my retirement, I needed to go back to the prison, show I’m current on my card, have them submit the paperwork and get a new i.d. with the ‘yes’ box checked to carry.

Its actually a very simple process for me. This was all arranged in October of last year. I told the woman I’d be there in November to pick up the paperwork with proof that I can still shoot.

Fast forward to June and I still hadn’t picked up the paperwork.

I called her and after saying who I was and why I was calling, she stated, ‘is this the paperwork you said you’d pick up in November??’ blast! she remembered! But I was happy she remembered who I was, despite the fact I didn’t follow through 7 months ago. After assuring her I was coming in Tuesday, (which I did) I had to make sure I qualified over the weekend.

To the shooting rage I went!

here’s a little insight to me. I still get nervous. It’s a gun! So my adrenaline gets to pumping, my hands begin to sweat and I look a wee bit sloppy at first…especially when I know I’m being watched. {which I was.} They have to watch me when I qualify and I no likey.

I passed with flying colors, I say ever so humbly. After turning in my target, I headed back in to have some fun with my friend.


It sure was a lot of fun once the nerves calmed down. Though, as you saw, I have to wear gloves most of the time since my hands get sweaty which makes it hard to grip the gun. Which I ended up putting on right after she took the pictures. I have to love the owner of the shooting range saying I’m the first person he’s ever seen ever who needed gloves.

Thanks for making me feel more less awkward…

Do you ever get to make it to a shooting range or get out to shoot?

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You can’t lay down!

The other day I needed to look for my qualification card for my weapon and I came across my old notepad I used to carry around while working in prison.

I flipped through it, stopping to read the many notes I wrote to myself that was needed at the time. As I continued to flip, I came across this page. ‘YOU CAN’T LAY DOWN’. It immediately brought me back to the moment I wrote it and I couldn’t help but shake my head at my silliness creativity.

I was exasperated at that moment. I had only transferred to the 2nd prison a few months earlier, still adjusting to the way it was ran {and not liking it} when I was in charge of supervising a ‘cage’ of inmates waiting to see medical. Only a few were left waiting and one lied down on the bench.

Which wasn’t allowed.

I ordered him to sit up, but he wouldn’t. We exchanged words back and forth and he finally spat out, ‘I DON’T SEE IT WRITTEN DOWN ANYWHERE THAT I CAN’T!!’

Out comes my little notepad and I scribble furiously on it, holding it up to the chain link that separates us so he could see it.

Once he read it, he sat up and remained that way until his name was called for the doctor.

I admit, I was dumbstruck he actually obeyed once he saw the note but the other part was still seething over how these inmates at this prison acted, which was in complete contrast to the inmates at the first prison I worked.

Working in a prison required a lot of creativity. Sometimes that creativity wouldn’t come and I had to rely on someone else’s, but it was essential in order to work around inmates.

Since finding the notepad, I’ve had a lot of memories comes back. Some good. Some bad. Some where all I can do is smile or shake my head in frustration. I have to remind myself they’re just memories. They can’t be changed. There’s no sense in continuously beating myself up over my past actions because they’re done…but I do.

I get disappointed in myself over some memories, hating myself for some actions, even growing frustrated when I remember the things I did..and didn’t do. Is it possible to forgive yourself for your past?

It’s always talked about forgiving others, but what about yourself?
There’s still some things I hold over my head that I don’t seem to want to let go of.

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A thankful me - 22

Woot woot, its Monday!! I’m sure we’re all feeling the ‘woops’.

I had quite the weekend. I only partially worked on my butt groove on the couch, much to my surprise. I headed into the city on Saturday to sell my lamp to this girl, only to have her ‘forget’ and ‘keep her phone off the whole day’. hmmm, she claims she feels horrible about it.

No matter, since I was by a bunch of clothing stores and determined to find a bridesmaid dress. Which I believe I did. *wink wink* but also 2 dresses that I was surprised to get such a mixed response on twitter and instagram over.

I’ll continue the debate of which you think is better of the two before telling you which one I actually got.


After getting my shopping on, I met up with a friend to go shooting, which I’ll talk all about later this week, but it was all sorts of fun.

I’m thankful for:
- impromptu dinner invitations followed by a 4 mile bike ride. My friend wanted me to run alongside her after a hefty meal. puh! So I opted to ride her bike while she ran. That girl’s an animal!
- new wiper blades…I can’t stop staring at them. Its true. I started getting nervous to use them and finally turned them on and giggled they cleaned my windshield so well. …its ok, you can say I’m lame.
- a weekend all to myself to relax and do whatever I wanted. It was so nice
- getting my shoot on followed by delicious mexican food. LeAnna…I think there’s something to that last part ;)

Do you ever know there’s a lot you’re thankful for, but can’t really pinpoint what they are? That’s me. I’m thankful…always. Its just at times I can’t put my finger on them and struggle to think of even 1 or 2. All throughout the week, I think about it and sometimes, all throughout the week, I can’t think of one.

I have my ups and downs, and right now, its rollin’ on down. SO how about you tell me what you’re thankful for. Fill me up with your gratitude so I can be reminded of all of mine I’m overlooking.

Readyyyyyyyy and GO!

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Letters to me. Letters to you

Dear broccoli, I love you. I will always love you, our dates every night have been amazing!


Dear dreaming self, I can’t keep up with your weird dreams. A swarm of killer mosquitos?! A girl falling down stairs, landing at the bottom in a broken jumbled mess, all in the same night? ...what is wrong with you??
Dear High School, having the graduation on the track the night I finally made it out there to workout was a good trick.
Dear work, this whole working full time thing is really cramping my jetting off to Hawaii trips I’ve grown so accustomed to doing.
Dear Hawaiian Airlines voucher, I will use you before you expire. Oh yes, I will…
Dear G-man, I hate that its been 4 months since we’ve seen each other.
Dear Tabitha, these push ups we’ve been doing for the past 2 months have been giving me some serious arms!
Dear buddies, which dress should I choose for the rehearsal for my friend’s wedding?


I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. I may have plans…but then again, I may tank ‘em and work on my butt groove in the couch, instead. We’ll see!

oh and dear June….whoa, you’re here!
- Me

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