Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Kids and birthdays

Today is one of my nephews birthdays. Not just any ordinary birthday…today marks double digits for this guy! 10!

I’m realizing I don’t have a current picture of him. I think he’s 6(ish) here.
em190
Remember when 10 was a huge deal? You’re double digits, its only the hugest moment ever!! …well, until 13…then 16…and 18, ok and 20, 21, 30… Yeesh, it never ends, I guess. But I did the appropriate card, as a good auntie should do, and I’ve been wondering about kids and birthdays, and what you all as aunts {uncles} and momma’s think.

I have 10 nieces and nephews so it seems a birthday is always coming. Before when there were a lot less and they were a lot younger, I dropped the ball. I never called (cause seriously…they couldn’t even speak) and I wouldn’t send cards…they couldn’t read… and even though I felt bad, I felt it was a waste of my time and money.

*hangs head in mild shame*

About 2 or 3 years ago, I resolved to be better and at least send them a card. And if I could, a text to my brothers/sister for the little one. I’ve been really good and consistent but still struggle with the ones that are turning 1 or 2, if a card is really necessary and really! do my brothers and sister even keep the cards? Or just throw them away.

hard to say

I’m noticing that they appreciate when I send their kids cards because their kids are so happy to be recognized on their birthday. I forgot how important birthdays are to kids. How much they matter. Once I was reminded of that, I realized how much a call was equally important to them and now resolve to make that call as well.

But they aren’t doing it for their nieces or nephews. They {general ‘they’} complain their kids aren’t getting birthday attention, but choose not to send cards to everyone else’s kids. How is this fair? Personally, I believe it you aren’t willing to take the time to send cards to other kids, you shouldn’t be upset if others aren’t sending your kids cards.

Maybe I’m off base, who knows, but me being kidless is offering up her kidless opinion of tough cookies if you aren’t willing to do it yourself.

So parents, I open it up to you. Do you get upset when family/friends don’t send your kids birthday cards or call them on their birthday?

Do you send your nieces/nephews/close friend’s kids birthday cards or call them?

Do you throw the cards away?

and a semi on topic/off topic question. Do you let your kids open the birthday card the day it arrives? Or make them wait for their actual birthday?
- I was surprised to learn my brother and sister in law let them open the cards the day it arrives, even if its 5 days before their birthday.

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8 comments:

Natalie said...

I'm no parent either, but I loved getting cards in the mail, even when I was young... but then again, I've always had a love affair with letter, cards, and packages. And I've never thrown a card away! =)

the blogivers said...

I have 4 nieces and nephews and have been thinking about this lately, too! I used to give all of them a birthday gift each year, but as they are getting older, I have stopped doing that. I always send an email to my sister to pass on to them, but I don't even send a card. I feel guilty about this, but I know my older sister doesn't want to feel obligated to give Davis gifts/cards, so we made a mutual agreement to not send stuff. Of course my twin sister still sends them cards and money, and that just makes me look and feel like a crappy aunt!

Lauren said...

Well I have 2 nephews and 1 niece. All under the age of 4. I have ALWAYS bought them a card and called. My one nephew lives in another state so we made a video for you tube singing happy birthday. I remember how hurt I was as a child when I had family who didn't remember be me on my birthday. We are talking ALL my aunts and uncles on one side. But they would ALWAYS call my brother. That hurts a kid. So this is probably why I am so diligent to celebrate their bday! And I keep all my cards :)

Lauren said...

Well I have 2 nephews and 1 niece. All under the age of 4. I have ALWAYS bought them a card and called. My one nephew lives in another state so we made a video for you tube singing happy birthday. I remember how hurt I was as a child when I had family who didn't remember be me on my birthday. We are talking ALL my aunts and uncles on one side. But they would ALWAYS call my brother. That hurts a kid. So this is probably why I am so diligent to celebrate their bday! And I keep all my cards :)

Lisa said...

I have 7 godchildren (yip same parents)and I forgot the third eldest birthday over the weekend. I called him last night and when he come to the phone (he turned 11) I said to him "I am the worst Miss Lisa in the whole wide world cause I did not call you on your birthday." He replied with "I don't think so, in fact I think you are the opposite. Besides, I knew you would call....eventually." Turned out that when he added up all the calls he received and realised I had not called he said to his mom "That's ok. She will call when she can. Miss Lisa won't forget about me."

And you know what I realised how important my call is to them and I have vowed to never ever forget to call one of them on their birthdays again and I have also promised that I will send birthday cards from now on..... after all how cool is it to receive mail when you are a kid!!!

Ashley said...

They are such lil' cuties!!

I love getting snail mail...especially cards! I'm one of those people who still sends birthday, mothers day, christmas or any random cards to my friends and family. I think there is something so special about getting a card in the mail. Someone could easily write on my FB wall or send me an email, but to take the time and send a card in the mail...I love it!

sandi said...

no i don't send cards to my three nieces or one nephew. two of the four we see frequently and are sometimes present if we can make the three hour trip. hmmm, cards are tricky... the children love to get them in the mail and want to keep them. i am a throw-it-away if it does not serve a purpose person. they each have a box under their beds for school papers and keepsakes and i will go through it at the end of each school year and whittle down what i want to keep or toss. at that point they have forgotten about it. of course, there will come an age where they will be consulted about keep/toss items but it is just not right now.

Katie said...

Hmm...this is interesting, Em. As a kid, my uncle {mom's side} always sent me a card & $$. My sisters and I are his only nieces, so I think it was special for him, too. And we LOVED it and looked forward to it every year. None of my aunts/uncles on my dad's side ever did anything, but we're not very close with them at all. So, I guess as a kid who didn't have close relatives, the few cards I got meant the world! But now that I'm going to have nieces/nephews, I'm not sure what I'll do. I for sure don't think I'll get upset if my siblings don't get my kids cards/gifts! I mean...that will end up being a crap ton of cards & gifts!!

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