Thursday, May 31, 2012

Its only a number

In many ways, I act my 30 years. I’m mature (most of the time), I now hold a secure job, (for any newcomers, I’m not a dead beat. this is what I used to do) and I don’t party, get wasted or go clubbing.

Yet, in so many ways I feel so so very young.

I didn’t realize years ago, that at 30, I’d still feel like a baby. I thought 30 was old. It was the age a person was in their ‘prime’. When I hear someone say they’re 35, I think they’re so much older than me because I feel as if I have a long way to go.

I’m getting wrinkles, no doubt about that. And definitely more gray hair, but when I look in the mirror, I still see this young girl that looks all sorts of gawky. Every hair washing night, I put my hair in braided pigtails and stare at myself marveling over how I’m supposed to be ‘old’.

I’m 30 but I still sport the ‘tails’ during the day….
photo (31)I’m 30 and I still get called a dork. And still get asked if I’m in college.

A blogger said, she read an early 20’s blogger say she believed 30 was middle aged. Now that’s plain immature. I don’t know if she was joking when she said it or completely serious but it got me thinking that its really only a number and as corny as it sounds, you’re as young {or old} as you let yourself feel.

I don’t know what point I’ll start to really feel my age. I hope no time soon, but at some point, I know it’ll creep up on me.

For now, I’m enjoying being 30 and knowing its an incredibly young age. That what I thought 30 would be when I was younger is even better than what I could have imagined. Its not a doomsday number. Its not depressing or life ending. To me, I see it as a time for maturity.

I had a great run at my 20’s, accomplished a lot even, but 30’s is something entirely different to me. I’m still figuring it out but I look forward to what’s to come. I know I’ll still be gawky and most of the time awkward but it’ll be fun none the less to see what they’ll bring.

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11 comments:

meme-and-he said...

I am starting to think that I am never going to feel like what I thought I would feel at a certain age (quite the sentence :). I don't think I will ever feel like I have "arrived", or am finally completely mature, or have it all figured out. I think I will always feel quirky, a little immature at times, and still have a lot of growing up to do (even when I am 80!).

Lisa said...

Girl, I'm circling 40 and I still don't feel a day over 21.

Age is just a number and thankfully one which does not need to define who we are. I often see on profiles that people say "I'm a 22 year old mother of 2..." or "I'm a thirtysomething living in Hong Kong" and wonder why they always lead with their age???? Its not important is it? Well, not to me.It's not who you are!! I believe that you are only as old as you feel and some days I feel sweet 16 and others a grumpy 80!!

A friend always says you are only as old as the guy you feel......maybe that's the way to go!!!

Daisy said...

My friend just turned 30 and she swears its the end of the world! I agree, you're as young as you feel :)

Megan said...

You definitely don't look 30!! I think that numbers don't even matter...it's just about enjoying every single day of life that God has given us!

Natalie said...

I don't think I've ever felt "my age" I either feel way younger or way older... usually depending on how everybody else around me is behaving if that makes sense.

Jennifer Blair said...

I agree with MeMe! I still don't feel my age. I guess I do in some ways, like you said, but I don't in so many others! I still remember this time when my mom looked in the mirror and said "I certainly don't feel like I should have wrinkles and grey hair. Inside I still feel 20." Hehe. I will probably feel that way too.

Jossie said...

I definitely don't feel like I should be 32. Every time I say it I am surprised that's actually my age. I remember my mom having my sister when my mom was 33 and thinking that she was way too old to be having kids (mind you I was only 10 at the time so what did I know) and now knowing that it's definitely not too old to be having kids! The only times I feel my age is when I don't move during sports as fast as I used to, I get tired easier than I used to, and when I see the wrinkles around my eyes. Otherwise, I still feel 23!

sandi said...

i often feel that i am much to young to have the responsibility that i have ~ maintaining a home, three children (9,7,4) married for 14 years, healthy eating for said family ~ and i am 44. i guess it is how we feel about the number we are. of course things are not in the same place they were a few years ago and a little sagging is going on after breastfeeding three children. but i can still do back flips off the diving board, water and snow ski, kneeboard and keep up with my children (the older two) on a six mile bike ride. it's all in your head... all in your head!

Katie said...

agreed! Only I often feel way older than my age...living so differently than so many friends my age. But age is just a number...not a timeline that we have to accomplish things by. That's what I get hung up on a lot :)

Nicolle said...

I'm very close to 39, and 40 sounds so weird to me, but I'm owning it, and it doesn't scare me at all. I still feel 16 inside. :)

You look young and are so beautiful, and I think that your attitude and happiness have a lot to do with that! xo.

Noa / www.noablog.com said...

I think 30 is awesome. And I'm not saying that just because I turn 33 in a month....

I really found myself in my 30's. FOUND me. And learned to love myself and believe in my instincts more than ever.

Enjoy it chica. You're 30 and fabulous :)

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