Tuesday, May 15, 2012

You have two faces

I’m seeing a lot of these around me lately. More than I thought. Everyone looks really nice, acts really nice but I’m finding out that’s not the case.

Its always a given there will be a few who put up a front to get you to let your guard down, but it seems {right now} that everyone I’m around has a front up. And let me say, my guard is up with a shield and a chain link fence surrounding me, because I don’t trust one single person I’m working with.

At times, I forget and start opening up but quickly remember and close back up. One time I did, I blame Pinterest for being so awesome because I started talking about it to a co worker who hasn’t joined and I told her I’d invite her…well, my blog is linked to my pinterest account and next thing I knew, I emailed her the invite, realized, and had to take my blog address off my pinterest account.

In no way can I have her (especially) or any of my co workers know I have a blog. Talk about needing that separation but its moments like that that I realize I need to very careful with what I say.

There have been other situations where I know almost an entire office of staff do not like this one particular co worker of theirs, but you wouldn’t have the first clue watching them interact with her. Even worse, she’s told me how they praise her and her work weekly. Yet, I know the truth. And I think, if they can be so convincing with her, how much better can they be with me??

Even I start to believe they like her with how they talk to her. Even when she’s not there… {let’s be honest, a lot of women are a bit catty} I was waiting for them to talk about her and they didn’t once…yet again, I know they don’t like her at all.

Talk about confusing!

It makes me tired having to watch what I say. I’ve deflected many personal questions but I know they’ll keep coming and there’ll be moments I won’t be able to deflect.

So, I ask you..how do you keep from answering questions about your personal life at work?

How do you get your co workers to stop asking you personal questions?

I’ve thought about saying, “I’d prefer not to talk about my personal life.” but talk about them instantly hating me after that.

Any ideas, tips or advice would be superb!!

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Katie said...

Ooooh man. Being the typically closed off person I am IRL, I have some tips for you :) First, own 'the old lady' act. By this, I mean that I typically go to bed early, don't go out to bars, don't have really any drama at all in my life. So when people ask whats new or what I've been up to...I just play up the old "Oh you know, same old same old." act. Make sense? I basically let it be known how plain and ordinary I am so no one ever latches on to any juicy details! Next, I just divert conversation. I always get to know other people, and take so much time doing it that they forget to get to know me. Just as lots of questions and know a lot about them and they won't even realize they know virtually nothing about you :) Haha..terrible, but true!

Lisa said...

Gosh how I wish I had pearls of wisdom for you but well my life is pretty much an open book and I wear my heart (and all my emotions) on my sleeve......so I am basically useless in this area.

What I am however is selective with who I share what with. Experience has made me rich and working with the same company for almost 7 years means I have gotten to know who I can share what with.

Good Luck

The Heart Of A Woman said...

You seem like a genuinely nice person. They shouldn't have anything to say behind your back, but I know many women can be so two-faced no matter what. My boss was at my last job. Pretty much everyone was. I only had one woman I trusted and she trusted me. It's aggervating for people to be two-faces. I wish I had advice, but I don't. Be your fabulous self and I don't see how people couldn't just love you!

Wendy said...

Oh, girl, you must work in a corporate setting because this sounds EXACTLY like where I work! So many people have two-faces at my job too. It's hard to know who you can trust, or if you can trust anyone at all. I just do my best to change the subject when I start to get asked questions that are too personal for my liking. I wish I had some better advice for you, but the BEST advice I can give is to pray, pray, pray! And I'll be praying for you too! Hang in there, sweet lady! :)

Daisy said...

Ha! Man, am I on the same boat. You must work in an office.I have grown to have a bitter hate for office politics. My solution is to be closed off and cold but I know that as a Christian God would have me minister to them. So I try to pray at work so I don't loose my mind. If you find a solution please let me know!

meme-and-he said...

ugh. this is one of the things I hate the most. I haven't told anyone at my work about my blog, either. Not that it would be the end of the world if they found out. and I try to blog in a way that if ANYONE happened to stumble upon it, it wouldn't be the worst thing. And to respect my work, I don't blog too much about my job. But I, too, need that separation.

Tabitha Mahoney said...

Make it up, go CIA on them. Kidding, just tell them you like to keep it professional at work, and keep your home life separate. Its not personal it is just best not to poop where you eat lol.


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