That time I was in a flash mob

Its been almost a week since I’ve been back from Milwaukee and I’m still processing the trip. I haven’t exactly said why I went or what it was about. Partly because it’s a part of my life I haven’t talked about just yet, so in the meantime I’ll talk about the fact I was in a flash mob!

Crazy, right!? Who in their right mind ever gets to be a part of a flash mob??

Months before going to Milwaukee, we were told we were going to do a flash mob and I about freaked. I, Emily, do not do such extrovert-ee kind of things like this. But they were all determined and I figured I couldn’t be the only one who didn’t do it so I knew one way or another, I needed to learn the steps.

The night before we practiced. And practiced and practiced some more. Until after 1am, in the hotel room, me and 6 other girls going over each move. With each time we practiced, I started to get more and more excited for it.

The morning of, we all were pretty antsy. Standing around outside waiting to get in to start the morning. Thousands of women were milling around the parking lot, streets, and sidewalks. We all hovered around waiting for the 2 minute signal. Continuously asking each other, is that it? Oh oh, was that it? Then the music started and we all started running into the street.

…the busy street of Downtown Milwaukee at 8:30 in the morning…stopping all traffic so we could dance. One poor car got caught right in the middle of the mass of women dancing…as you can see. If you’re not quite sure what a flash mob is, you can watch OURS! Thanks to Katie for finding it!!.
                                                                      (I’m out the screen on the far right side)

Initially I planned on being in the middle mixed in but I found myself up front and on the very edge. Visible to all. But I didn’t care. I just had fun!
And I seriously had fun…and was diggin’ it apparently from my expression.


Everyone who watched us were cheering us on, it was pretty great. The music got cut half way through but we still had a blast.

I didn’t know being in a flash mob was on my ‘to do’ list in life but I’m certainly happy I can say I checked it off. Pin It Now!

Have you ever

Happy hump day my friends!

Have you ever toured the Dallas Cowboy Stadium?
- Yes, while G-man and I were driving across country, (is it cross or across?? Someone fill me in here) we stopped in Dallas and decided to walk on in. Not sure if they still are, but the tickets were extremely cheap and the tour was great. They took us on the turf too.

My attempt at self portrait w/the stadium. fail


Thanks to my love for helping me out.



Darn slouching. I need someone to smack me every time my shoulders roll forward.


Have you ever been asked by a teenager selling newspapers at your front door, if ‘your parents were home’, and you were 25?
- Yes, I thank the creams I was using, keeping my skin so youthful! I held back a laugh and said, “no, they aren’t.” She left.

Have you ever worn a mini skirt to a job interview?
- Yes, can I say I was 18 and didn’t have anything ‘professional’ to wear!? But can I also say, I got the job?! Yes, a man interviewed me. Yes, I got hired because my interview skills were that awesome. (I’m shaking my head no)

Have you ever had a bacon grease burn like this before?
- Yes, never think you can make bacon, coffee and a full breakfast at your first ever yard sale where the crazies show up at 6:45am to shop, thus leaving you frantic, confused and now burned to the 2nd degree.
I never felt any pain at all. I’m thinking the adrenaline had something to do with that.

See you tomorrow. =)

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Have you ever

Today’s my last day with the doggies…and cat. Well, sorta. I agreed to go back over the weekend while she’s out. But this ends my week with them. It’s bittersweet.

Have you ever rode a 4 wheeler to and from school for 2 weeks straight?
- Yes, does this make me a hick? I did live on a farm miles from town. I was 14 and my parents drove my sister cross country to college so my brother rode his dirt bike and I got the 4 wheeler. And for the record: it’s 4 wheeler, not quad!

Have you ever almost passed out while shooting a shotgun?
- Yes, I was in a 2 weeks weapons training and we had fired nearly 100 shotgun rounds and I had a major celebration the night before that might have involved some ‘dehydrating beverages’ and missed breakfast. So add together the beverages, skipped breakfast, heavy emotions and pressure to shoot accurately in a line of men (can we say, only female?) that it all caught up to me.

I had to turn, get another’s attention telling him he had to take the gun before I dropped. He grabbed it quickly and they led me to a rock to sit and gave me water. They said I looked like death. –gee thanks.

I went to the restroom since my body wasn’t happy (er, sorry for the tmi) and took my time in there. I kept my ears in, from the noise of the gunfire and didn’t realize they were banging on the bathroom door to see if I was ok. Once I heard, I said I’d be out in a few. As I step out, I’m met by the fire captains/paramedics wanting to check my vitals. They feared I had passed out in the bathroom and were about to break down the door (since I wasn’t responding)…can you imagine??? Me sitting there as they barge in? I would have been mortified!

What tops it all off, they announced over the ENTIRE institutional radio, read: 500 officers and higher + all the non custody; that “We have an Officer down at the range. We need medical attention.” That just made me even more embarrassed.


this is my baby, Remington 870 pump action shotgun. It’s best if you steer clear of my home.

Have you ever had to say Orthochlorbenzalmalononitrile, Hexachloroethane, Chloroacetophenone and Oleoresin Capsicum and know what each one means and how it effects a body?
- Yes, All but HC are gasses that will absolutely make you miserable when exposed. And when I say miserable, I mean you’re physically, mentally and emotionally tortured. Some believe they’ll actually die. And yes, I’ve been fully exposed multiple times to each and every one of them…maybe that’s why I’m a little off. hhmmm

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Have you ever

Today is going to be the start of a very very crazy week..it has a little something to do with these little guys…

which I promise I will tell you all about in the next few days. Pinky promise.

But for this very moment…

Have you ever driven down the road, spotted a dollar bill on the side, flipped a U to go back to get it, and as you picked it up see it’s actually a hundred dollar bill?
- Yes, I was so excited. And yes, I went back thinking it was a dollar. Wouldn’t you?!

Have you ever been walking down the street and looked over in the grass and spotted 2 20 dollar bills just lying there, crumpled up?
- Yes, Promise it wasn’t someone’s yard. I was in Honolulu, walking past a high rise condo at a busy intersection. I split them with G-man.

Have you ever been in the middle of playing baseball with your family and see something green against the fence, walk over and see it’s a ten dollar bill?
- Yes, I was 8…it was the start of my findings. My Dad didn’t believe me until he came over to see for himself. My brothers and sister were upset they didn’t see it first. little sis one upping the siblings…Score!

Have you ever been lounging out at the pool and as you get up to leave, see a grown man completely naked jumping into the pool, then getting out and sitting naked on the edge?
- Yes, Horrified much? As G-man walked over to tell him to get dressed, he jumped back in and put his shorts on. Not exactly what I expected to see that day.

Have you ever seen this giraffe?
- Yes, At the Santa Barbara Zoo. Don’t know her story, but clearly broke her neck at some point. Ick!


Also, I wanted to welcome my new followers! HI, thank you, welcome. Ya’ll are awesome, just sayin’.

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Have you ever

So I’m distracted, it’s true. I figure it would be best to get this prepared while I’m waiting for G-man to arrive. Yep I made sure to keep myself busy while waiting for him to show up by posting as many as I can.

You’re welcome. haha

Have you ever been called “Sir”?
-Yes, those inmates…They are good at saying “sir” to women. It was always hilarious when they did. Their eyes would bulge, get all nervous and apologize up a storm and say, “ma’am” 5 times in a row to make up for it.

Have you ever watched a couple breakup through texting each other while sitting beside each other on a train?
-Yes, is it bad that I was “text-dropping” a.k.a reading the guy’s texts? Yes, it is, I know. But I was enthralled that they were silently fighting/breaking up all while sitting next to each other on a train.

Have you ever hit a gas pump with your car?
-Yes, what, you haven’t?? I was 15, drove a boat of a car. Pulled in but a big honkin’ van was blocking the entrance, so I came in at an angle and as I neared the 1st pump (there were 2) I heard this noise. Not knowing what it was I kept going. Then I felt and heard a bigger noise and realized I hit the 2nd pump. Knocked it 1/2 way off the raised cement block. Turns out the sound I heard earlier was me clipping the 1st pump. I was so scared. I didn’t have my license yet. The cop chuckled at me.

Have you ever watched a bunch of young guys carve their names into the Coliseum walls?
-Yes, can you believe that? There wasn’t anyone around we could tell but they thought they were so cool to carve their names, and film themselves doing it, into the Coliseum! Unbelievable what people will do.

Have a lovely Wednesday my sweet blogging friends!

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Have you ever

This has been a crazy good week and I know it’ll keep getting better! Tomorrow I’m going to look at some kitties…big kitties, endangered ones. So excited. You bet I’ll have my camera.

 

And in case you’re wondering, so far in life I don’t have any have you ever experiences with wild animals…that I can think of. Wait…something’s coming to me. I’ll have to tuck that one away for later.

 

Have you ever imagined while driving down a highway with a bunch of hills and mountains along side that you could pull over and just..run up to the top?

-Yes, for many many years I had this dream and always thought it would be so cool (and easy…eyes are deceiving) to pull over and run up to the top. Well I finally did it! And by the way, that’s not the top. It’s 1/2 way. Again with the deceiving eyes. It didn’t look that big from the bottom.

A view from the to…middle.

I was so proud of this moment. When I say, this was my dream to do…it seriously was my dream to do. As crazy as that sounds.

I ran from aaaaall the way down there. That’s the horrible car I drove for 8+ years that I’ve talked about how much I hated.

 

Have you ever had a man tell you in 5 years (from the day of the conversation) you’ll have gained at least 20lbs and by when you reach his age (in 20 years from the day) you’ll be FAT?!

-Yes, gotta love my old co-workers. He was serious too, believing and saying to my face that I’ll be getting fat in 5 and full on fat in 20. I’d like to announce that was 3 1/2 years ago and I’m the exact same weight I was then (as I smugly eat a Butterfinger).

 

Have you ever been so obsessed with your vacuum lines that you start in the back room and walk out of each room and sling the cord over your left shoulder while flicking it back as you walk, like a PRO?

Yes, so I may have watched a program with a professional housekeeper who said the cord over the shoulder, flicking it back as you walk is the way to do it and I may have been doing it ever since seeing it….7 years ago. And the starting in the back room walking out is totally my mom’s fault. If she hadn’t told me about a neurotic house cleaner she knew who had to have perfect lines so she started back working her way to the front of the house, I never would have thought it a brilliant idea and started doing it myself. Perfect lines, people! Perfect lines!

 

Have you ever been harassed so bad on the freeway by a guy that you called the cops, drove 15 miles PAST your exit and when the cops caught up to you and the guy, he wouldn’t pull over until the cop turned his sirens on?

-Yes, ok seriously, heart is pounding writing this. It was a crazy night. This guy thought I cut him off but I was never near his car (fact). So he gets so close to my bumper I didn’t even know he was there (it was getting dark). I slow down to 50 in 65 (this was before I knew he was a crazy) then sped up to 95 (again before I knew) and the whole time he was inches away. I waved at him to pass me (I wasn’t having fun anymore) and he came along side me screaming, waving his hand at me and threw his cigarette at my car.

 

Got in front of me, slammed on him brakes and drove 45. (did I mention this was on a very busy freeway in San Francisco??) At that point I call the cops. Give my info and while on the phone, he slows back down and gets behind me again. 20 minutes and 15 miles past my exit of him harassing me in each lane I go in. I’m told to put my hazards on so CHP can find me and the guy does the same to mock me.  CHP is waiting on the side for us to pass and catches up to us quick. Puts his lights on but the guy won’t pull over. It took the cop to turn on his sirens for him to pull over. (it’s night now).

 

I wait for a CHP to get to me waiting a mile away and I was freaked! I shook from adrenaline for 3 hours after. Turned out the guy was drunk which thankfully led to his arrest.

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Have you ever

Wednesday Wednesday be a good day to me please. Tuesday was, eh at best. Come to think of it the past 2 Tuesdays have been very bad for me but you Wednesday...have treated me well. So, you good with keeping it up for me??

Ok, now that we have that settled...


Have you ever taken a charge so hard in basketball, (because the darn girl ducked her shoulder like a linebacker) slam your head on the ground then afterward not know you're on offense as you stand in the key?
- Yes, after taking the charge, we had the ball and I'm still in defense 'guarding' the key. Everyone on the bench and court was yelling at me that 'we're on offense.' I kept yelling back, 'I KNOW!' but kept playing defense. Coach called a timeout, took me out of the game and made me answer a bunch of questions.

Have you ever been in a head on collision and not worn your seatbelt breaking the windshield with your head in the process?
- Yes, I sustained a concussion, whiplash and bruised shin bones from the dash. I am a heavy heavy advocate for seatbelts now.

Have you ever known someone who as a boy sitting behind the driver seat without his seatbelt, get into a head on, and have his teeth stick into the back of the seat and get ripped out from the impact.
- Yes, poor guy. His jaw was wired shut for the longest time!!

Have you ever been blindsided by an inmate carrying 70 lbs of trays that it sent you soaring 10 ft. through the air, and upon 'landing' slam your head on the concrete floor sustaining a concussion, whiplash and a bruised tail bone...and have it all be an accident?
- Yes, he didn't see me, I didn't see him. He plowed into me so hard. I can still hear all the i/m's screaming out when they saw my head bounce off the concrete. Once I got up, I started to go back to work but was forced to get checked out. Everyone said it looked and sounded horrible. The i/m was so scared but it really was an accident. I'm now officially 7% disabled because of it. The dr. wanted 25%. (I wish now, I had agreed.)
And yes, all these are why I can't look left/right OR up/down for long but mainly this one finished me off.

Have you ever had to wear a 15 lb work belt that sat right on your hip bones and made them swell up real big?
- Yes, (forgive the slight immodesty)

That was 2 weeks into work. I went out, bought a nylon duty belt and slung it like John Wayne or as a Sgt. would call me, Jane Wayne. <this is the only way I could wear it>

Forgive the messy look, deathly white skin and sunken eyes. I had just worked a 16 hour shift and was beat.

*Random Tip: Wear your seatbelt and look left and right when entering a building. It will all save you a heap of pain! Pin It Now!

Have you ever

I'm diving in today people!!


Have you ever had to pop both your ankles, both knees 4 different ways, both hips 2 different ways in order to walk like a normal person + pop your fingers, palms, wrists, elbows, deltoids, collar bones, neck in all different directions, your upper middle lower back in any way possible and your deep lower back just to be able to move?
- Yes, I never claimed to be normal.

Have you ever made a bet with a guy that dining wasn't spelled d-i-n-n-i-n-g? 
- Yes, I only bet when I know I'm going to win, why do it otherwise right? He believed 100% it was spelled with 2 n's so I bet him a soda (I know, big stakes) that it was with 1 n. Guess who won!? glug glug glug!

Have you ever lived with such horrible roommates who stole your food, mugs, detergent and anything else they could get their hands on that you marked your milk line after each use to monitor usage?
- Yes, remember the L.A story (see #2)? After living in L.A for 6 months, my roommate got married so I had to move fast and found these 4 horrible people to live with. I was working 2 jobs and could barely feed myself so it would hit hard when they took all my stuff. It got so bad I hid my t.p in my room. I didn't see my favorite mug for 4 weeks before it turned up dirty in the sink.

Have you ever lived with such dreadfully horrible roommates (yep, same ones as above) who, when asked if you had any mail, looks at you, says, 'no' then says, 'hold on, let me look in the trash.' Pulls out your mail that is opened, read, with the papers sticking out of the envelope and out of order, hands it to you and says, 'yeah I think this is yours.'?
- Yes, she opened official government documents from the state that told me the date of testing to join CDC. If I hadn't asked at that moment, I would have missed my appointment and not been able to join the department. can we say federal offense?! Oh 10 minutes later she came in my room with another piece of mail saying, 'I just found this, I think its your's too.' ...it was from the original envelope.

Have you ever driven down the road wishing you'd get into a car accident so you could buy a new car only to have a head on collision happen 5 CARS IN FRONT OF YOU?
- Yes, I said, 'sorry Lord, I take it back.' drove around the accident (everyone else was already there) and ended up driving that hated car for 8 more years.

Have you ever had such a horrible week at work you went to the mall and spend $400 in clothes, $650 on a ring and bought a new car?
- Yes, yeah, I know...I still have the ring, don't have the clothes and got stuck with what turned out to be a clunker for 10 years. I'd like to say that was only in my younger years and I've grown out of such wild amounts of spending but....

Have you ever told your mom your weakness is home goods stores and your desire to avoid them yet she still takes you in an antique store she loves, to make you spend $550 in stuff?
- Yes, okay so she didn't make me, but I WARNED her I avoided all things housewares! Truth be told, I would have spent $400 more on a chest of drawers but they only took debit cards, not my credit card.
I've mended my ways now, promise! --I still love my purchases for my home to this day by the way!




*Random Tip: Leave home without your money to keep yourself from spending. Pin It Now!

Have you ever

This has no relevancy, just wanted a tranquil start to the post.

My goodness it's Wednesday. Anyone else feel this is the longest week ever? I normally don't have much concept on dates or days or times...I'm not working right now so there's no need for me to watch the clock anymore.

(is it weird that I'm a little embarrassed to write that I'm not working, even though you all know it's because of my disability? I feel this weird shame about it, yet it's impossible for me to work, so why am I stressing!? agh!)

With that said, longest. week. ever. So let's pep it up and pick it up with my Wednesday ritual.

Have you ever agreed to bake goodies for, what turned out to be, uh I think over 80 women?
- Yes, though I made myself stressed out and overwhelmed over it, I enjoyed being able to give in this way. I give God the glory for pulling it all off with just enough time before the event.

Have you ever seen a new Dentist who takes molds of your mouth, x-rays and gives you a full check up and when you walk out to the receptionist she says, 'That'll be $3000 please.'
- Yes, really yes! She expected full and complete payment right at that moment. That's all he did. I think my deer in the headlights, I think I just saw a ghost look on my face made her take pity on me. She "let" me pay it all at the next visit. And yes, I had insurance.

Have you ever been stung by a hornet a 1/2 inch from your eye and you scream and scream and when you take a breath and go to sit on the ground find out you're about to sit in horse manure?
- Yes, I was 9. A girl was banging on a hollowed corral where a hornet's nest lived. They came out angry, all the girls were screaming, I turn around to see what happened and here comes this hornet right at my face! Stings me! Now I'm the only one screaming (and being stared at like a crazy person) and when I go to sit down everyone yells at me not to. I think I'm about to sit on a hornet and it's horse poo and I scream in fear. at. horse. poo... Eye swelled shut for a few days after.

Have you ever forgotten someone's name that you've known for over 3 years, worked with for over 1 year and sneakily asked them what their FULL name was, acting like you wanted to know their middle name just to get their first name?
- Yes, it worked. Still to this day I know her first name. That was 15 years ago.

Have you ever seen a young girl with her thong strings sticking way out of her pants in a huge crowd where everyone is laughing at her and gone up to her and whispered that her thong was showing, and she looks back at you and says, 'I know, I did that on purpose.'?
- Yes, This was back in the day when it was 'just starting to become a fad'. I was at an N'Sync concert (yes I said N'Sync! Bye Bye Bye...) walking out and there she was. I wonder if she knew that everyone was laughing and pointing at her. And she thought she was being "sexy" no less. What a nasty trend that was/is.


*Random Tip: Did you put on your shirt and find white deodorant tracks on it? Use your nylons to wipe them away. Rub on the spot where the deodorant is and they'll fade away. Put a knee high in your purse for on the go use. Pin It Now!

Have you ever

Aahh Wednesday, some love you, some hate you but I don't mind you. You once were my Fridays and sometimes my Mondays and now you're my have you ever days.

Update from yesterday: I only have 1/2 a tank of gas, darn it! And I never went grocery shopping but found a bunch of soup I had frozen in the freezer, SCORE!


Have you ever been to a Michael Buble concert?
- Yes, 2 in fact. We love love love Michael Buble. Can't get enough of him and he is a great performer, I recommend ALL to go see him. The last concert we got floor seats and he walked by us and slapped my hand. 

 That's my head and he's the one with the microphone...

Have you ever been punched in the kidney by a guy?

- Yes, gotta love high school. I was 15/16 sitting on a desk before class when a guy (who I had this 'punching friendship' with...I was a bit of a tomboy) came up from behind me and punched me in the kidney. He took it a little bit too far with that one and pretty sure I told him so. Boy that really hurt. 

Have you ever met a den mother for a strip club who would punish the strippers by putting itching powder in their "costumes" if they didn't give her enough of their tips?

- Yes, I used to work at an animal hospital in Vegas years ago and she would always bring her 2 dogs in and would be full of stories. She was not a woman to be crossed as the strippers would learn, rather painfully. 

Have you ever been in a push up competition, lost and still hold bitterness over it to this day?

- Yes, It followed the sit up competition I mentioned last week. The guy in charge was standing over me, since I won. After announcing me as the sit up winner he said for everyone to get ready for the push ups. I asked him if I could rest for 2 minutes. He said, NO then said ready set go! I started doing push ups. By 115 I was getting really tired. My strategy was to do 2 then rest for 10 sec, 2 rest for 10 since I didn't know where everyone else was and wanted to stay ahead. It proved fatal. On my second push up my arms gave out and I stopped at 133. Come to find out the closest person to me was at 100 and was doing 1 rest for 10 AND her hands were being held down, which to this day I still believe was cheating. She stopped at 150 (which irritated me that she kept going past my #) and won. yeeeaahh, this was 6 years ago too. One day I'll let it go, one day.

Have you ever driven across the country?

- Yes, we took an entire month to do it. Went from CA to Virginia/D.C and went the southern route. We had such a wonderful time, taking our time and seeing everything possible. It really is a great way to see our beautiful country...and meet Paula Deen along the way.

*Random Tip: Instead of frying bacon, bake it on a cookie sheet in the oven. Lightly spray the sheet with Pam (makes it easier to clean) and pop the bacon in a 400 degree oven. After 10 minutes drain the grease, place back in the oven and cook for another 6-9 minutes (depending on your desired crispness). Drain the grease again, place bacon on a paper towel to blot and eat the yumminess. No frying splatter mess to deal with.

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Have you ever

Is it bad that all week long my brain says 'have you ever' in preparation for these posts? It's constantly thinking of new 'have you ever's'. Sometimes it's really annoying.

I have to tell it, 'Brain, you need to stop. Take a break for just 2 hours. Think of other things like puppies or the ocean or how about thinking about the old man that hit on you at the beach yesterday??! Just don't think of 'have you ever' moments for me, PLEASE!

(Seriously...old man. at the beach. hitting on me. *sigh* This is one of the many reasons I don't like to go to the beach by myself. Guys come to talk to me. He was a very nice man from NY who was vacationing, apparently by himself. He flies home Sunday. Any way...I'm getting off track.)


Have you ever crashed your moped in a busy intersection for all to see?
- Yes, In Waikiki. So very very embarrassed. The whole turning, breaking, accelerating thing hadn't sunk into the ol' noggin yet and I crashed right into the curb! Kind pedestrians ran over to help me, but I was so mortified I brushed them off, jumped up and zoomed away...I still have the scars on my ankle to prove it.

Have you ever been in a sit up competition?
- Yes, true sit ups for 30 minutes straight. I did 545 sit ups and won the competition. OH YEAH!

Have you ever been stopped in a clothing store 2 weeks later by a guy that saw the competition asking to see your abs?
- Yes, and...I admit...I showed him. He was impressed. hehe

Have you ever said something with complete sincerity to someone only to have it taken the complete opposite of how you meant it?
- Yes, I was 22 and a girl my age had 2 kids already. She came up to me to tell me she wished she was skinny like me and I responded (with sincerity) that I'm skinny because I haven't had 2 kids yet(like her). Well, it got all awkward since people around me thought I was saying she was fat and insulted her...I wasn't!

Have you ever kept a childhood tradition all through your adult life?
- Yes, since I can remember I have stayed up until my birthday. I was born at 3:02am. So every night before my birthday I will either stay up till exactly 3:03am (so it's official) OR set my alarm for 3:01am so I can sit there with anticipation. Every time I say, 'Happy birthday to me.' and then I go to sleep.

(and because it wouldn't be a have you ever post without a speeding comment)
Have you ever driven hundreds of miles to a destination and not have anyone pass you?
- Yes, this used to be a big deal for me when I was younger. I would make sure I was the one passing people and would feel disgusted when someone was coming up on me. So I would speed up even more, just to keep my record of no one passing. (I know...I was crazy or weird or stupid...however you're seeing it right now)

So, have you ever!???


*Random Tip: Instead of a lemon, put a slice of cucumber in your glass of water. It's wonderfully refreshing and a nice change from the sour lemon. Pin It Now!

Have you ever

I have no idea how that thankful post moved from 2 weeks ago to today...so just pay it no mind...unless you want to read it of course haha. But know, it's really out of order and I just have no clue what happened.

Any hoo!

Have you ever worn a 'fashion forward' blouse where all the buttons were on the back but everyone kept stopping you to tell you your shirt was on backwards?
- Yes, After wearing it out a few times I had to stop from sheer embarrassment of people thinking I didn't know how to dress myself.

Have you ever seen someone spit out a bus window only to watch it come back 3 windows later to hit the unsuspecting person in the face?
- Yes, I was so grossed out by this. The spittor was very embarrassed and the spittee wasn't too happy about it, naturally.

Have you ever almost started a fight on a plane while it was 2 hours into your 5 hour flight?
- Yes, it was not my proudest moment.

Have you ever driven from Los Angeles to Las Vegas in 3 hours and 16 minutes?!
-Yes, this IS one of my proudest moments. (I had to redeem myself from that last one...) If you've ever driven it, you know it takes 5 hours to drive. I'm an excellent driver..eh-eh-excellent driver.

Have you ever been pulled over only to have the cop talk to you for 15 minutes and share his whole work history not to mention tell you all about his family?
- Yes, I don't know what it is about me....He let me go without a ticket too...saying 'Have a great trip.' Gotta love it!

Have you ever been suckered into infomercials?
- Yes, I really am a sucker for them. P90X, The Bean, Beach Body Guaranteed, The Ab Rocker....I'm seeing a theme here. But sadly it doesn't just stop at workout stuff. The list goes on and on and on. Sucker, I'm tellin ya!

Have you ever put yourself in a small concrete storage room with a serial rapist, 2 murderers, a child molester and a 'normal' rapist without a radio or a PAD (personal alarm device) and not know NO ONE knew where you were?
-Yes, stupidly yes. My partner was hanging out with another c/o, the gunner, (no comment on him), so I went up with our bldg porters (i/m workers) to go through supplies. My partner had the radio and it wasn't "cool" to carry your alarm (yeah, I know it's dumb) but I thought they all saw me. I stood about 5 feet into the door but knew I was invisible to everyone. Probably 10 minutes later or so I hear keys (meaning a c/o was coming) and realize at that moment the position I had put myself in and it turned out to be my Sergeant. He pulls me aside, talks to me and that's when I learn absolutely NO ONE knew where I was or had been for the past 10-15 minutes. Needless to say, I wore my alarm from then on out and never put myself in that situation again. Rookies....!

Have you ever been locked in a building with 50 inmates all around you screaming at your gunner to open the gate to let you out only to have him refuse because he thinks you're supposed to stay inside ALONE?
-Yes, ...again...rookies! Here's the protocol: 2 Officers on the floor 1 Officer in the control booth (aka gunner) When an alarm sounds from another building or the yard goes down (say a fight happens...) BOTH floor cops run out of the bldg. 1 runs to the alarm. 2 (ME!) stands outside in front of the bldg to provide extra coverage for the yard (since that's where hundreds of i/m's are) Our gunner that day let 1 out but refused to let me out.  So it was a huge safety risk keeping me inside alone with the 50 i/m's he didn't make prone out. He finally let me out and we had words at his back window. All was resolved.

Have you ever walked through a mall and thought to yourself, 'ew, something smells horrible!' and you rush to get out of there, only to hear a woman passing by say to her friend; 'mmmm that smells SO GOOD!' 
- Yes, today in fact. It was putrid, I kid you not. I don't know what she was smoking to honestly think it was a good smell. But she loved it. Crazy people.


*Random Tip: Whenever cooking something in a crock pot never ever lift the lid. It's said if you lift the lid, that's 1 hour lost on its cook time. So, don't touch! Pin It Now!

Have you ever?

Since I got quite the little response to my last have you ever post I thought it would be fitting to do another. And maybe even make it a weekly Wednesday thing... I do happen to have a lot of "have you evers" in my life after all.

It was great getting emails and comments from you all, telling me how you've done the same thing or couldn't believe this or that. So without further ado....here comes round 2. (...I rhymed...did you see that?!)

Have you ever fallen while holding someone's baby?
- Yes, 18 years old, my Volleyball coach's baby was crying and I was the only one that could soothe her, only she wasn't stopping and it was dark, and I finally see my coach from a distance. As I take my first step, the huge stroller wheel, that I didn't see trips me, and I fall face first but land flat on my back. Everyone around me said in mid-air I flipped to protect the baby...I still don't know to this day how I did that. Freaked me OUT though!

Have you ever had a man scream at the top of his lungs 5 inches from your ear the day after sustaining whiplash, a concussion and enduring a monster size migraine?
- Yes, I gave him my famous stink eye, said some things to him and locked him up.

Have you ever been pulled over only to have the cop tell you he thought you were doing a high speed chase?
- Yes, and I have to say this is one of my top proud moment stories. Seriously..it is. He said it took him 11 miles to catch up to me from when he clocked me and due to my 'awesome abilities' of passing people in both lanes (my words not his) he thought I was running away from him. (he called it reckless driving, puh! what does he know) He said he almost radioed in a high speed chase, but at that moment I pulled over. He was mad at first but walked away smiling...I have that effect. =)

Have you ever seen a bike locked to a street light only to have everything but the frame stolen?
- Yes, in fact today. Here's my proof.

Have you ever died in your dream?
- Yes, I was a street cop, partner and I were chasing after 2 killers. We went out into the mountains, following them. I heard them coming so I hid under a massive boulder and watch one kill my partner. Then they walk up to the boulder, talk a bit. <I'm on my belly hiding> They talk about killing me and next thing I felt was blood trickling down my face from the gunshot to the head, no pain, but my body was slowly shutting down. Dead!

Have you ever apologized to your coffee for walking out of the room without it?
- Yes, I immediately walked back, said I was sorry, took a sip to show I meant it and we walked hand in handle the rest of the way.

Have you ever thanked an appliance for working? Out loud?
- Yes, all the time actually. My flat iron says 'dedeet dedeet' when it's ready to use and I always say 'thank you thank you' right back.


*Random Tip: Never put a male hamster in with another male hamster. ...Stay tuned next time for the reason why...
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Have you ever?

I've received quite a few '...ew, that TOTALLY grossed me out' comments regarding my slimy black beans. Privately of course, because if you look at the comments, there's only 1 and it's about the cup o' noodle. And I just have to say...they were fine! Seriously! I didn't even get sick, so no big whoop.

But it got me wondering if you've ever done something similar. So I'm playing a little "Have you ever..." game.

Have you ever been wheeled around in a wheelchair at a major airport?

  - Yes, twice in fact. And let me tell you...it's very embarrassing. Especially when I knew everyone was looking at me wondering what was wrong since by all appearances I looked completely fine. And NO I wasn't faking it just to go to the front of the security line....though that is a SWEET bonus.

Have you ever seen a man lying face down on the ground but his foot is pointing straight up to the sky?

  - Yes, it was completely morbid. Just picture that...yeah, gross. But I couldn't take my eyes off it. He was in shock and wasn't feeling any pain. Story goes, his foot got stepped on while he was twisting and going to the ground. 

Have you ever been pulled over so many times for speeding that you're losing count? 

  - Yes... I think the number is 14. There might be 1 or 2 I'm forgetting though. 

Have you ever been pulled over for speeding only to have the cop follow you to Starbucks and pay for your coffee?

  - Yes, on my way to starbucks before heading to work one early morning. I knew he was behind me the entire time so I wasn't speeding...or so I thought. 35 in a 25 zone when I thought it was 35, *sigh*. He pulled me over, saw I was a c/o, let me go. And the next thing I knew after ordering in the drive thru the girl said the cop (who was inside) paid for my order!! I happened to order 2 venti's that cost $8. Hope he didn't mind paying for mine and my partner's. haha

Have you ever been startled in the middle of the night by what you thought was an intruder and you grab your shotgun only it's upside down and you walk around your bed to 'investigate' only to discover it was the book you left at the end of the bed that crashed to the ground?

  - YES!

Have you ever accidentally left meat out on the counter thawing through the whole night, discovering it in the morning, only to put it "quickly" (because that 5 seconds longer would have REALLY ruined it) in the fridge and cook it that night for dinner?

  - Yes. I had already thrown away steak a week before for doing that and it irritated me so much I did it again, that I just cooked it that night. It was fine! Though I really don't recommend that habit.

Have you ever been sprayed in the face with pepper spray?

  - Yes....many times. This is shortly after my first time... the redness looks mild but I'm here to tell you, it was like FIRE! 

Have you ever rode on tires so bald you could start seeing the metal pieces of the tire coming through?

  - Yes..but in my defense. I was young and very poor at the time and I hated my jeep so very much that the thought of dumping anymore than I ABSOLUTELY had to in it (which was mainly gas, and even then...) made me cringe. You'll be happy to know I broke down and replaced it...even though they said I needed all 4 replaced. PUH! Like I was going to do THAT! 

So....have you ever?!?

*Random Tip: Never ever under any circumstances curl your eyelashes on a school bus or in the back of the bus (where all the cool seniors are). One bump will, without a doubt, rip out every precious lash you have.

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