Thursday, May 12, 2011

Shut it down

It’s been almost 2 weeks since G-man left and I’ve gone through a gamut of emotions.

It got me thinking if what I do when alone is the same as what others do, to cope. Shut down the heart, so to speak.

I’ve caught a couple other blogs where a wife can’t even sleep in their room while her husband is gone, so she sleeps in the guest room. Another keeps herself really busy to not think about him not being there.

I’m not exactly like them since; I’m not married, don’t share the same room and certainly don’t have enough to do in my day to make myself busy, but I do block things out. I get in my mind numbing routine that keeps all “G-man” thoughts out, because the moment they creep in I get down, lonely, sad and pouty.

I can’t stand to be around that girl. And if I can’t stand her, I know others can’t either. Sometimes, there’s nothing I can do about it. It takes over and sometimes I’ll let it, but for the most part I don’t like to dwell on memories. It’s just too painful.

Does anyone else do this when their loved ones go away for a long period of time?

Does anyone have any other ideas than ‘shutting down’ emotions? Sometimes I think it’s too harsh and cold to do. And as G-man said to me the other morning, I’ve been acting “disgruntled.” ((which is a product of my shut down))

If I can “conquer” this lava from the 70’s, I figure I can conquer this too.
Not the greatest picture, I know. But I thought it a little symbolic.
Ideas, comments, suggestions, advice…all welcomed and appreciated. Pin It Now!


arielle @ a beautiful journey. said...

how long with you two be separated? praying that God gives you peace for the time that He is away! :)

Sam {} said...

exercise followed by ice cream and pizza. works every time.

Tatiana said...

Brandon has been working like crazy for the last week or so, and he gets home around 11pm every night, which means that I haven't really seen him lately. It sucks, and I have realized that when he is gone for too long I do get in one of those crabby moods, too.
This may be weird, but TV is what works for me. If I'm in a crappy mood I watch funny TV shows. It always takes the edge off a little bit at least :-)

GreenGirl said...

I had a long distance relationship (san fran to philly) for about a year (Brians COUSIN actually but I will save that story for another post...its a good one). The last day was brutal and I would make us both miserable. I would pick fights. I hated goodbyes.
Ultimately, it was a huge reason we split actually...well, some other reasons too...but having the country in between us didn't help.
Its tough, especially when time zones are involved too.
He used to call me every day when he got into work (9am Cali time) and before he left...I was typically getting ready for bed.
It is rough. The positive was that you really learn to be independent and appreciate spending the QT together. Nothing beats the feeling of the actual DAY you get to hang count down, wish days fly by leading up to it...keep THAT feeling alive within you and sustain that.


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