Thursday, June 2, 2011

If you knew me before

G-man and I were talking about this the other night…what I used to be like when I was working. I’ll give you some things he said:

-I acted like a man
-I was very hard. (personality, demeanor, appearance)
-I acted like a ‘buddy’ to him when he really wanted a ‘girlfriend’
-I had a type “A” male personality
-I was mean
-It put him off
-He hated ‘that’ girl

Some may seem harsh, but it’s all true. Imagine being in the worst environment you can ever imagine, being called all kinds of things, seeing all kinds of things that you pray God takes out of your mind, and hate it with every fiber of your being. So now with being in a crappy work place add being miserable to it…not a fun person to be around.

I asked him why he even stuck around and that awesome man of mine said because of my looks….Okay, he was joking but he then said because I was quality. There were far more good things about me he loved that outweighed the bad ones from my job.

*a collective sigh. aawww. Yep, I love him.

But he then went to say just how much I’ve changed since not working.

-I’m all girly
-I’m sweet and nice
-I’m tender
-I’m fun
-I’m relaxed
and so on and so forth. I’m NORMAL. Is what it all comes down to now. Even all the women I was in Bible study with while I was working and my current one can’t stop mentioning how much I’ve changed. Mainly that I talk about what I did. I would never ever ever say what I did to anyone. I hated questions. I hated the shocked looks. I hated everything associated with a new person finding out what I did. Now I’m an open book. And they all love it.

I love that God has changed my heart. Softened it to what it is now. I love ‘feeling’ again. I love when someone asks me how I’m doing that I can respond with, “I’m fine.” without thought. Or I’m so hot (because of the temp) and know I’m not going to get a dirty remark back to me.

It’s freeing. Any way, I wonder if you all would have liked that Emily. Not too sure. But it’s nice to know I’ve changed. I thank God daily for closing that door for me to make me into who I am now.

While we were wine tasting, we took pictures of each other and here are some of me. The relaxed, goofy, awkward me.

I swear, if any of you so much as comment on my grey hair, plan on meeting out by the flag pole after school is all I’m going to say! (ok nice Emily is back again. blacked out a moment there) Enjoy



And because I did say and truly mean that I’m awkward, here’s proof.

You’re welcome.
But really, to my friends and family who stuck with me through my crappy work attitude, thank you. I love you all so much!

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The Blogivers said...

Truthfully didn't notice the gray hair at all until you pointed it out! :)

Ashley said...

Super cute photos! What a hottie you are! Its simply amazing how God softens our hearts and humbles at His right timing in our lives. I'm so thankful for everything He's done for me in my life. Before I was that hard, mean and negative girl...I'm so glad God revealed Himself to me, guiding my steps in a positive way. So happy to hear your are soooo happy and in love. That is truly a beautiful thing Emily :)

Sam {} said...

awww, beautiful words! it's fun to look back and see how God has been at work on our hearts.

lookin hot in the pics, lady!!

Tatiana said...

How YOU doin? Hello there miss sexy, looking all hot, about to send Mr G-man into some type of heart dysrhythmia.
I so understand how you feel about work making you hard. When I was working in the community hospital I felt like I became so hard too. We had so many alcoholics, drug addicts and prostitutes, that I constantly had to yell at someone in order to make sure that the staff, and the rest of my pts were safe. It made me a bit mean. I'm glad I had this little break that let me come back to my old self.

Amy @ dwell in the season said...

I'm glad you're in such a better environment now - it does make all the difference! And cute shirt - I love it!

arielle @ a beautiful journey. said...

so happy to hear that you are "freed" from your old work place :) love the pictures- beautiful!!

Jenni @ Story of My Life said...

Very cute pitures, Em! You're beautiful. :) And don't worry, I have a TON of white hairs, too. I pay 8 bucks every 6-8 weeks and dye this ish, yo. ;)

Hope you're doing well, my friend! Glad you're in a better place in your life now. :)

Jessica said...

Aw that is awesome! God is really looking out for you. :)

You're totally gorgeous, and thank tank + necklace combo is darling!


Megan said...

SO sweet of your man to stick with you, even in the bad times! You are gorgeous!!

denise* paper angels said...

you look really tall!! :) (ok that was a dumb comment right i guess it's because you Are really tall) that's a really sweet story about you and your guy :) i loved it :) (except the sad bits! but i guess they were necessary!) x

denise* paper angels said...

p.s. you are gorgeous :)

Jennifer said...

You are beautiful Em! The photos are lovely! It was great to hear more of your story. What God can do in a life is amazing.

Jossie said...

I don't think anybody noticed your grey hair until you pointed it out, lol! You know I love you and you're my oldest friend but I agree that you have changed a lot. What a great thing to be in a better environment and not have that negativity around you. I know, sort of, how you felt since I was in the counseling field. It sucks and is hard to deal with stuff like that on a daily basis :-) Love ya woman!

Michelle said...

Just some fyi... I liked the old Emily, too. She's the one I met up at Hartland, where I thought to myself, "That girl is going to be my friend." And look where we are today! Love ya, Em!

angie on maui said...

I love this post, Em...a little snippet of the you you-used-to-be and the you you-are-now. I've joked in previous comments how much I think you're a badass, but I love that underneath it all, you're girly and sweet. :)

Random question #1: how tall are you? From your pictures, I'm guessing you're at least 5'8"?

Random question #2: G-man...where is he right now? Somewhere here in Hawaii? Forgive me if I've missed this in recent posts; as you know, I'm relatively new to your blog so I might have missed the obvious. What does he do for work that you aren't physically together? In your most recent post, you tagged the photo "Hawaii"...what does he do out here?

Yes, I'm nosey. Get used to it. ;)


angie on maui said...

P.S. - I have a ton of gray hair, too. :) They have amazingly sprouted up in a mad frenzy over the last couple of years and I vainly deny the fact that it's a part of aging. I'm not to the point that I'm coloring my hair to cover them, but I'm suspecting that's just around the corner.

Oh, Joy.


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